Money. One. Two. Three.

Haley doesn't have a lot of words.  That is the way therapists would put it.  How many words does she have? Well, I don't know.  She can repeat a lot of words, but are they hers?  Maybe not.  So it is always a beautiful challenge (for me) when she uses some of the words she has.

This morning when I began making her lunch she said to me; "Money. One. Two. Three. Four."  The look on her face was serious, searching. It couldn't be ignored. So I looked at her with a look that I must use frequently, because she recognizes it. Mom doesn't get it. So again she said "Money. One, two, three, four dollars." 

It was then that I clued in.  At this point I had a feeling that she wanted money for lunch.  She did not want me to continue to make her lunch. She had plans to go to the Mall.  I didn't want to offer this as a suggestion to her however. I don't like to put certain ideas into her head. We get a calendar for each month from her teacher, so I know when the school outings are. I knew today was a Mall day, but not for her.  So I was quiet.

She looked at me now and said "Money, Mall. Haley."  Oh no, here we go. "Haley, you are not going to the Mall today.  You went two weeks ago.  Let's look at the calendar."  Then I began to go over the calendar with her, hoping she would understand. I never really know how much she understands.

I showed her which day she had gone to the Mall and that this was also a Mall day and then I told her the kids names that would be going to the Mall today.  I told her she would stay at school.  All this time I had been pointing to the calendar.  I then turned to my daughter.  I didn't see the tear that she wiped from her face, but I saw that motion.  I saw the way her eyes glistened.  The way she stood so still, so small.  I pulled her toward me and held her. When I backed away I smiled at her and said "You will have so much fun in school today!"  She said "Fun!" and walked away.

I have often wondered what goes on in that little head.  I have often said that I wished she and I could have a conversation.  Sometimes though, I just know.  I don't always need words.