Stay Home

I don't think Haley likes school any more.

She has always loved school.  She has always been excited to go to school.  She used to ask me "School tomorrow?" and I would say "Yes."  and she would say "Yay!"

Now she just says "Stay home tomorrow?"

I say "No.  You have school tomorrow."

She says "Stay home."

It is not that she doesn't feel well.  This has been going on since the first week of school.

School started on a Wednesday.  That Friday she said "Stay home?" and I told her that there was no school the next day, because it was Saturday.  That made her happy.  I thought it was just because she wasn't used to the routine and she was happy to go back to her summer mode.

The next week she made it to Wednesday and she wanted to know if she could stay home.  I told her that she had two more days of school and then she could stay home on Saturday.  She said "Yay!  Saturday!"

It is the same every week.  She can't seem to make it through a week without asking me if she can stay home.  I don't know why.  When I ask her how school was she always says "fun."  If I ask her if school was fun or if she had a good day at school she always says "Yeah."

Again today she said "Stay home tomorrow."

I said "No. You have school tomorrow. Today is Wednesday. You have school Thursday and Friday and then you can stay home on Saturday."

She said "Yay!  Saturday!  Stay home."

I actually think that she really likes the routine that she had over the summer.  I think she likes doing her own thing.  I think she liked not having a set routine.  I hope that is it.

I hope everything is OK at school.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Haley's Teacher

Haley has a great teacher.

He is the same teacher she had last year, her first year in high school, the kids call him 'B'.  He is young and very enthusiastic.  He is so enthusiastic about Haley that it makes me wonder if he is just as excited about the other kids in his class.  I am sure he is.

I called him two weeks ago and we talked about Haley was doing in school.  Haley's Big Sis had noticed that when she sees her at lunch her current helper, who was also her helper last year, seems to be answering questions for her.  Haley seems super shy and her Big Sis just didn't feel right about it.

When I called him I mentioned that in grade school Haley had the same helper for three years in a row.  We noticed then that she was relying too much on her helper and really not progressing.  They started switching up her helpers and she did much better.  I was worried that they may not have that kind of flexibility in her current classroom, what with staffing and budget cuts, but I thought it would be worth mentioning.

This morning I got an e-mail from her teacher, which said:

I am writing to give you the latest on how well Haley is doing.  There are many different things I would like to tell you about.  The most important have to do with safety signs.  Last week, Haley was able to hear 9 different community safety signs, identify them, and fill up her safety sign bingo card.  She was the first to win on "black out."  I made sure her usual adult support was at lunch.  I am really, really encouraged that she finished the card on her own with absolutely no adult intervention. 

That is so encouraging to me, not only was she able to do it all on her own, but the teacher actually got to see that she could because we had talked.  He also said:

Haley observed another student building a small tower out of colored blocks.  (She gave us one of her Haley mischief laughs.)  Instead of watching the tower crash down, she approached the tower and actually TOOK OVER with building blocks.  I couldn't believe it.  She was able to place three blocks on her own before the tower fell.  The falling tower was the big pay off!

'B' likes it when Haley gives him her "mischief laughs."  I love it that she does that at school.  He has also told me that he uses her as a barometer in class.  She is quiet, but in tune to what is going on in the classroom at all times.  If she starts to act differently he knows that something is up and is able to make some changes.

He also mentioned her speech therapists observations:

At the moment, Haley is working with (the therapist) on speech.  They are using an iPad.  According to (him), Haley is able to pick out an item based of the description about 90% of the time.  (He) just said out loud, "I am extremely encouraged."

Her speech therapist is awesome too, they are a great team.  'B' closed the e-mail like this:

I got to thinking about what you said about adult supports.  We are actively switching it up on her.  Haley is stepping up.  This is a very enjoyable start to the year.

I am so happy that Haley has a teacher that gets her and that is willing to work with me.

 

 

 

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Ready for School

Summer is almost over.  School starts tomorrow.  I don't know if Haley is ready.

I think we are ready.  I have made sure that I have all of the things I need to make Haley's lunch.  The bus driver has called and let us know what time to expect the bus.  Haley has a new haircut and her nails have a fresh coat of Tree Farm Green.  I bought an extra package of Depends and a new wipe dispenser for the classroom.  Haley has plenty of clothes, so that is not a problem.

The problem is that I think we are really used to our current routine.

Haley really likes to get up first and dress herself.  She likes to spend the morning on her laptop.  She likes that I have been making her gluten-free pancakes for breakfast. 

I ask her if she is ready for school. 

She doesn't answer.

Usually any and all questions get "yeah" for an answer, whether it is an appropriate answer for the question or not.  This question does not get a "yeah."

The bus is coming.

I will set my alarm so that I will be up.  Haley will already be up.  Then I will have to direct her morning.  I will have to rush something that usually takes anywhere up to three hours into less than an hour.  I am not getting up any earlier than that. 

She will be getting on that bus in the morning.

Should I Apologize?

That is a rhetorical question.

Maybe a better question would be "Should I feel sorry?"

Let me explain.

This week is a testing week at my daughters' school.  The testing is for sophomores.  My daughters are not sophomores.  One is a freshman and one is a junior.  So the testing does not apply to them.

I got a phone call from the school telling me that only the sophomores need to go to school at the regular time (7:30 a.m.) and that all of the other students don't have to be there until 9:30 a.m.  Then the voice on the message said that the buses would be running on the regular schedules.

What?

Well, Haley's Big Sis was all over that.  

She would not be going to school until 9:30 a.m.  Done deal.  She also wants to drive to school all week, because that would be for convenient for me.  Sweet thing.  (Can you hear the sarcasm when you read that?)

That is just fine, but I was still stuck on the buses running at regular time while my child doesn't need to be there until 9:30 a.m.

So yesterday morning I asked Haley's bus driver what was up.  Would she be picking Haley up in the morning this week or not?  She told me that she would check and let me know when she brought Haley back in the afternoon.

So I waited.

When the bus came around the corner I ran out to talk to her.  She said that Haley had a note from the teacher, but the gist was that Haley could go to school at regular time and the bus would come and get her or I could take her later.  It was up to me.

So I asked her if Haley would have something to do.  Would the teacher and helpers be there for her?  The answer was Yes.  

So I said "See you in the morning."

What would you have done?

Another rhetorical question.

I did what I did for several reasons.  

Believe me there was a little voice inside my head saying "You could sleep in every day this week!"  

But, there was another little voice inside my head that said "Haley won't."

So, if Haley is up and the bus will come to get her and her teacher is there for her she is going to school.

Done deal.

What Can She Do?

I met with Haley's teacher, her speech therapist and the school psychologist yesterday afternoon for Haley's Three Year Evaluation.  Afterward I spoke with her teacher Mr. B about her upcoming stint in the Apartment.  We learned about the apartment during her last IEP.

Haley will be in the Apartment next week.  I plan to go in on Wednesday and observe her.  I am so excited!

Yadow Yap

Going back to school today must have tuckered Haley out.

As soon as she had her shoes and coat off and put away and had visited the bathroom she laid down on the couch and said "Blankie." 

Another IEP

Last week my husband and I attended a meeting with Haley's teacher "B" to discuss her Individualized Education Program (IEP) at school. 

Her teacher instructed us to call him B, because it is easier for his students to say.

The IEP meeting is a time when we can help the teacher figure out how and what to teach her.  Each child gets their own IEP and so the teacher has very specific things to focus on for all of the kids in his class.  Haley's teacher is young and enthusiastic.  He has high hopes for Haley, as do we.

We discussed some of the things that were previously on her IEP and how she has achieved them.  Some we can remove because they no longer apply, like those geared more to her Middle School experience. 

She is in High School now, so her learning is changing.

One of the things that will be changing is that she will be in an "apartment program."  The Special Education department has set up one of their classrooms to be an apartment.  They have a kitchen, a dining room, a living room and a bed.  Haley will be "in the apartment" for a week.  She will be paired with another student in the apartment and she will have her one-on-one with her.  While there she and her partner will plan all of the meals, do all of the shopping and cooking and cleaning up.  She will even get to go to a "job."

I am excited about this program.  Not only will she be able to learn how to take care of herself, but I can watch!  They have an area that I can come in to without Haley being able to see me.  I will be able to observe her in action.  I am planning on going in after she has had a chance to get familiar with the apartment.

While we were talking about what she will learn I realized that I haven't been teaching her to do many of the things that she will be learning.  I tend to take care of her.  I don't expect her to be self-sufficient. 

I will be learning as well.

Her teacher asked us what kinds of things we would like him to teach her.  We talked about recognizing signs around the school (like the exit signs) and what to do if she sees the sign.  We talked about learning who to go to for help.  The teacher pointed out that she is never alone, which is a good thing, but we still want her to know the other teachers, the secretaries, the principal and security guards.

The speech therapist was there too.  It is always a bit disheartening to talk to a new speech therapist.  This one at least knows that she can speak, but because she is still in her shy mode he doesn't know how well she can speak.  We told him some of the things that she says at home and his eyes got big.  He hasn't heard any of it. 

He has been working with her to just say "Yes" and "No."  We told him that she says "yeah" instead of "yes" and that we have only heard her say "no" once.  We told him the story.

He wants to determine what she knows by showing her cards with pictures on them of household items.  He showed us the cards.  We agreed that she probably didn't know the things on the cards.  It was a bit embarrassing for us.  Haley knows a lot of things.  She can recognize every animal, all kinds of vehicles, more trains than most human beings and everything Disney related, but she wasn't recognizing toothbrush, comb, hair brush, and soap. 

We don't talk about the day to day things in our house I guess.  I don't know why.  It was very weird to realize that. 

Lately she has been curious about what I am doing when I make dinner.  I have been explaining my processes and what I am using.  I guess I need to do a lot more of that.

The IEP meeting is for the teacher to determine what Haley needs to learn.

Apparently it is also for her parents to learn the same thing.

Everything is Fine

I have been really stressed out this past week.  I have been a mess since I found out that Haley's new school didn't have her scheduled to be in Life Skills.  I have been beside myself with worry. 

That is not an easy thing to come down from.

Tuesday night I went online and was able to look at Haley's schedule. She had Life Skills listed for every period. So that was good.

On the first day of school Haley's bus arrived right when the bus driver told me it would.

I didn't follow it.

Once Haley was on the bus, I immediately emailed her teacher and asked him to contact me as soon as he could and let me know that she was there and how she was doing.  He called me 45 minutes later. 

He reassured me. 

He understood. 

He said that he doesn't worry about the schedules, because they usually change. (That didn't help much.) 

He told me that he read the letter I had written and that he and Haley had already bonded over the 4449. So everything was good.

He asked me if I would be involved in some decision making about what the class would do this year. I told him I would be happy to. 

I hung up and relayed that information to Haley's dad and then I cleaned the house for the rest of the day.  I was still so pent up I didn't know what to do with myself.

Haley came home from school just like she always has.  I asked her how school was and she said "Fun." 

Her sister told me that they did in fact see each other in the cafeteria.  Haley was aloof.  Her Big Sis was a bit offended.  I hope that will get better.

So it worked out.  I am better now.  Everything is fine.

An Introduction

School starts tomorrow.  I didn't get a phone call.  I called the school and lit a fire under a new person's behind and at least I got a call from the bus driver, but I am still concerned about what will happen to Haley once she gets to school.  I am planning to follow her bus and follow her in.  I thought it might be a good idea to write the teacher about my daughter, since I didn't get to go to the school and meet him in person.  Here is the letter that I am sending with her tomorrow.

Hi, my name is Haley.  I am very shy.  I can speak, but it might be a long time before you will have any evidence of that.  I don’t speak in full sentences.  I tend to use nouns mostly.  There are some other words that I like to use a lot, like Cool, Awesome, Silly and Fun. 

Sometimes when I am excited I put lots of words together.  My mom likes that because it means that I am thinking, not just repeating.  I did that just yesterday when I started talking about spending the weekend with my Grandma and Grandpa and I put it together with going to the Zoo, even though those two things didn’t happen at the same time.  I said a long string of things like “Grandma.  Grandpa. Tractor ride.  Walk Tree Farm.  Zoo.  Train ride.  Animals.  Lunch.  Bird show.  Goats.  Store.” 

My Grandma and Grandpa are very important to me.  We have to drive for about three hours to see them.  I like to visit them, but we don’t get to do it very often.  When we are there I get to drive my Grandpa’s John Deere tractor and walk around their forty acre tree farm.  They grow big trees there that they make in to studs to build houses.  My other Grandma lives far away, it takes several days to get to her house, but when I am there I get to see trains go right by her house.

I like school.  I really like structure.  I do so much better when I follow the same routine every day.  My big sister goes to this school too, she is a junior.  It will be fun if I get to see her in the hall or at lunch time.

I like all kinds of food, but I do a lot better if I don’t have milk products or wheat products.  My mom makes my lunch when I come to school.  I can have snacks at school, but it would be best if they didn’t have dairy products or wheat in them.  I don’t know the difference though.  I will eat anything.

My mom has been trying really hard to get me to use the bathroom by myself this summer.  At home I go in to the bathroom by myself and pull down my pants and sit down and then I knock on the door so that my mom will come in and help me.  If she tells me what to do I can do it, I just don’t do it on my own yet, so I will need some help and some prompts.  I can dress myself; I learned how to do it last year when I had to dress down for PE.  I don’t have any depth perception so I need to sit down to take off and put on my pants. 

My lack of depth perception means that I just take new situations and new places slow.  I have gotten pretty good at adapting, but you might notice that I get really careful at steps and I look for handrails, I need them.

My favorite thing in the whole world is trains.  I really like steam engines.  My favorites are the 700 and the 4449 which are both housed in Portland.  My mom and dad take me to see them whenever they are on display or running.  I also really like the train ride at the Oregon Zoo.  When I am at home I like to watch videos of trains going by and videos that feature trains and the people that work on them.  My dad takes me “train-watching” almost every Sunday.  We sit by the tracks and watch trains go by.  It is really fun for me and my dad.

I love all kinds of animals.  I have a lot of plastic animals (mostly horses) and I like to carry them around in purses.  I also like to play with my horses and my wooden stable that I got for Christmas.  I have dolls too that I like to dress and undress and redress.

I really like to watch videos.  My favorites are The Road to El Dorado, Spirit-Stallion of the Cimarron, and The Back to the Future films- especially the third one.  I like most Disney movies, but my favorites are The Fox and the Hound, Lion King, 101 Dalmatians (all three) and Oliver and Company.  I love the Pixar short Geri’s Game.

I like to use the computer.  I play Zoo Tycoon, Lion King and Spirit.  I also like to look at YouTube videos of movies that I like.  I like to fast forward and repeat them.

I am almost always happy. 

Sometimes if I want to do something and I am not able to I get very upset.  If I get upset I usually repeat what it was that I wanted many times and I get louder and louder.  I sometimes scream at a really high pitch.  I have been known to fall down on my knees and cry.  I have never really gotten very upset at school, though,  I usually save that for when I am at home.

I am excited to be back at school, but I don’t do very well with transitions or change, so I might be extra shy and quiet for a while.  Once I am comfortable I will be a good student.

Assume Nothing

The transition from grade school to junior high was smooth.  I knew which school Haley was going to.  I received letters and phone calls from the school and her teacher.  The bus driver contacted me a week ahead of time to let me know when to expect her.  We got to go to the school and meet her teacher and get a feel for the classroom.

The transition to high school?

Not so much.

We received a newsletter.  Actually we received two; one addressed to Haley's parents and one to her big sister's parents.  We received a couple of recorded telephone messages telling us that freshman were to pick up their schedules on Wednesday evening. I have not heard from the bus driver.

I called the school and asked if the Life Skills teacher would be at the freshman orientation.  No.  I asked if the Life Skills classroom would be open.  No.  I decided that it didn't make much sense for us to take Haley to this event if there was nothing there for her. 

We didn't go.

Thursday morning I got a call from the school.  Haley hadn't picked up her schedule the night before, was she going to be attending school this fall?  I told them that I had called the day before and found out that the Life Skills classroom and teacher would not be available to us so we decided not to attend.

"Life Skills?" she said.

Yes, I told her, my child is in the Life Skills program. 

"Well, her schedule shows that she is signed up for Introduction to Visual Arts, Math, Physical Education, Multimedia Exploration, Integrated Earth Science and English." the secretary said.

"Well," I said.  "That is amazing!  As fun as that all sounds I don't think it will work.  My daughter is in Life Skills and she needs a full time one-on-one para-educator."

She told me that I needed to bring my daughter to the school and pick up her schedule and get this straightened out.  So I got Haley dressed and we went to her new school.

I picked up her schedule. 

It did indeed list all of the classes that the secretary had read to me over the phone.  She directed me to the counselor's office, where there was quite a commotion going on.  It seemed that they were up to their eyeballs in problems, but finally Haley's assigned counselor came out. 

She assured me that everything would be fine on the first day of school.

I asked her to call me as soon as she had something official to show me.  I told her that I wanted to meet with the teacher and to walk through the classroom.  She told me that I might be able to do that on Tuesday, but she couldn't be sure about that because the teachers would all be very busy. 

I left with the assurance that I could expect a phone call soon verifying that they indeed had my daughter's IEP and were prepared to have her in their Life Skills program.

That was Wednesday.  This is Friday night.  I didn't get a phone call.

So Tuesday morning they will get a phone call and if I am not confident that this has been fixed I will be going to school with Haley on Wednesday morning because there is NO WAY I am letting her go to that school by herself.

That Sinking Feeling

Usually at this time of year I start to get excited.  Back to school has been a relief for me in the past.  I don't feel that way this year.  I have a sense of foreboding and dread, deep down inside me.  I don't know why.

It started about a week or so ago.  I just started feeling strange.  I couldn't put my finger on it.  After a couple of days of feeling that way I decided to think about it, I wanted to discover the reason for the feeling.

After much thought; this is what I came up with.

This summer has been fun.  This is the first summer that I didn't feel trapped inside the house trying to entertain my daughter.  I know that sounds horrible, but that is the way my summers usually feel.  I like to be busy and during the summer most of the activities that keep me busy stop. 

I have free time, but for me free time isn't really a good thing.

That didn't happen this summer.  This summer I had something to do almost every day.  I had to take my oldest daughter to the zoo and back twice a week.  I had a part time job twice a week.  I had this blog to think about.  My time was reduced because of those things so I had to become more efficient in other things, like housekeeping. 

And Haley can now entertain herself.

Of course that is the best thing.  That is really the thing that has made the difference.  Even the very rare times that she got to use the wading pool in the back yard were not as big of a deal as they used to be.  It used to be a huge production when she wanted to swim.  This year we put water in the pool, Haley gets into her swimsuit, she splashes for a little while and then she tells me she is done.  Simple.

So, I still didn't know why I feel dread when I think about school starting again.  I will have more time for myself, but I will also have other things to occupy that time.  I don't think it is about me. 

I think it is because Haley is making another transition.  She will be going to a new school, a bigger school, a school with bigger kids.  She will have a new teacher and a whole new set of requirements.  I don't think it will be bad, but I always got nervous when I had to change schools and I actually think I am projecting. 

Haley doesn't know what is happening.  We tell her that she will be going to a different school, we have driven by it, we have gone in and said "This is where you will be going to school this year."  I am not sure she understands and she certainly doesn't dread it.

I guess I am doing that for her.

Oh Baby

During the 8th Grade Celebration the other day at Haley's school they had a DJ.  The DJ was "spinning" the latest hits.  My daughter was diggin' it. 

When the music started she immediately started heading for the dance area.  I was walking beside her and I heard her singing. 

I had my camera ready. 

Just look at what I got!

I found out a little later that Haley and her classmates frequently dance and sing to the latest hits in class on Fridays.

The funniest thing about this that I have found Haley looking up Justin Beiber on the Internet. 

Her Big Sis is not a fan.



Citizenship

Today was the last day of school and for Haley it was the last day of middle school.  My baby will be going to High School next year.*gasp*

I received a letter inviting me to attend an award ceremony at the school today because my daughter would be receiving an award.  It is not her first award. She comes home with certificates several times a year, but I have never gotten an invitation to witness it. Also since it is the last day of school and she is "graduating" I thought that I would like to go.

I sent a note with Haley to her teacher this morning asking her to call me if Haley was indeed going to attend the ceremony. There have been times in the past that the teacher has told me that Haley would not attend the ceremony and that her award was given to her in class.

I suppose that is OK, but shouldn't she feel the recognition? Shouldn't she hear the applause?

I wanted her to and I wanted to.

The teacher called me and asked me if I had received a letter.  I told her that I had. She said that Haley would certainly be attending the ceremony then and that I could come.

I arrived at the gym and took a seat in the bleachers. The chairs in front were reserved for the 8th grade students.  I had only sat there a few moments when I saw Haley enter the room with her aide. They sat in the very first seat in the front.  I watched as her aide leaned over to her, spoke a bit and then turned and looked up at the bleachers. I knew she was looking for me so I stood up and waved.

She motioned for me to come down.

I walked up to Haley and said "Hi." She looked very confused. Mom isn't supposed to be at school. I gave her a hug and told her that I would be in up the stands. When I got back to my seat Haley's aide pointed to me and I waved. Haley waved too, but I could tell that she didn't see me.

The award assembly was nice. The principal and the teachers were very enthusiastic about the great students that were being recognized. I got teary eyed and choked up several times. When the Citizenship award was announced I felt a little feeling in my stomach that it would be the one for my daughter.

I wanted to remember the nice speech that the principal gave about what made a student a good citizen, but I don't remember it. I remember my daughter's name being called. I watched her walk up with the rest of the kids that also were receiving certificates. I took several pictures. I was so proud. I felt a lot of love toward that principal as she leaned her head on Haley's shoulder and showed her the certificate and the pin that she had earned. All of the kids were allowed to return to their seats and then the principal herself took the time to walk Haley back to hers.

After the ceremony was the 8th grade party. The kids got to go out on the field and have pizza, chips, fruit and cake. I decided to hang out with Haley a little while. I talked with her aide as Haley ate her lunch. They had a DJ playing music and I noticed that the other girl who was "graduating" from life skills was already dancing. Haley wanted to join her. I watched from the side and took pictures. Haley came to me and seemed a bit warm so I started to help her take off her jacket and BAM!

I was hit in the forehead with a football.

I was stunned a moment. Then I looked around to see who had thrown it. It was a pair of boys who had been throwing the ball back and forth for the last ten minutes. We had asked them to move away from the kids who were dancing, but obviously they didn't do it.

I came unhinged. I yelled at them. I told them that they should not be throwing the ball around a crowd of people dancing. I even called them "little shits!" To that one of them replied "You are not supposed to curse at school." I yelled back, "You are not supposed to hit people in the head with footballs!" (My shining moment!)

Haley just stood there wondering what the heck was wrong with her Mom - probably.

I looked around for Haley's aide and she was not to be found. Someone with a walkie-talkie came up to me and asked me how I was. By this time I was shaking. I told her that I had been hit by a football. She said that she could tell, because of the giant red welt in the middle of my forehead. She asked me about the boys and we talked a few minutes. She corralled them and had them sit down. I told her I was looking for Haley's aide and she went to look for her.

Meanwhile Haley joined the other kids and started dancing again.

Her aide came up beside me and I told her that I was going home. On my way out the other teacher asked about Haley and I told her that her aide was with her again. As I left I saw the boys with another teacher.

When I got to my car and started to put my stuff in the trunk I heard the assistant principal calling "Are you Haley's mom?"

"Yes." I said.

He asked me how I was feeling and told me that I should go inside and see the school nurse and fill out an accident report.  I just wanted to go home, but I agreed.  The nurse gave me some ice and a list of symptoms I should be aware of.  A hit like that can cause a concussion.

I really didn't feel that bad. My head hurt and I could tell that I would have a headache. I wanted to go home and rest. And I was emotional, but I had been emotional since the beginning of the ceremony.

Those were all symptoms listed on a poster in the health room.

I started crying and I told the nurse that I hoped the boys wouldn't be in too much trouble. I told her I was really angry when it first happened. She said that it was a normal reaction.

As I walked to the car I realized that today my daughter had earned an award for Citizenship and then I demonstrated a huge lack of Citizenship by yelling at her classmates.

I am not happy with myself at all.

What She Said

I got a phone call from Haley's school today.

They said that she wasn't herself.  She was slow to respond when they asked her questions and she was pointing to her head.  After lunch she wanted to lie down rather than go out to play.

I told the nurse that I would come and pick her up.  The description didn't sound that far off from normal to me, but if it seemed odd to them I thought I had better see what was going on.

When I got to the school she was waiting in the lobby with her aide. She stood up and walked straight to me.  Her first word was "Better." She didn't look unusual to me, but I took her home and told her to rest.  I asked her if her head hurt and she pointed to it.  I asked her if she wanted some medicine for it and she said "Yeah."  After she took a pain reliever I told her to take it easy and I made myself some lunch.

She wanted to eat too.

I got her about three separate snacks over a twenty minute period and then I told her that she was done for awhile.

She went upstairs to play.

A little while later she came down and showed me the horse she had in her hand.  As she walked past me I noticed something...

"Whoa, Haley.  Do you need your pants changed?

"Yeah," she said.

"Is that why you wanted to come home?

"Yeah."

I actually think I believe her.

Fly On The Wall

I wish I could go to Haley's school and watch her in action.  I can't, however, if she knows I am there.  It wouldn't be the same.

I imagine a lot of kids are like that.  They have their school persona and their home persona.  I know Haley does.  I would be willing to bet her Big Sis does too.

The notes from the teacher have been interesting this week.  Yesterday it said that Haley and her Miss D played a board game together.  She didn't say which one.  She said that Haley just took her piece all the way around the board on her turn, she didn't count the spaces.  The teacher thought that was funny and said that they will play more board games in the future.

More power to her.

I gave up playing board games with Haley a long time ago.  That probably sounds horrible, but it is the truth.  Haley doesn't have the patience for board games.  Frankly I think she doesn't see the point.  I might try card games in the future, but I am done with board games.

Today her note said that she did a really good job dressing herself for P.E.  That I would love to see.  When I am around she acts like she doesn't have the use of her limbs.  They drop lifelessly to her sides and she sighs heavily.  It is pretty pathetic really.

The note also said that she played Ping Pong in P.E.  I asked her if she hit the ball with the paddle.  She said "Yeah."  Uh, huh.  I would like to see that too.  It's not that I don't believe my daughter, or that I don't believe she could do it.  I just want to see it.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall at Haley's school.

Friday Field Trip

Haley's class sometimes walks to a local grocery store on Fridays to purchase ingredients that they cook with in class.  It is a neat program and they get to eat what they make.

Haley likes the field trip because they stop at a pet store.  She likes to look at the animals.

On Friday when she got off of the bus she told me that she went to the "animal store" and saw "kitties" and "birds."

I have mentioned before that I get a form that comes home with Haley that tells me what went on at school.  Sometimes the form is informative, sometimes it isn't.  I usually don't get one when they go on field trips, I think they have a lot on their plates on those days.  I was pleasantly surprised this Friday.

I thought I would share with you what Haley's teacher wrote:

"Haley enjoyed our field trip today.   She loved looking at the cats.  We have noticed she has been coming out of her shell more.  She will sit at her desk and talk to herself and those around her.  She really loved our cooking lesson and Friday movie - Lady and the Tramp.  She had some beans and a hot dog.  She also helped pick up trash around school grounds as part of service day."

On the chart that ticks off what she did it said; Reading - labels, street signs, Cooking - beans and hot dogs, Math - using money to buy groceries, I chose to - color, PE - played with balls, Field Trip - walked to store.

I love to get that much information.  It gave me something to talk to Haley about.  She was really excited to tell me about her day.

She immediately went to the cupboard and got Lady and the Tramp out and then she wanted a snack.  I guess the beans and hot dog didn't fill her up.

Toy Surprise

So, Haley came home with another toy surprise in her backpack today.  Again, no explanation.

It is a Leap Frog digital watch.  She thinks it is cool, of course, because they gave it to her at school.  I asked her if it was a prize or a treasure.  No answer.  I didn't really expect one.

They sent home the form that they usually send home. 

The note at the bottom of the form said how excited she was to share that she talked to Grandma and Grandpa on the phone last night.  Translation:  She listened to Grandma and Grandpa talk.  She gets to listen on the extension while her Dad talks to his parents.  All three of them ask her questions, but they never get responses.  Sometimes she nods her head or kind of silently giggles, but that is usually it.  I heard that she said "Hi" and "Bye" last night.

The note said that she was very happy today.  That she worked really hard.  That she watched Peter Pan during seventh period and that she enjoyed it.  It didn't say anything about the watch.

Her Dad set the time for her and put it on her wrist.

It will be interesting to see how long this lasts.  I actually have been thinking about getting her an identifying bracelet.  One that says what she cannnot, her name, my name, our phone number, her disability.  I haven't gotten her one yet because I was afraid that she wouldn't wear it.  It wouldn't be as bulky as the watch.

We shall see.

Time to Share

As I was making Haley's lunch this morning she came up to me and said "Grandpa's house tractor ride."  It took me a moment, but then I realized that she was starting to tell me what she did over the vacation so that I could fill out the form that she uses to share her home experiences with her teacher and aides.

I said "Hang on a sec, Haley," and I got her form; I wish I could have recorded what happened next, but it was happening fast and believe me I don't work fast in the morning.

I started to write something about Haley going to her Grandma and Grandpa's house and she just kept talking.

"Open presents, yay, 844. Boat ride. Lunch, yum, good. Heather. Horses, presents."; There was more, but like I said it's morning.

So to translate these are the things that I wrote about on her form:

Haley got to visit her Grandma and Grandpa over the vacation; While we were there she got to ride her Grandpa's John Deere tractor.

Haley is getting really too big to do this. It is kind of sad. Her Grandpa usually sits her in front of him on the seat so that he can operate the tractor. Her legs are so long that it is really difficult for him to do that. No way is she riding that thing solo. After some discussion we decided that next time Grandma is going to ride with her. Haley is actually taller than her Grandma now.

She also got to see Heather, the cow that lives behind Grandma and Grandpa.

Haley just loves seeing that cow. She got to feed her a branch after her ride on the tractor.

Haley also got to ride in a ferry and we had lunch.

We went on a special trip with the express purpose of riding a new ferry. This is quite a story. I will write about it soon.

Haley loved opening presents. She got a new stable for her toy horses, four new horses, Toy Story 3 figurines and some train videos.

You can read about her gifts here.

Haley watched her new UP 844 video.

That is really the only video she has watched since we got home.

Haley went train watching with her Dad.

This is something she does every Sunday and this last Sunday was no exception.

Haley went shopping and bought four new pairs of pants.

This seems like ancient history now, but a couple of days before Christmas I took her shopping. We spent a lot of time in the dressing room trying on many pairs of pants. My assumptions about her size were way off.  I actually bought her pants that were four sizes bigger than I would have guessed.  We got some really good deals.

Haley had honey mustard chicken, rice and veggies.

We always report what she ate the night before.

Haley had a bath.

Those are the things that Haley did on her vacation; those are the things that she wanted me to write on her form. I told her that if she was that excited to tell me all she had to do was go to school and tell her teacher, she really didn't need the form.

I know better.

She will clam up when she gets to school, but hopefully if they read the form back to her they may get one or two words out of her. My guess is that they will be:

"Grandpa."

"Tractor."

"Ride."

A Little Reminder

Last night my husband and I went to two different meetings aimed at providing help for families of special needs children.  The first one was an information fair where I picked up some fliers for different services in our area.  The second one was an informational meeting about navigating the school system.

I found some interesting things at the fair.  My favorite was a girl that teaches Yoga to special needs kids.  She has a background as a special needs teacher and she also teaches Yoga so she decided to join the two.   I think Haley might really like Yoga, she really likes the weight room at school and she loves music.  I am kind of excited to have her try it.  It will be a while before that will happen though, the girl is about to go on maternity leave.

In the second meeting we learned about the transitions that kids with special needs make during their school careers.  Some of this we already knew, Haley has been "in the system" her whole life.  We have not had any problems with IEP's or her schooling, but apparently that is not always the case.  There were some parents in attendance that have had some major questions about their child's education.  It was interesting to hear about special education schooling in a comprehensive way. 

I like to have little refreshers from time to time.  We tend to get into ruts with Haley.  Everything is going along fine, so we don't really question things.  It is nice to stop and think and plan.

I was moved by a film that a parent showed of her son graduating from high school.  His classmates supported him and clapped and yelled as he walked across the stage and got his diploma.  It brought tears to my eyes.

There is a PTA in our area for special needs children.  I went to the very first meeting a long time ago.  I wasn't too interested in it at the time.  I don't really know why, but I think I was not really prepared for my child to grow up and change.  I still am not, but I am starting to realize that it is going to happen whether I am ready for it or not.

I think I am going to get involved with the PTSA and start to learn more about how Haley will become part of the community.  There is even a meeting  for Dad's and I hope that Haley's Dad will get involved too.

Where Did She Get That?

Apparently Haley's stubborn side is showing at school.  I think it is kind of early in the year for that.

I suggested to her new teacher that she use the same form that Haley has used for the last two years.  I explained the form on this post. Those forms let the school know what she does at home and they let me know what is going on at school.  Without them all I would know is that school is fun.

The paper that she brought home tonight said that she was working on a worksheet that called for using a red crayon, but that she refused.  She wanted to use a green crayon.  She did not want to use red.  They were able to finally get her to use red, but I can imagine that they really had to work with her.  I know she can be very stubborn.

I wonder where she got that.