Thank You

The Confirmation ceremony at our church Sunday was lovely.

The other young lady gave her speech, and did a wonderful job, and then both of our families went up to the altar.  The only answer Haley had to give was "yes."  She was a bit apprehensive about kneeling on the kneeler.  We hadn't practiced that, but she did it.

After church Haley got a card from a member of the congregation.  We had to stop right there and open the card and read it to her, she loved it.

Several people congratulated her.

I told her that she could say "Thank you."

She sheepishly said it, it sounded like "kew."

There was a Harvest Party right after church.  Everyone that came in to the party saw Haley and said something to her, either "Congratulations" or "there's the woman of the day."  Things like that. 

Each time someone acknowledged her she seemed to get more comfortable, and she would say Thank You just a little louder. 

We had a lot of fun at the Harvest party. There were games and a "hay ride" which was two kids in a wagon behind a four-wheeler.  Haley seemed really interested in that, but when we got down close to it she just shook her head "no."  I tried several times and I told her that the four-wheeler would go really slow if she wanted it to, but she refused.  She giggled every time it went by and pointed and called it a car, but she would not ride behind it.

The family that hosted the Harvest Party had set up a photo area with hay bales and pitch forks and apples and straw hat.  Each family had their picture taken and all of the kids got together for some pictures. It was a lot of fun.

As the party was winding down the Mom of other young lady that was confirmed congratulated Haley and Haley said "Thank You," loud and clear.  I was pleasantly surprised.

I think that we had spent enough time with this family that Haley was really becoming familiar with them.  I think she also had finally gotten comfortable with being the center of attention. 

It was her day, and she knew it.



~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Excuse You

You know when someone makes an "unexpected personal noise" and they don't say excuse me.  In my family we would say "EXCUSE YOU!"

I have been doing that lately when Haley makes her personal noises.

She used to be really good about saying Excuse Me, but she is not saying it as readily lately.  So I say "excuse you."  

Then she says "Excuse You."

She has always sort of had a problem with repeating what we want her to say.  

I mean she is literal.

So the other day I heard Haley burp (a real one) and then she said in her most sarcastic tone "EXCUSE YOU!"

I guess I need to cool it on the sarcasm.

Ironically as I sit here typing this she walked up behind me and burped (not a real one) and said "Excuse me.  Excuse you.  Excuse me.  Excuse me."

I think I have confused her completely.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Ready for School

Summer is almost over.  School starts tomorrow.  I don't know if Haley is ready.

I think we are ready.  I have made sure that I have all of the things I need to make Haley's lunch.  The bus driver has called and let us know what time to expect the bus.  Haley has a new haircut and her nails have a fresh coat of Tree Farm Green.  I bought an extra package of Depends and a new wipe dispenser for the classroom.  Haley has plenty of clothes, so that is not a problem.

The problem is that I think we are really used to our current routine.

Haley really likes to get up first and dress herself.  She likes to spend the morning on her laptop.  She likes that I have been making her gluten-free pancakes for breakfast. 

I ask her if she is ready for school. 

She doesn't answer.

Usually any and all questions get "yeah" for an answer, whether it is an appropriate answer for the question or not.  This question does not get a "yeah."

The bus is coming.

I will set my alarm so that I will be up.  Haley will already be up.  Then I will have to direct her morning.  I will have to rush something that usually takes anywhere up to three hours into less than an hour.  I am not getting up any earlier than that. 

She will be getting on that bus in the morning.

John Deere Green

I painted Haley's nails before we went to Disneyland.  They were looking really good.  It had been awhile since I had painted them and I was impressed to find them grown out past the ends of her fingers.

When we got back from Disneyland that was no longer the case.

I looked at them a couple of days after we got home and was very disappointed to see that she had been chewing on them again.  The cuticles were red and ragged.  I said "Haley you need your nails fixed."  She left the room.

Pretty soon she came back with a bottle of fingernail polish.  She held it out to me and said "Tree Farm."  The polish was green.  I laughed.

"Is that Tree Farm green?" I asked.

She said "Yeah."

I actually think that she meant that she wanted her nails painted in preparation of our tree farm camping trip, but it worked.  The color was actually called "Green Tea" but it looked more like John Deere Green to me, which is appropriate, because when we are at the tree farm Haley will get to ride Grandpa's tractor.

She knows that is the case now, for sure.  She talked to Grandma and Grandpa on the phone the other night and they told her that she would be able to ride the tractor on the tree farm.

So here are Haley's Tree Farm/John Deere Green nails.

Just Too Much

Haley was really letting us know how she felt.  She told me she was done when she had stood still waiting for fireworks for twenty minutes after being up for eighteen hours with only a two hour nap.  She told me she was tired over and over again.  She knew when she wanted to stop.  She knew when she needed to rest.  

She was the most sensible of us all.

On the third day of our vacation our family went out for breakfast at the Storyteller Cafe in the Grand Californian Hotel and Spa.  It was really a wonderful meal.  Afterward I texted my brother to find our where his family was.  They were already in the park, just about to get on a ride.  Haley wanted to go back to the hotel room after breakfast.  I told her that we were going to go back to Disneyland.  She started getting upset.  Her Big Sis told her that we might see Winnie the Pooh.  That got her attention.

When we entered the park Haley wanted to ride the Disneyland Railroad again.  We got off of the train at the New Orleans Square and headed straight for The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.  After that we had to hit the shop outside the ride,  Haley just could not pass up a chance to shop.

My Mom really wanted to go for a ride on the sternwheeler The Mark Twain Riverboat so we headed to Frontierland.  My brother and his family weren't there yet so we decided to raft over to Tom Sawyer Island.  Haley did not the like raft.  She did not like the island either.  She was really not liking much anymore.  To her credit the island was dusty and hot and really the only things to do were go in to caves, walk across rickety bridges or climb stairs.  Those are things that Haley does not like, not to mention the idea of getting on a raft to get there and back.  She was not having fun.

Finally my brother and his family were getting close so we got in line for the sternwheeler.  Once we were on the boat Haley and her Big Sis found a place to sit and that is where they stayed for the entire ride.  Since we were so close we all decided that it would be fun to do the Pirates of the Caribbean ride again.  It was just as much fun as the first time.  

Haley's Big Sis had made it her mission to meet Merida from Brave so we split up again.  My husband went with my brother and his family and Haley, Big Sis, my Mom and I headed for Fantasyland.  We made a plan to meet at Mickey's Toontown at 2:00 pm.  Since we were in Fantasyland Haley got to ride the carrousel again and then we went on Pinocchio's Daring Journey.  Haley's Big Sis was still in line and my Mom was hungry so we decided to get a snack and sit down for a while.  We decided to eat at the Troubador Tavern which is just outside the Princess Fantasy Faire, it was still really hot where we chose to sit.  When Haley's Big Sis found us it was time to meet the rest of my family at Toontown.

When we went in to Mickey's Toontown we were all tired and hot.  It seemed to just get hotter as we walked around.  My niece and nephew found a roller coaster and Haley's Big Sis went with them.  We asked Haley if she wanted to ride on the roller coaster.  She shook her head "no."  We asked her if she wanted to sit down, she shook her head "no."  We asked her if she was having fun, she shook her head "no."  I looked at my Mom, "Is it time to go back to the hotel?"  Haley said "Yeah!" and started walking.  

My Mom, my husband and I followed her.  When I caught up to her she said "All done!"  She was so excited.  I knew that she meant it.  My brother and the rest of the family were going to meet us at the hotel when the kids got off of the roller coaster.  My husband had an appointment to get a rental car and my brother was going to take him to the airport so it was a good time to stop for the afternoon.

We caught a ride on the Disneyland Railroad one more time and headed back to the hotel.

Everyone took a nap, but my niece and I, neither one of us can sleep in the daytime. After a couple of hours I woke everyone up and we went to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner.  We thought it would be a nice change of pace for all of us to eat a nice meal together.  It was nice for a while, but I could tell that even with a nap Haley was done.  I called my Mom over and asked her if she really had her heart set on going back to the park.  She told me that she wanted to ride a few more rides, but asked me why I was asking.  I told her that I really couldn't see Haley going back to the park.  I think that she had been having fun, but she was just at her limit.  

Mom agreed to stay at the hotel with Haley.  

It turned out the be the best thing.  When I told Haley she was going back to the hotel she seemed so relieved.  As soon as they were back in the room Haley laid down on the couch.  She wasn't there for very long when she started to fall asleep.  My Mom asked her if she wanted to get her pajamas on and get in bed.  She jumped up and said "Yeah."  

So for the first time in three nights she was in bed by 9:00 pm like she is used to.

Got Words

If you have been reading this blog for a while you know the mystery that is the Magic White Board.  You probably also know about the wonderful notebook that Haley received from our neighbor for Christmas. 

The notebook has become the traveling Magic Notebook.

Haley loves her notebook.  It goes everywhere with her.  Except school.  Otherwise, everywhere.

Haley loves to write in her notebook and draw in her notebook. 

She has started drawing faces in her notebook, which I particularly love.

She really likes me to write in her notebook.

She brings it to me and dictates.  I write what she tells me.  She usually dictates one word at a time, thinking about each word.  At the beginning of this process I spelled the words out loud as I wrote them.  I thought that maybe she could learn to spell that way.  She seemed to like it a first, but then she got impatient with me and just wanted me to write the words.  Sometimes the words become little sentences.  I have started to encourage that.
 
Sometimes when she gets quiet and I go to check on her I find her tracing her words.

She also likes to circle them.

She brings the notebook to church and writes in it during Confirmation class.  Sometimes I cheat and add words that she didn't dictate.   Words like Jesus and Baptism and Sacrament.  Pastor always give the kids paper and pencils and encourages them to doodle or take notes during class.  Haley does that too, but she also uses her notebook.  I think it helps her to focus and listen.  I hope.

Sometimes she brings the book to me, but she doesn't want me to write anything.  She just wants to talk about the words on the page.  I usually make her read the words to me.

I am sure you have noticed a theme.  A few words that are repeated.  Words like tree farm, Grandpa, Grandma, tractor ride, tent, trees, fire.  Haley still wants to go camping at the tree farm.  She brings me the notebook on a fairly regular basis and starts a new page.  The words vary little. 

It is her way of telling me what she wants.

Attention

When Haley wants me I want her to say "Mom."  I really do.

I ask her to do that.  I talk to her about it.  I even ask her to repeat after me "Mom."

She won't do it.

In her entire life I only remember her doing it once.

She does know how to get my Attention though.

She does it by making sounds.  Sounds that annoy me.  I have to answer those sounds.  Occasionally my husband, in his most helpful way, tells me to ignore them, but I can't. 

I just can't.

The sounds that she makes are sometimes whiny, sometimes frustrated, sometimes pathetic, sometimes insistent, almost always incessant.  I just can tell that she needs something.  That she needs help.  That she needs me.

I know that because if she were to ask for help, she wouldn't ask her Dad or her Big Sis.  She would ask me.  But, she doesn't ask me.  She just knows that I am the one that will respond.  It is kind of a vicious cycle.

There are other ways she gets my Attention.

She sometimes brings me things.  Things that she wants that she can't quite do for herself.  She is trying to be helpful.

I have been making her cocoa using Nestle's Quik and Rice Milk.  The other day we ran out of Quik.  She knew that.  She went to the cupboard and brought me a box of Keurig coffee cups.  I just smiled at her.  She said "I want coffee please."  

Well, that is one solution.

Sometimes she just wants my Attention, just because.  She likes to show me the things she finds on the computer.  Sometimes it is something on the internet, sometimes it is a picture from our own files.

The other morning we were sitting at the kitchen table.  We had both finished our breakfast.  I was reading the paper and drinking my coffee and she was on her laptop.  I must have been engrossed in what I was reading because she was getting impatient with me. 

It would seem that she had been trying to get my Attention to know avail. 

She snapped her fingers at me. 

I immediately looked right at her.  She then pointed at the screen. 

That is her go to gesture now.  If I don't respond right away she snaps her fingers at me. 

Today she did it every time she wanted to show me something.

Again I asked her to just say "Mom."

I wonder if she ever will.

You Are Correct!

So, all week long when Haley gets home she says "School tomorrow?"

And I answer "Yes, there is school tomorrow."

Then she says "Stay home."

I say "You can stay home on Saturday."

She says "Sunday."

I say "Well, yes, you will stay home on Sunday too."

"School tomorrow?"

"Yes, you have school tomorrow."  I say.  Then I usually head her off by asking her about her day or asking her to put her shoes away or sometimes I just clap and say "Yay!"

Well, today when she got home I thought it would be fun to turn the tables on her.  I said "Do you have school tomorrow?"

And she said "Yeah."

I said "No, Haley, there is no school tomorrow.  Tomorrow is Saturday." 

She said "Yay!  Stay home!"

I said "Yes, you will stay home tomorrow."

A little while later her Dad came downstairs and said "Haley, is there school tomorrow?"

She said "Yeah."

He said "No.  There is no school tomorrow, it is Saturday."  Then he asked her again.  "Do you have school tomorrow?"

She said "Yeah." again.  Then he said "No, you don't have school tomorrow."

Well, then I got in on the act and I asked her to repeat after me.  I said No.  I asked her if she could say No.  She seems to have a problem with the word No.  Eventually we got her to say it.  Then we asked her again.  "Haley, is there school tomorrow?"

She sheepishly replied "No."

We both yelled and jumped up and down.  I gave her a high five and we danced around hugging.  Then of course, her Dad asked her again.

And again she said "No."

We did it all over again.  We had gotten through to her.

The test came when her Big Sis got home about fifteen minutes later.  When she had come in to the kitchen and greeted her sister I asked Haley the question one more time.  She said "No."  I whooped and hollered and jumped around.  Her sister gave me a look, but she got it.  She knows the history with that word.  She asked her several times and each time she answered correctly.  Then she asked her if there will be school on Monday.

Haley said "No."

We both told her that she did in fact have school on Monday.  Then Big Sis asked her about the following Friday, which is a conference day. 

Haley said "Yeah."

Big Sis said "No."

I said "I think you are confusing her."

She asked her about tomorrow a couple more times.  Then I decided to record her. 

I wanted proof!

Misunderstandings Part 2

or

Why I hate the word Case.

Haley loves her grandparents.  That's nice.  Haley likes to visit her grandparents.  That's nice.  Haley is obsessed with visiting her grandparents and won't stop talking about it.

That's not so nice.

In fact it is driving me crazy.

If you have read this blog at all you will know that this is nothing new.  This has been going on for quite some time.  We have breaks occasionally, but it is pretty much the status quo around here.

At any given time, maybe she hasn't mentioned going to her grandparents house, I may say something innocent like "Where is the case for that DVD?" or "In that case..." or "I like this iPhone case." and Haley goes ballistic.

"CASE.  CASE.  CASE." she yells.

Now, I don't know why she yells.  I don't know why she repeats herself.  I don't know why she get mad immediately.  I don't know why she doesn't just listen to the context of the sentence and understand that I am not talking about packing the Suitcase.

Sometimes if I say "Where is the case for this DVD?" she immediately thinks I mean that she should pack all of her DVDs into the Case that we use to pack DVDs that we are taking to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

I know that is what she is thinking.  I know that is what she wants to do. 

What she says is "CASE.  CASE.  CASE."

I say something like "No, Haley.  We are not packing.  We are not going anywhere."

Of course that doesn't help.  She just keeps yelling. 

Do you realize how many times in any given day you might say the word Case.  I would be willing to bet that it is a lot.  I seem to say it frequently, and believe it or not, innocently. 

And I have a legitimate reason to avoid it.

So, if I stop and think about what I am saying, I find myself thinking of new words to use instead.  Like the Box that the DVD goes in.

It can be exhausting.

Shubber

We all had a great time when we visited Haley's Grandma and Grandpa a couple of weeks ago.

We had a very relaxing weekend. We ate well and we put jigsaw puzzles together. Haley basically played on her laptop all weekend. She got to visit with Heather. And, of course she got to ride Grandpa's tractor.

There was something that we didn't do, however, that Haley really wanted to do. I didn't realize how important it was to her until we were leaving.

We didn't go to the Tree Farm.

Apparently Haley had her heart set on it.  She may have mentioned it once or twice, but we didn't have plans to go there.  We only had two days to visit and besides it was cold and rainy.

Those are our excuses.

Haley doesn't care.

As we were driving away from their house she said the usual things.  "Bye.  Grandma.  Bye.  Grandpa.  Bye.  Heather.  Tractor ride.  Fun."

Then she said "Tree Farm."

"We didn't go to the tree farm this time did we?"  I said.

"Tree Farm." she stated a little louder.

Little did I know that was only the beginning.  Since then it has become a daily conversation.  We have established that Haley wants to go to the tree farm.

She wants to "camp" at the tree farm.  She wants to sleep in a "tent," in her sleeping "bag."


She wants to have a "fire."

It surprises me that she wants these things.

It has been a long time since we have tented at the tree farm.

I thought about it and realized that it was about five years ago. I found some pictures of that camping trip.

I guess she really enjoyed it.

Just look at that face.

She was so little.



So every day she talks about camping at the tree farm.  She wants me to put it on the calendar.  We have been trying to explain to her that we don't have plans to go to the tree farm.  We tried to explain to her that it is too cold to camp.  We told her that it wouldn't be warm enough to camp at the tree farm until Summer.

I don't know if she gets it.

She just yells back at us "Shubber!"  She can't say Summer.  It sounds like Shubber. 

So it goes like this:  "Tree Farm.  Tent.  Sleep.  Bag.  Tractor.  Grandpa.  Camping."

"Haley it is too cold to camp at the tree farm."

"COLD!"

"Yes, it is too cold."

"CAMP." she says pointing at the calendar on the refrigerator.

"I can't put it on the calendar, Haley.  I don't know when we will go.  I only have one month on the calendar and it will be at least four months before we can go.  We might go in the summer."

"SHUBBER!"

"Yes, in the summer."

So life goes on...

Then a little while later she walks up to me and says "Shubber," by this time I have forgotten what that means so I look at her with my Dumb Mom Face.

"Tree Farm.  Camp.  Sleep.  Tent.  Fire."

"Oh, right. No. We can't camp until summer."  I say.

"SHUBBER!"

Repeat...

Beautiful

Haley stepped off the bus yesterday afternoon with a great big smile on her face.  She didn’t hesitate a moment.  Her foot hit the pavement and she was practically skipping up the drive way.  I loved watching her – especially with the sun shining like it was. 

It was beautiful.

I was watching her from our front porch.  As she stepped on to the porch I smiled and said “You seem happy.”

She said “yeah.”

“Did you have a good day today?” I asked.

“Yeah.  Fun day.  Walk.  Ucky.  Wak. Wak. Wak.”

“You went for a walk today?”

“Yeah...  Ucky. Wak. Wak. Wak.”

“You saw ducks?”

“Yeah.”

“They were quacking?”

“Yeah.  Fun day.”

That was officially the first time that she volunteered to tell me what happened in school.  That was the first time that she told me something that happened to her during school that I didn’t already know.

It was beautiful.

Back to The Future

Now that Haley can no longer choose The Grinch when she wants to watch a video she has been cycling through some of her old stand-bys. 

In the last week or so she has gotten into Back To The Future.  We have the three DVD set - all three movies.  She usually chooses the third one because it has horses and a train.  She watched it non-stop (read: anytime she wanted to watch a video) for about a week. 

Then one day she got out the VHS tape of the second one. I don't really like her watching that one as much.  It is quite a bit darker and there is more cussing in it, there is cussing in all three, but that one seems worse.  She watched it for a couple of days and then she wanted to watch the first one. 

The original. 

I hadn't seen it in a long time and neither had she.  She had a blast. 

She laughed out loud during most of it.  She got really animated.  She started repeating what they were saying.  Everything they were saying. 

Doc!  Marty!  Butthead!  Shit!  You name it she was yelling it. 

I chose to go the "ignore it, don't make a big deal out of it" route. 

Haley's Big Sis and I had some difficulty stifling our giggles, but we didn't admonish her.  We just let it go.  She doesn't usually say things like that from movies outside the context of watching the movies.  That would be a big step. 

I might welcome it. 

Maybe.

Pretty Please

My husband and I have always used "Please" and "Thank you" with our daughters.  If we want them to do something or go somewhere or hand us something we use those words and we expect them to use them too.

I have learned that I get better results if I don't yell at my daughters from another room when asking them to do something.  I try to walk up to them, get their attention and then make my request using please and thank you.  I am not perfect.  I forget sometimes, but I do try.

I have noticed lately that Haley responds really well to please.

Sometimes my husband sounds demanding when he doesn't use please and I am sure it sounds that way to her too. 

When Haley's Dad asks her to take out the recycling it sounds like this:

"Haley, it's recycling time." or "Haley, take out the recycling."  The response he gets is usually "ugh!" (read a grunt)

I tend to say "Haley, can you please take out the recycling?" or "Would you help me take out the recycling, please?" to which she usually says "Yeah," gets up and comes in the kitchen to help me.  It may be a coincidence, but I don't think so.

It works when I take Haley to the restroom too.

I usually have her go first even if I am the one that has to go.  I have always thought that if she hears me going she might go in her pull-up and then our trip is wasted (sorry if this is getting a little personal.)  If I follow her in and watch her without saying much she will pull down her pants, sit down and then immediately stand back up.  Then I have to tell her to sit down and try again. Sometimes that works, but most of  the time it doesn't.  Now if I say "Try to pee, please."  She relaxes and pretty soon I hear a little tinkle (again I apologize.)

When she wants something I always insist that she uses please and thank you.

If she wants a glass of juice or help putting a DVD in the player I insist that she ask me in a full sentence, followed by please. Sometimes she uses full sentences on her own, but she leaves off the please.  I always ask her to say please and remind her to say thank you.  Maybe that will be the next lesson that she gets. We have been working on it for a long time.

She did so well with the last one.

Dad. Dinner. Ready.

One of the things that I have been trying to get Haley to do lately is call her Dad for dinner. 

The main reason is convenience.  If she calls him than I don't have to, but there is another reason.  It gets her to use her big voice in a nice way.  She does have one.  She uses it when she is angry or upset.  We want to hear her voice.  And not just when she is ticked at us.

So I have been asking her to call her Dad.

Yadow Yap

Going back to school today must have tuckered Haley out.

As soon as she had her shoes and coat off and put away and had visited the bathroom she laid down on the couch and said "Blankie." 

I keeee you

Haley really wants to go to her Grandma and Grandpa's.

She really wants me to (at least) put it on the calendar. She points at the calendar. She points at the only Saturday on the calendar that is open. It is the December calendar, so it is the 17th.

I have explained to her that the day she is pointing at was two weeks ago.

Her Dad tells her what happened on that day. I really don't think that helps.

She just wants me to write G and G on the calendar. I have told her that I don't know when we are going so I can't write anything.

All of these answers make her mad.

I refuse to lie to her though. I can't tell her something is going to happen if it is not. I can't say that we are not going, we might.

So the other day after this had been going on for a while, Haley's mood went down hill. She got madder and madder. She got to the point that she was screaming. A high pitched scream. I asked her to stop.

She screamed "I keeee you."

I don't know what she was actually saying.

That is what it sounded like to me. So what it kind of sounded like was "I kill you." It might not have been that, but I don't know.

My husband thought it was funny. He thought it sounded like Jeff Dunham's Achmed the Dead Terrorist. She has never heard that, that I know of.

Either way, I don't think that is what she said.

I hope that is not what she said.

Green and White

Haley is excited about the Christmas decorations.  She knows Christmas is coming.  She also knows that means presents.

She walked in to the living room Monday night and pointed to the Countdown Santa Claus that I have sitting on a high shelf and said "Presents!"

I said "That says there are 28 days until Christmas."

"Presents!"

"28 days until presents."

"Yay! Woo! Hoo!"

"Are you excited about getting presents?"

"Yeah."

"What would you like for a present?"

"Green."

Hmmmm...

"You want one of your presents to be green?"

"Yeah."

"OK, I can do that.  One of your presents will be green.  What kind of present do you want?"

"White."

"OK, so you want to have a green present and a white present."

"Yeah."

Fast forward to this morning...

She comes down the stairs and sits on the couch and points up to the Countdown Santa and says "Green and White."

Hmmmm...

Another IEP

Last week my husband and I attended a meeting with Haley's teacher "B" to discuss her Individualized Education Program (IEP) at school. 

Her teacher instructed us to call him B, because it is easier for his students to say.

The IEP meeting is a time when we can help the teacher figure out how and what to teach her.  Each child gets their own IEP and so the teacher has very specific things to focus on for all of the kids in his class.  Haley's teacher is young and enthusiastic.  He has high hopes for Haley, as do we.

We discussed some of the things that were previously on her IEP and how she has achieved them.  Some we can remove because they no longer apply, like those geared more to her Middle School experience. 

She is in High School now, so her learning is changing.

One of the things that will be changing is that she will be in an "apartment program."  The Special Education department has set up one of their classrooms to be an apartment.  They have a kitchen, a dining room, a living room and a bed.  Haley will be "in the apartment" for a week.  She will be paired with another student in the apartment and she will have her one-on-one with her.  While there she and her partner will plan all of the meals, do all of the shopping and cooking and cleaning up.  She will even get to go to a "job."

I am excited about this program.  Not only will she be able to learn how to take care of herself, but I can watch!  They have an area that I can come in to without Haley being able to see me.  I will be able to observe her in action.  I am planning on going in after she has had a chance to get familiar with the apartment.

While we were talking about what she will learn I realized that I haven't been teaching her to do many of the things that she will be learning.  I tend to take care of her.  I don't expect her to be self-sufficient. 

I will be learning as well.

Her teacher asked us what kinds of things we would like him to teach her.  We talked about recognizing signs around the school (like the exit signs) and what to do if she sees the sign.  We talked about learning who to go to for help.  The teacher pointed out that she is never alone, which is a good thing, but we still want her to know the other teachers, the secretaries, the principal and security guards.

The speech therapist was there too.  It is always a bit disheartening to talk to a new speech therapist.  This one at least knows that she can speak, but because she is still in her shy mode he doesn't know how well she can speak.  We told him some of the things that she says at home and his eyes got big.  He hasn't heard any of it. 

He has been working with her to just say "Yes" and "No."  We told him that she says "yeah" instead of "yes" and that we have only heard her say "no" once.  We told him the story.

He wants to determine what she knows by showing her cards with pictures on them of household items.  He showed us the cards.  We agreed that she probably didn't know the things on the cards.  It was a bit embarrassing for us.  Haley knows a lot of things.  She can recognize every animal, all kinds of vehicles, more trains than most human beings and everything Disney related, but she wasn't recognizing toothbrush, comb, hair brush, and soap. 

We don't talk about the day to day things in our house I guess.  I don't know why.  It was very weird to realize that. 

Lately she has been curious about what I am doing when I make dinner.  I have been explaining my processes and what I am using.  I guess I need to do a lot more of that.

The IEP meeting is for the teacher to determine what Haley needs to learn.

Apparently it is also for her parents to learn the same thing.

I Like It

I can usually tell how Haley feels about something.  I can tell if she is happy, or sad, or angry.  I can tell if she is having fun.

I know what she likes.

I know these things by how she acts and what she does.  She doesn't tell me with words.  I gauge her reactions.

Lately though she has added a new phrase to her repertoire. 

She says "I like it."

It is so fun to hear her say that.

It started with The Sweater that she got from her Grandma J.  She rubbed the arm of the sweater and said "So soft."  She sniffed it and said "Smells good."  Then she said "I like it."

Now she has started to use the phrase for other things, like videos, her horses and peanut butter on crackers.

It says to me that she is learning.  She is putting her world in context.  She has an opinion.

I like it.

Was it something I said?

I scheduled a haircut appointment for Haley at 3:00 pm.

The bus drops her off at our house anywhere between 2:00 pm and 2:15 pm, so I thought there would be enough time for Haley to have a snack and also some time for me to wash Haley's hair.

Haley will not put her head back in the sink at the salon. Our stylist cannot wash Haley's hair. I learned a long time ago that I had to do it at home.  Her hair is still wet when we get there, wet enough anyway that all she has to do is spray a little more water on it. She also puts a cream in it that keeps it workable while she cuts it. It is fascinating to watch her cut Haley's hair.  Curly hair is really a different animal.

So, anyway, I thought I had enough time.

I had planned out what I was going to do. I was going to let Haley come in and do her normal after school routine. I was going to let her take off her shoes and jacket and put them away. Then I was going to let her check on our cat, go to the bathroom. wash her hands, and get a snack.  Then I would wash her hair and we would go.

So the bus pulls up and Haley gets out. We walk in to the house.

And...

I lose my mind.

I tell her that she has a haircut appointment.

I tell her that I want to wash her hair.

I realize what I have done and I try to back track.  I try to explain myself. I try to reassure her that she has time for a snack.

It is too late. I am ruined.

Haley started touching her hair and giving me a really concerned almost scared look. I don't know what she was thinking. I said "Your hair is going to be pretty."

"Pretty!" she cried. She cried. She touched her hair some more.

Oh, no...

"Yes, your hair is pretty now, but it needs a little trim. You like to get your hair cut. Are you excited to see Camille?" (name changed)

"Camille?"

"Yes. Do you want to see her?"

"Yeah."

OK. So then I came back to my senses and we took off her shoes and her coat and put them away. She did the rest of her routine and I offered her a snack. I didn't wait for her to ask for it. I made it and put it in front of her. This agitated her too. She got upset all over again.  I turned the TV on and tried to get her to focus on her show. 

That helped.

When she was done with her snack I told her it was time to wash her hair. I asked her if I could wash her hair in the sink. She looked a little concerned. She agreed and we walked over to the sink. I tried to help her bend over the sink and she balked. I don't know why I thought that was going to work. I told her that it was OK.

We would go take a quick bath.

We went upstairs and as we walked in to the bathroom she started crying again. At this point I was dumbfounded. I don't know if she was still upset about the assault she got when she got home, or if something else was going on. I tried to explain to her that we were just going to wash her hair and get her dressed again and then we would go. She cried the entire time she got undressed and while the tub filled. She cried while I washed her hair. She cried while I dried her hair and helped her get dressed.

I told her it was time to go.

"Go," she said.

"Yes, it is time, let's go."

Then she was fine. We got her shoes and jacket on and left. The haircut was fine. She sat completely still. She was very quiet. When we left she touched her hair and said "Pretty."

I knew better.

I had a plan. I sabotaged myself and I don't even know why.

I got ahead of myself.

I must remember this lesson in the future.