A Little Affection

Every morning when I put Haley on the bus she buckles herself in, I give her a kiss and tell her to Have a nice day!  Then I step off of the bus turn around and wave goodbye.

Over the years this routine has changed very little.

It took her awhile to be able to buckle herself in, but what I do has always been the same.

Some of her bus drivers encouraged Haley to wave back at me or to say Bye Mom.  She did wave back when she was really little, but she hasn't done that for years.  That doesn't change my routine.

I was a little hurt when she stopped waving back.  I am a little sad that she doesn't say anything to me.  I would really like it if she did both of those things, but what I have noticed lately is that she seems to really like it that I do what I do.

My child does not complain when I give her a kiss.  I know that is not normal behavior for a fifteen year old.  This is one instance where I am happy that she is not "normal."  She also has gotten really good at giving me hugs and acquiescing whenever I want to give her one, but that doesn't happen on the bus.  She doesn't smile either.  She just accepts it.

What I have noticed is that as I step off of the bus and turn around she is looking.  She watches to see that I am going to wave.  Again, she doesn't smile, but she watches.  I noticed that this morning.  She has a substitute bus driver this week and when she has a sub she tends to be a little on edge.  I can sense that she knows things are amiss.  So she was watching for me to turn and smile and wave.  And I did.  And she kind of nodded.  She didn't smile.  Somehow I just knew that she acknowledged me and it felt good.

So, today I am grateful that I can still show my teenage daughter affection in public and that she seems to be glad that I do.

~Haley's Mom, Thankfully

This month I am focusing on Gratitude.  What are you thankful for today?

This is Challenging

I have taken on the challenge of 31 posts in October, which has 31 days.  That means a post each day.

It really is challenging.

Life is busy and complicated around here.  I know full well that we are not the busiest people in the world, but for me we are plenty busy.  It is not even so much what we are doing on a daily basis, it is that each one of the four people in this house has their own busy-ness.

I have a list that just seems to be getting longer of things that I need to do.  I have my job and my volunteer work.  I have the house to take care of, which means cleaning, planning, shopping and cooking.  There are even some things that I want to do, like go Fall school shopping with each of my daughters, read, knit and watch some of the shows that are filling up my DVR.

Haley's Dad works from home so he is busy all day and then he has a set list of chores that he does.  He rarely wavers from that list.  He also is planning for an event that is coming up.  He is in charge of a large part of it so he is busy with that.

Haley's Big Sis is a Senior in High School.  That, I am learning, is a job in itself.  She has Grad Night stuff.  She is choosing colleges that we will soon visit.  She is planning to play Basketball again this year so she is training for that.  And she has her classes that have homework and projects, so we need to go shopping for materials.

Haley is no exception.

When she gets home from school she has a routine that she follows.  It is one that she has made up for herself that she does not like to waver from.  I seem to be a big part of that routine.

She gets all out of sorts if I am not the one that gets her off of the bus.  I have been out running around a lot this week and my husband has been home for Haley when school is over.  I have not been home when Haley gets home at all this week.  I told him that I might be late again.  He said it would be fine, but he added that Haley wouldn't like it.  

I said "Really?  What does she say?"

"Oh, she doesn't say anything." he said.  "I can just tell that she doesn't like it."

I have an idea why.

When Haley wants something she knows that I will do it for her.  She likes to have drinks and snacks and she wants to watch DVD's.  I bet she has to work a little harder to get her Dad to do the same things for her.

So it seems like there have been a lot of things happening at our house all week at the same time.  It has felt a little crazy.  So it has been a challenge for me to have time to sit down and write a blog post.  If you have noticed, I have been posting quite late at night.  

That seems to be the only time that I can sit down and collect my thoughts.

I actually really like being challenged like this.  I think it is stretching my creativity.  I just need to work on planning a little better so I don't feel rushed at the end of the day.  Maybe by the end of the month I will have figured out how to do that.

In the meantime I hope you are enjoying the consistency of a post a day and I hope I can keep it up.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Stay Home

I don't think Haley likes school any more.

She has always loved school.  She has always been excited to go to school.  She used to ask me "School tomorrow?" and I would say "Yes."  and she would say "Yay!"

Now she just says "Stay home tomorrow?"

I say "No.  You have school tomorrow."

She says "Stay home."

It is not that she doesn't feel well.  This has been going on since the first week of school.

School started on a Wednesday.  That Friday she said "Stay home?" and I told her that there was no school the next day, because it was Saturday.  That made her happy.  I thought it was just because she wasn't used to the routine and she was happy to go back to her summer mode.

The next week she made it to Wednesday and she wanted to know if she could stay home.  I told her that she had two more days of school and then she could stay home on Saturday.  She said "Yay!  Saturday!"

It is the same every week.  She can't seem to make it through a week without asking me if she can stay home.  I don't know why.  When I ask her how school was she always says "fun."  If I ask her if school was fun or if she had a good day at school she always says "Yeah."

Again today she said "Stay home tomorrow."

I said "No. You have school tomorrow. Today is Wednesday. You have school Thursday and Friday and then you can stay home on Saturday."

She said "Yay!  Saturday!  Stay home."

I actually think that she really likes the routine that she had over the summer.  I think she likes doing her own thing.  I think she liked not having a set routine.  I hope that is it.

I hope everything is OK at school.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Thrown Off

I hate early release days.

The schools in this area have early release days around the trimester change.  They are getting ready for teacher conferences.  The kids get out of school two hours early.  I imagine that each class time is reduced.  Lunch is probably at the wrong time too.

That happened yesterday.

Haley got off the bus.  She started her normal after school routine, including wanting a snack.  I was thinking to myself that she just ate lunch, but I thought a little snack wouldn't hurt her.  Then she wanted another one.  And then another one.  I opened her lunch box.  Sure enough it was empty.  I really don't know where she puts it all.

Her Big Sis had plans to make a lemon meringue pie when she got home from school.  She started on it right away.

Then things started to unravel.

As I sit here I don't remember what set her off, but she was off. Everything made her mad.  She was practically bristling.  I realized that I needed to go to the store for a few things.  I looked at her sister and realized that with what she was doing there was no way that I could leave Haley with her in that state. 

I asked Haley if she wanted to go to the store with me.  She said "Yeah."  And than she said "Bucks" which means Starbucks.  Haley and her sister have started walking to Starbucks for drinks.  Haley likes that.  Whenever we say store now that equates with Starbucks.  It used to mean The Mall to her.  I don't know which is worse.

I said "No Haley, we are not going to that store."

That set her off again.  I told her I needed to go upstairs for a few minutes and then we would go.  She started following me.  Screaming. Her Dad was upstairs working.  I could tell he was on the phone.  I quickly stopped her and pushed her back in to the kitchen, I could hear her Dad close the door to his office.  I knew if Haley ramped up a closed door would not be enough.  I tried to calm her down.  I asked her if she wanted to go with me again.  She said she did.  I sat her down on the couch and told her to pet her cat for a few minutes.  Her sister came over and started talking to her and petting the cat.

I ran upstairs and got ready.  When I came down we got her shoes on and left.

She was fine on the ride over and she was pretty good in the store. She likes to help me push the cart.  As we were leaving I could feel her getting a little upset.  I think she realized that she hadn't gotten anything. 

We got in the car and she rolled down the window.  I looked over my shoulder just as she stuck both of her hands out the window.  I told her to roll it back up again and then I locked it.  Then she proceeded to bang on the glass and scream.  I tried to talk to her.  To redirect - as we say - I asked her how she felt.  I asked her if something hurt.  I could see in the rear view mirror that she touched her head.  (Yeah, I was getting a headache too!)  I told her we would go home and have some medicine and relax on the couch.  I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie.  

She said "Yeah." 

"What movie do you want to watch?"  

"Cars."  

"OK, we will go home and watch Cars."  

That worked.

When we got home we both had a pain reliever and sat down on the couch.  After a while I think we both felt better.

I can't say with complete certainty that the change in her schedule caused all of that, but I have a strong suspicion that it did.  It has happened before.  She does better with a schedule.  She thrives on a schedule.  You mess up her schedule and this is what you get.

Well, it is what I get.

I hate early release days.

How Do You Feel?

School started.  Leaves fell.  The weather turned.  Rain started falling. 

Germs entered our house.

All four of us have been sick.  Ill.  Slight sore throats, runny stuffy noses, general malaise... just not right.

Not all at once mind you.  One after another. 

A constant run-on sentence of discontent.  I am so over it!

Anyway, as the weather changes our needs change.  The clothes we wear have more;  longer pant legs, longer sleeves, thicker fabric and layers.  For some of us that transition comes naturally. 

Some of us need a little help.

Haley doesn't seem to know how she feels.  She has a high tolerance for pain, we have known that for a long time.  We found out the hard way.  Apparently she also has a high tolerance for discomfort.  Remember when your Mom would say "Put a sweater on, I'm cold." 

It is just like that.  If I am cold I assume she is and I dress her accordingly.

She wore sandals all summer.  She didn't wear socks.  Most of the time she wore shorts, but even when she wore long pants she didn't wear socks.  So lately she is running around the house without socks and I am cold. 

So I say "Haley, do you want some socks on?"

"Yeah."

So I put socks on her.  Otherwise she would have gone without socks all day.  If I am cold I put a sweater on her.  Most of the time she leaves it on.  Sometimes she takes it off.  There are times when she has gotten a sweater or jacket out of her drawer and put it on by herself, or asked for help with it.

I assume she feels cool, but maybe she just likes the sweater.

Last night Haley's pull-up leaked.  Her pants were a little wet.  I looked at the clock and realized that it was pretty close to her bed time.  Her Big Sis runs around the house all of the time in pajama bottoms and so do I on occasion (especially when I am sick.)  I thought they would be easier for her to put on than pants, so I told her to go upstairs and put on pajama bottoms.

She did that, but there were some other changes too.  Haley is a creature of habit.  Some processes don't change.  So in her mind if she was putting on pajamas other things had to happen.

She had taken off her glasses and her socks.

She does that before she goes to bed.  When pajamas go on glasses come off.  She will not wear socks to bed, so the socks came off too. It didn't matter that she would be up another hour or so. 

That is just the way it is.

So there she is without socks again.  And I am freezing...

What are we saving?

Haley does not do well with the time change, called Daylight Saving Time.  She is maturing though, she wasn't quite as bad this year as she has been in the past. 

When she was little it meant weeks of screaming and crying at bedtime.  It meant she wouldn't sleep through the night.  It meant I didn't get enough sleep and therefore was not equipped to deal properly with my unhappy child.

Routine is very important for Haley.  I always put her to bed at 9:00 pm - always - not only for her sake, but for my own as well.  Several times this spring when we were walking up the stairs to her bedroom she would point out the window.  Sometimes she does this and says "Dark. Night."  I always assumes that means that she is agreeing with me.  Yes, I am going to bed now because it is dark. 

She didn't say "Dark. Night."  She just pointed out the window.  I said something benign like "It was a nice day today wasn't it?", or "Do you see the pretty trees?" 

After about the third day I realized she was pointing out the window because she was probably thinking to herself, Why am I going to bed it is not even dark yet?

Morning is worse though. 

Haley is up at the crack of dawn.  Literally.  When the light comes in her window she is up.  For a while there that meant 4:30 am.  It was driving me crazy.  I remembered a curtain panel that I had bought, but never used one night and hooked it to her curtains with clothes pins. 

We magically got two extra hours of sleep that night. 

The curtain also helps her to go to bed at night.  When I close her bedroom door it is actually very dark in her room.  She is no longer getting up and coming back downstairs. Now I just need to bite the bullet and buy some actual room darkening shades.

I now know that they will be worth it.

Kleenex

Haley's Dad here. As Haley's Mom mentioned she is off visiting our newly arrived niece so I have the pleasure of holding down the fort at home. You'll hear from me a few times over the next few weeks as I keep things humming along.

Before Haley's Mom left we went over things that I don't deal with as much as she does. I'm familiar with the afternoon routine as I often will take care of that side of things if Haley's Mom is busy. The morning routine I'm not as familiar with as I'm generally in my office hard at work while most of it takes place. I had to get the run down on timing, numbers of bowls of cereal, bus arrival, hair, and many other things.

Our first morning went well. We were right on time and I was busy with assembling Haley's lunch. The next thing I know Haley hops up from breakfast and walks over to the side board behind the kitchen table. What could she be doing? Did she leave a horse over there? I'm not used to her visiting that part of the house by herself.

Haley proceeded to open one of the drawers and pull out a Kleenex. She wadded it a bit and put it up to her nose and blew. I stood there with my jaw on the floor. I've never seen her blow her nose unless she is prompted (i.e. during colds when we hand it to her). She continued to blow until all of the overnight crud was out.

I thought, wow, how cool! Great, she knows how to blow her nose! I'm impressed!

Then she promptly tossed the used Kleenex on the floor.

Sigh.

The second day went much better with the Kleenex. She again retrieved her Kleenex but this time headed for the living room where she sat on the couch. She blew her nose and carefully set the Kleenex on the table. Improvement!

Maybe tomorrow we'll work on getting the Kleenex all the way to the garbage can.

Time to Share

As I was making Haley's lunch this morning she came up to me and said "Grandpa's house tractor ride."  It took me a moment, but then I realized that she was starting to tell me what she did over the vacation so that I could fill out the form that she uses to share her home experiences with her teacher and aides.

I said "Hang on a sec, Haley," and I got her form; I wish I could have recorded what happened next, but it was happening fast and believe me I don't work fast in the morning.

I started to write something about Haley going to her Grandma and Grandpa's house and she just kept talking.

"Open presents, yay, 844. Boat ride. Lunch, yum, good. Heather. Horses, presents."; There was more, but like I said it's morning.

So to translate these are the things that I wrote about on her form:

Haley got to visit her Grandma and Grandpa over the vacation; While we were there she got to ride her Grandpa's John Deere tractor.

Haley is getting really too big to do this. It is kind of sad. Her Grandpa usually sits her in front of him on the seat so that he can operate the tractor. Her legs are so long that it is really difficult for him to do that. No way is she riding that thing solo. After some discussion we decided that next time Grandma is going to ride with her. Haley is actually taller than her Grandma now.

She also got to see Heather, the cow that lives behind Grandma and Grandpa.

Haley just loves seeing that cow. She got to feed her a branch after her ride on the tractor.

Haley also got to ride in a ferry and we had lunch.

We went on a special trip with the express purpose of riding a new ferry. This is quite a story. I will write about it soon.

Haley loved opening presents. She got a new stable for her toy horses, four new horses, Toy Story 3 figurines and some train videos.

You can read about her gifts here.

Haley watched her new UP 844 video.

That is really the only video she has watched since we got home.

Haley went train watching with her Dad.

This is something she does every Sunday and this last Sunday was no exception.

Haley went shopping and bought four new pairs of pants.

This seems like ancient history now, but a couple of days before Christmas I took her shopping. We spent a lot of time in the dressing room trying on many pairs of pants. My assumptions about her size were way off.  I actually bought her pants that were four sizes bigger than I would have guessed.  We got some really good deals.

Haley had honey mustard chicken, rice and veggies.

We always report what she ate the night before.

Haley had a bath.

Those are the things that Haley did on her vacation; those are the things that she wanted me to write on her form. I told her that if she was that excited to tell me all she had to do was go to school and tell her teacher, she really didn't need the form.

I know better.

She will clam up when she gets to school, but hopefully if they read the form back to her they may get one or two words out of her. My guess is that they will be:

"Grandpa."

"Tractor."

"Ride."

A Time to Every Purpose

Last night I went out with four of my girlfriends.  We talked candidly about ourselves and our families.  We laughed a lot.  I had a wonderful time.  It was a well timed diversion.

I was out rather late and when I got home I watched television (Hulu) for a while before I went to bed.  Haley woke me up twice in the night to be changed and tucked back in bed.  So I was tired this morning and I slept in.

Apparently nothing happens around here without me. 

Haley needed to be changed again when I woke up and she hadn't eaten breakfast.  She came downstairs with me like she usually does in the morning and we had breakfast.  Her Dad came in from the garage and started getting his lunch ready, because he had been up since morning and was on his normal routine. 

Haley got up from the table and opened the freezer.  She decided that she needed lunch too, never mind that there was still cereal in her bowl.

I tried to explain to her that she was eating breakfast and that she didn't need to eat lunch, just because her Dad was eating lunch, but it didn't matter to her.  I offered her some of the grape salad that I had left over from a potluck that I attended last week.  That sounded good to her, so she ate it.

I took a shower and got dressed and then sat down at the computer and she brought me a package of pasta.  I went through the whole spiel again about how she didn't need to eat lunch, but she wouldn't quit.  I reheated some pasta and sauce that I found in the refrigerator and set her up at the table again. 

I don't know what I would do without a microwave!

She seems to be satisfied, for now.

She Can't Spit

File this under Mommy mistakes:

Haley can't spit.

Well, not yet anyway.

I didn't think she would be able to walk, or jump or run either.  She has proven to me that she can, so I am sure she will figure out spitting pretty soon too.

I tried to teach her how to spit after I brushed her teeth a long time ago.  She couldn't do it.  She would lean over the sink and open her mouth, but she had already swallowed so nothing came out.  I tried several times to get her to do it, but it made her mad.  She would just grunt at me and walk out of the bathroom.  So I gave up.

I don't use very much toothpaste on her brush and I just hoped that whatever amount of toothpaste that she ingested wouldn't be enough to hurt her.

Lately Haley seems to be learning at an alarming rate.  I thought maybe it was time to try again.

A couple of days ago after I brushed her teeth I said "Watch Mommy." and I put some water in my mouth and immediately bent over the sink and opened my mouth so that all of the water came back out again.  I asked her to try it.  She did it.  I almost couldn't believe it.

The next time I brushed her teeth I showed her how to slosh it around in her mouth before she leaned over the sink.  She thought that was hilarious, but when she tried it she swallowed right away and there wasn't any water in her mouth to slosh around.  I tried to get her to do it again, but she was done and out the door.

The next time I brushed her teeth I showed her the same thing.  This time she got some sloshing done, but then swallowed twice and there wasn't any water to spit out.

I just happened to be out of the house for a couple of mornings and evenings.  This morning I tried it again.  She did really well.  There really wasn't any sloshing, but she did lean over and spit out some water.  I praised her and made a big deal out of it.  Her Dad came in to the bathroom and said she had been doing a really good job for him.

So many times Haley is held back by my inability to teach her something.  Whether it is because I don't know how to teach her or it never occurs to me that she should be able to do something on her own.  I am so thankful for the people in her life, like her teachers and her aides.  They don't second guess her, they just show her how to do something.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. 

And sometimes we just need to try again later.

My Little Helper

I have been a bit distracted lately.  I have a lot on my mind.  I really love that when I get like this I have someone around that helps me get through it.  Haley was on the ball this morning.

When it came time for me to make Haley's lunch she started pulling things out of the cupboard and the refrigerator, I had to ask her a few questions but for the most part she basically told me what to pack in her lunch. When I was done making her lunch she anticipated my next move which was to fill out her paper.

Every day before school I fill out a form that lets Haley's teacher and aide know what she has done the night or weekend before.  I explained this paper in the post A little window into her school day.  I got the paper out and she started telling me what to write.  She said "Trains. Dad."  Which meant that she went train watching with Dad on Sunday.  Then she said "Depot." which meant that she and Dad went to Home Depot on Saturday.  She loves going to Home Depot. 

I started to write the movies that she had watched and she pointed to the right section and said "Future. El Dorado."  Which meant that she watched Back to the Future and The Road to El Dorado.  For the record we were on our seventh day of watching Back to The Future.  She usually chooses the third film because it has a train and horses in it, but since it was a three day weekend we had convinced her to watch the first and the second films a couple of times as well.  By Monday Big Sis had to intervene and Haley ended up choosing some new movies.

At this point I said "What did we have for dinner last night?  I cooked it so I should remember it." I often talk to myself.  Haley was standing there though so I guess she assumed I was talking to her.  She said "Chicken."  Oh that's right it was chicken.  Really I don't know what I would have done without her. 

I picked up her lunch and her paper and headed for the closet to get her backpack and she came up behind me with her Friday folder.  This is a folder that the school sends home with her every Friday with all of her papers from the week and any correspondence from the school that they need  us to have.  We are supposed to send the folder back on Monday.  I am here to tell you that that would not have happened today if Haley hadn't brought it to me.

I started to wonder if maybe she should stay home and help me with the rest of my day, but in all honesty I think what I really needed was some quiet time to myself.  After all it was a three day weekend.

Videos

Haley loves to watch videos.  Since she was very small she has loved them.  She never got into television.

When Haley was quite young she would play with the video cases.  She liked to pull the cases off of the shelf on to the floor.  I think she was looking at them as she did this, I hope she was not just making a mess for the fun of it.  She could also put her own video cassettes into the player and they would play, so that was a fun game.  She would put one in, watch it, take it out, stack it on the last one and put in another one.  We would have stacks about two feet high around the TV.

DVD's are trickier.  I put those in for her.  She likes the fact that they have "extra stuff" though.  My daughter likes the extra stuff.  She will bring me a DVD and say "Stuff" she will then sit and watch people talk about the movie, how it was made, the actors, how the music was written and all the other things that go into making a movie.  She loves the stuff.

Sometimes she just says "Show." I can then hit play on whatever happens to be in the machine. We can have the same video in that machine for days at a time. Haley will watch a video and when it is over she says "Again." I either rewind a tape or hit menu on a DVD and start it over again. Haley will watch a video like this many times. I know toddlers do this. Haley is twelve. That is a lot of years watching the same shows over and over. I decided a long time ago that one of the reasons she does this is because she likes to know what comes next.  It is how she can bring order to her own world.

Life is unpredictable to a child like Haley. Things can happen around her too quickly. She gets disoriented and upset by the chaos of life. Too much stimulation can bring on the MELTDOWN. She doesn't like crowds, loud noises (like big barking dogs) or flashing lights. We can't take her to a movie theater.  We just wait for the video.

She loves to watch a video over and over because she has seen it so many times she knows what comes next. It is routine. She does have her favorites; The Lion King, The Road to El Dorado, Spirit Stallion of the Cimmaron, 101 Dalmatians (all versions) and Finding Nemo are at the top. Consequently Big Sis and I have these movies memorized. We can quote them, we can sing along, we can tell you what scene is next. Haley can too. Haley loves it when I say a line in a movie just before it happens or at exactly the same time. We get the giggles from that. Well, she gets the giggles from that and then I get the giggles from her giggles.

Haley also likes videos about trains. 

What you may not realize is that there are videos about trains.  There are videos about certain engines, about certain lines, about certain trips, about how to repair engines, about the people who work on them, about engineers, about how to right one after it derails, it goes on and on.  Haley loves them all.  This started at an early age as well.  Her father likes trains, and so does her grandfather.  I could understand if she liked to watch the train go by on the screen, but that is not all there is to it.  The first time she saw a video we have about one of her favorite engines I thought that she would lose interest soon.  Not so.  She loved it.  This is a video of people talking about the engine, "talking heads" as they say.  She was enthralled.  I was amazed.

So not only am I now fluent in all things Disney, Pixar and Dreamworks I also know more about trains than I ever thought I would, or ever really cared to.

Routines

I believe that every child benefits from a routine.  We learned that with our first daughter.  Routine is especially important for Haley.  Haley does best when she knows what to expect.

MORNING

I try my best to follow the same routine with Haley every morning, sometimes I don't.  I am human you know.

Sometimes she wakes up on her own and sits down at the computer, sometimes I wake her up.  I like it when I get to wake her up.  Haley wakes up immediately and completely when I say "Haley.  It's time to wake up."  I say it fairly quietly and kind of in a sing song way and she opens her eyes, yawns, stretches and gets up.  Talk about instant gratification. 

This is in complete contrast to waking her Big Sister up, for that I need a bullhorn, a crowbar and a wrecking ball. 

Another reason I like to wake Haley up is because when she stands up I get a hug.  I love hugs. 

Then we go downstairs.  Haley usually chooses a video to watch and then she chooses what she wants to eat for breakfast.  She likes to watch a video while she eats her breakfast.  I read the paper while I eat mine.  Haley will sometimes read one of her magazines or look at the JCPenney's ads from the paper.  She multi-tasks. 

After we eat our breakfast we make her lunch, get her dressed, comb her hair and brush her teeth.  She usually has a few minutes to do what she wants after that; she will use the computer or watch some more of her show.  Then we put on her shoes and her coat, grab her backpack and CD and when the bus pulls up we head out the door.

I leave it up to her teachers at school, I know they are all about structure.

AFTER SCHOOL

When Haley gets home we take off her shoes, she takes off her jacket, we head to the bathroom and take care of business in there (we always wash our hands).  Haley has picked up my need to wash my hands as soon as I get home, I can't do anything until I do.  Then we check her backpack.  She shares any artwork that she has brought home and then she is on her own.  After all day at school I figure she needs some down time.

NIGHT TIME

Our night time routine starts with pajamas, then we brush her teeth and she gets in bed.  She has to have her Daylight pillow to her left (see the note about her favorite engines at the right hand side of this site)  and her horse pillow on her right.  She gets a kiss from Horse (a Webkins horse I brought her from Texas.)   She is very insistent about those three things.

Then I say "I" she says "I", I say "love" she says "love", I say "you" and she says "you" and then in the same manner I say "See.  You.  Tomorrow." and she repeats.  I started this a couple of years ago in the hopes that some day she will say it on her own.  Every once in a while I get a version of it.  Usually if the mood strikes her to say "I love you" it just comes out "I you."  She has said this enough times that we know that she means I love you when she says it.  Sometimes she will repeat after me so quickly we almost say it at the same time.  I am still waiting for her to say it to me first.

That right there is another reason that I think routines are important.  If we do our routines enough maybe they will become so routine that she won't need me to tell her to do them.  Is that too much to expect?