2012 Milestones

Last year at this time I did a recap of the prior year.  I enjoyed it so much I have decided to do it again this year.

The following are my favorite posts of 2012.

In January I wondered What She Can Do? and she answered me.  Haley seemed to be making strides, I don't know if she really was or if I was just noticing her accomplishments because I was focused on them.  I was so proud of her when she said "Dad. Dinner. Ready.", when she stepped off of the bus and told me a Beautiful story and also at the end of the month when the Evolution of a Hug was complete.

In February Haley was Amazing!  and she left me Bustin' with Pride!

In March we got so excited when Haley said "No."  I imagine that most parents don't like to hear the word No from their children, but in our case (there's that word again) it meant that she was Correct!

I was so proud of Haley at the end of March for Taking Care of Business, but by the end of April I learned that Independence Can Backfire!

There were some ups and downs in May, but one of my favorites was Haley's notebook.  Got Words?

In June I only posted twice, but they were very fun.  At the beginning of the month you could read about Our Experiment and at the end of the month she was getting used to the Summer Schedule, with a little surprise!

The surprise was a trip to Disneyland in July!  I chronicled our trip from beginning to end.  It was Incredible and we had a lot of fun.  Apparently it wore me out because I didn't blog at all in August, but we did finally go camping at the Tree Farm.  Haley loved every minute of it. 

In September our summer routine was over, but I don't know if we were Ready for School.

In October I decided to challenge myself and write a blog post a day.  I did the 31 for 21 Blog Challenge for Down Syndrome.  It truly was a challenge for me, sometimes I was blogging late at night when I should have been sleeping.  I did capture some good moments though.  I was really excited to get a note from Haley's Teacher, "B" and the Awesome Greeting I got one day after work.  I hope you liked the post about Haley's favorite steam engine and the fact that along with Haley you got to Feel It.

In November I tried to focus on Gratitude.  It was a very busy month and so was December.  I didn't keep up with this blog like I wanted to, but there were More Thanks.

Here's to 2012!  It was a great year.

~Haley's Mom

Beautiful

Haley stepped off the bus yesterday afternoon with a great big smile on her face.  She didn’t hesitate a moment.  Her foot hit the pavement and she was practically skipping up the drive way.  I loved watching her – especially with the sun shining like it was. 

It was beautiful.

I was watching her from our front porch.  As she stepped on to the porch I smiled and said “You seem happy.”

She said “yeah.”

“Did you have a good day today?” I asked.

“Yeah.  Fun day.  Walk.  Ucky.  Wak. Wak. Wak.”

“You went for a walk today?”

“Yeah...  Ucky. Wak. Wak. Wak.”

“You saw ducks?”

“Yeah.”

“They were quacking?”

“Yeah.  Fun day.”

That was officially the first time that she volunteered to tell me what happened in school.  That was the first time that she told me something that happened to her during school that I didn’t already know.

It was beautiful.

2011 Milestones

Looking back over 2011: the following are my personal favorites.

Haley is pretty agreeable most of the time, but in January Haley said No.

My daughter impresses me every now and then. In February she impressed me twice. I was afraid that she would no longer be able to ride Grandpa's tractor, but she put the Pedal to the Metal. When she started going to Yoga classes she not only impressed me with her skill, but her instructor thought that she was Amazing too!

In March I started trusting Haley to do more on her own. I found that all she needed were some Encouraging Words.

I spent some time away from Haley in April when I went to visit my sister and her new baby. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my husband posted something on this blog while I was gone. It was so fun to find out that she is capable of getting her own Kleenex.

In May we celebrate the birth of Haley's Big Sis and I discovered that Haley prefers to get presents rather than give them. Happy Birthday to You!

Haley has never really liked to draw so I was completely surprised when not only did she take a post-it note pad and pen out of my drawer, but she used it to draw a self-portrait; It's Haley. Haley's time in middle school ended in June and Oh, Baby did she celebrate!

We traveled to Montana in July to spend a week with my family in a log cabin. We had a great time. Getting together with my family brought back a lot of memories, most notably I remembered My Dad. Haley celebrated her birthday and I think the best present she got was Grandma C's Present.

August: My baby is growing up, but it nice to know that she loves her Mama; I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

September means back to school and for Haley this year it meant a new school. I thought the transition to High School would be easy because all of the other transitions have been, but I learned to Assume Nothing and because of that little lesson I decided to give Haley's new teacher An Introduction. Haley did well in her new school. She even surprised me by communicating with me on a whole new level when Rain Went Away.

In October I had Mixed Emotions and I wanted to ask Haley "How Do You Feel?" Later on in the month I no longer had to guess, she told me her opinion about the sweater her Grandma had given her; I Like It.

I started shopping for Christmas presents in November and I was so excited about one gift in particular and then I Blew It!

December was fun. Haley got to see her favorite steam engines and all of her grandparents and of course she got some great Christmas presents. I really enjoy going back and reading my little record of the year. I also really enjoy reading your Comments, so keep them coming!

2011 was a great year and I am looking forward to what 2012 has in store for us.

Citizenship

Today was the last day of school and for Haley it was the last day of middle school.  My baby will be going to High School next year.*gasp*

I received a letter inviting me to attend an award ceremony at the school today because my daughter would be receiving an award.  It is not her first award. She comes home with certificates several times a year, but I have never gotten an invitation to witness it. Also since it is the last day of school and she is "graduating" I thought that I would like to go.

I sent a note with Haley to her teacher this morning asking her to call me if Haley was indeed going to attend the ceremony. There have been times in the past that the teacher has told me that Haley would not attend the ceremony and that her award was given to her in class.

I suppose that is OK, but shouldn't she feel the recognition? Shouldn't she hear the applause?

I wanted her to and I wanted to.

The teacher called me and asked me if I had received a letter.  I told her that I had. She said that Haley would certainly be attending the ceremony then and that I could come.

I arrived at the gym and took a seat in the bleachers. The chairs in front were reserved for the 8th grade students.  I had only sat there a few moments when I saw Haley enter the room with her aide. They sat in the very first seat in the front.  I watched as her aide leaned over to her, spoke a bit and then turned and looked up at the bleachers. I knew she was looking for me so I stood up and waved.

She motioned for me to come down.

I walked up to Haley and said "Hi." She looked very confused. Mom isn't supposed to be at school. I gave her a hug and told her that I would be in up the stands. When I got back to my seat Haley's aide pointed to me and I waved. Haley waved too, but I could tell that she didn't see me.

The award assembly was nice. The principal and the teachers were very enthusiastic about the great students that were being recognized. I got teary eyed and choked up several times. When the Citizenship award was announced I felt a little feeling in my stomach that it would be the one for my daughter.

I wanted to remember the nice speech that the principal gave about what made a student a good citizen, but I don't remember it. I remember my daughter's name being called. I watched her walk up with the rest of the kids that also were receiving certificates. I took several pictures. I was so proud. I felt a lot of love toward that principal as she leaned her head on Haley's shoulder and showed her the certificate and the pin that she had earned. All of the kids were allowed to return to their seats and then the principal herself took the time to walk Haley back to hers.

After the ceremony was the 8th grade party. The kids got to go out on the field and have pizza, chips, fruit and cake. I decided to hang out with Haley a little while. I talked with her aide as Haley ate her lunch. They had a DJ playing music and I noticed that the other girl who was "graduating" from life skills was already dancing. Haley wanted to join her. I watched from the side and took pictures. Haley came to me and seemed a bit warm so I started to help her take off her jacket and BAM!

I was hit in the forehead with a football.

I was stunned a moment. Then I looked around to see who had thrown it. It was a pair of boys who had been throwing the ball back and forth for the last ten minutes. We had asked them to move away from the kids who were dancing, but obviously they didn't do it.

I came unhinged. I yelled at them. I told them that they should not be throwing the ball around a crowd of people dancing. I even called them "little shits!" To that one of them replied "You are not supposed to curse at school." I yelled back, "You are not supposed to hit people in the head with footballs!" (My shining moment!)

Haley just stood there wondering what the heck was wrong with her Mom - probably.

I looked around for Haley's aide and she was not to be found. Someone with a walkie-talkie came up to me and asked me how I was. By this time I was shaking. I told her that I had been hit by a football. She said that she could tell, because of the giant red welt in the middle of my forehead. She asked me about the boys and we talked a few minutes. She corralled them and had them sit down. I told her I was looking for Haley's aide and she went to look for her.

Meanwhile Haley joined the other kids and started dancing again.

Her aide came up beside me and I told her that I was going home. On my way out the other teacher asked about Haley and I told her that her aide was with her again. As I left I saw the boys with another teacher.

When I got to my car and started to put my stuff in the trunk I heard the assistant principal calling "Are you Haley's mom?"

"Yes." I said.

He asked me how I was feeling and told me that I should go inside and see the school nurse and fill out an accident report.  I just wanted to go home, but I agreed.  The nurse gave me some ice and a list of symptoms I should be aware of.  A hit like that can cause a concussion.

I really didn't feel that bad. My head hurt and I could tell that I would have a headache. I wanted to go home and rest. And I was emotional, but I had been emotional since the beginning of the ceremony.

Those were all symptoms listed on a poster in the health room.

I started crying and I told the nurse that I hoped the boys wouldn't be in too much trouble. I told her I was really angry when it first happened. She said that it was a normal reaction.

As I walked to the car I realized that today my daughter had earned an award for Citizenship and then I demonstrated a huge lack of Citizenship by yelling at her classmates.

I am not happy with myself at all.

Will Wonders Never Cease?

I am just sitting here, quietly, contemplating how much my daughter has grown this year.  I don't mean her height or weight, though she has grown that way as well.  She has matured this year, her thirteenth year.

A couple of days ago we received a package from my Mom.  Haley loves packages.  We had to open it. 

Actually Haley's Big Sis grabbed it and started opening it, so I can't really put it on Haley. 

My Mom had wrapped the presents inside and labeled them, of course.  Haley can recognize her own written name now, so she new exactly which ones were hers.  She wanted to open them, but I told her that we were going to wait until Saturday.  "Saturday is Christmas Day, that is when we open presents."

That was a bit hard for her, but I asked her to put all of the presents under the tree.  She felt important doing that, so it was OK.  We have never put presents under the tree.  I was fully prepared to hide them if there was a problem, but they are still there.

She sits in that room next to the tree.  She sits in the chairs that flank the tree, or she sits on the floor in front of the tree.  She has quite a collection of toys that she has been playing with while she sits there.  If someone walks by she will point to the presents.  She says "presents" or "Christmas" or her version of "Saturday," which really doesn't sound much like Saturday. 

She hasn't opened them. 

I think if any of us were to tell her that she could they would be open in a heartbeat, but she is being very patient.  I think that she is showing a new level of maturity that I have never seen in her before.

We changed up the Holiday Season on her this year, first by having Thanksgiving here and having Grandma and Grandpa come to our house.  Now we are planning to go to their house after Christmas.  She knows we are going. 

For a while she seemed more excited about going to their house than she was for Christmas.  I have both occasions written on the calendar that hangs on the refrigerator.  She points to the days that are marked Grandma and Grandpa's House, but she hasn't been pointing to Christmas.  I have explained the timing to her several times.  I say that we are going after Christmas, after we open our presents.

I think she has finally accepted it.  In desperation about a week ago I actually put on the calendar the day that we would pack so that she would stop asking to pack her "case."  I think she has come to terms with the timing.

I actually think she gets it.

I am so proud.

She Saw the Daylight

In our area we are blessed to have a steam locomotive that is operational and is run on special occasions.  One such occasion is the Christmas season.  Every year we like to take Haley for a ride on the Holiday Express that is pulled by either the 4449 Daylight or the SP&S 700. 

We wanted to go this weekend, but Haley's Big Sis is not feeling well so we are planning to go next weekend.  We bought our tickets this morning.

My husband always takes Haley train watching on Sundays and he really wanted to take her down to see the Daylight pulling the train today.  He was concerned that she would be upset if she got to see the train without getting to ride it. 

I didn't know what to tell him, but I said that maybe she would understand if he just told her the truth.  He decided to take her.

When they got home Haley came in the kitchen and started telling me all about it.  She told me that she saw the Daylight and that she walked and that she heard the engine's whistle.  She told me that she could smell the steam and smoke and that it smelled good.  Her Dad came in a few minutes later and prompted her to tell me more.  He told me that she wasn't scared.  At all.  He said that she walked right along side the engine and never asked to go back to the Yukon. 

He said that he really enjoyed the whole trip because she really enjoyed it.

I asked him if she was upset that she didn't get to ride it.  He said that she wasn't.  She talked about riding the cars and he told her that we had tickets for next Sunday.  She said "tickets" and that was it.  She was fine with it.

A few hours later. after she had spent the afternoon looking at pictures of the Daylight and the Holiday Express online she came downstairs and found me again.  She started telling  me how she had waved at the engineer of the Daylight, his name is Doyle.  She told me that she walked and that she had fun.

Well, I will let her tell you herself.

O Christmas Tree

When Haley was small we had a real tree and we had lots of beautiful Hallmark ornaments that we had given each other as gifts since we were married. We had those ball ornaments that will break if they touch each other. The tree was decorated with cute little figures.  Haley loves little figures. She likes to hold them.  She reached for one and pulled and the entire tree came down on top of her, breaking most of those beautiful delicate ornaments.

So now our tree is small, simple and unbreakable.

We have an artificial tree that is about five and half feet tall and we decorate it the same every year. I bought three sets of unbreakable ball ornaments that are blue, red, green and purple with gold designs. I bought six golden crosses which are also unbreakable and a set of 12 plastic icicles.  That is all we put on the tree besides lights and a garland of sparkly gold.
 
I think it is pretty and the girls can help me decorate it; I don't worry about them breaking anything or putting an ornament in a wrong spot.  It is easy and simple.  It speaks to many compromises I have made over the years. 

We decorated the tree today. 

Haley got to help put the ornaments on. 

I have to guide her hand because she can barely hold on to the ornament let alone find a branch and then leave it on the branch. 

She put two on with my help and then she was happy to just hand them to me.

I like it when she feels like she is helping and she doesn't get stressed out because she can't do it herself. 

Our tree is also quick, I think we decorated it less than thirty minutes.  Again, no stress.

Hand Me Down

I have been going through my closet lately.  Actually the truth is this: we got a new TV. 

The new TV needed a new TV stand.  I didn't want to get rid of the piece of beautiful oak furniture that the old TV was on so after many days of thinking about it we moved it upstairs.  We moved the dresser that was upstairs downstairs and I had to find new homes for all of the clothes that were in the dresser.  I made a big pile of clothes that I don't wear anymore, for various reasons. 

As I was putting those clothes in to sacks to donate I was folding a pair of pants and thought that they just might fit Haley.  After all, she wore one of my dresses for Halloween and it didn't need to be hemmed, maybe my pants wouldn't need to be hemmed either.

Haley is getting tall.  She passed up both of her Grandmas at the beginning of the year and we have noticed several times recently that she is taller than her Big Sis.  Her Big Sis thinks it is her curly hair that makes the difference, but I don't think so.  I wouldn't be surprised if she passes me up soon.

So yesterday morning when I was getting her dressed I tried my pants on her.  They fit.  They were just a little baggy, but the elastic is really good.  That is actually why I was willing to give them up.  The elastic was a problem for me, but not for her.  They weren't at all too long.  In fact I am sure she will grow out of them lengthwise long before they will "fit" her.

So now I think that I will go through those sacks and see if there are some other things that I could try on her.

Over the years Haley has worn some of her sister's hand-me-downs but there came a time not to long ago that they were basically the same size.  Then there came a time when her Big Sis's pants were too short and too big around for her at the same time.  She still hands down the occasional shirt, but they have very different styles.

So now she will get hand-me-downs from me.  Weird. 

Haley's Big Sis sometimes borrows my tops and jackets and Haley likes to go through my closet and look at my clothes.  Soon she will start wanting to wear them. 

I guess this is what comes with having teenagers.

She's a Teenager

I know I recently blogged about Haley's birthday.  So it is not a surprise to you that she is a teenager.  That was when she chronologically became a teenager.  It would seem that she has "become a teenager" this last week.

Her new favorite word is "No" and she uses it frequently.  She uses it loudly.

I was downstairs on Sunday and Haley and her father were upstairs, I assume they were both using the computers in the office.  One at each end of the desk.  I can assume what was going on because they were both yelling.  Her Dad would yell something like "I am trying to help you, Haley."  and she would yell back.  I wouldn't hear anything for a few minutes and then I would hear "NO!"

She seems to have a short fuse lately.  We don't know why.  As it happens, it can't be PMS, because of the timing.  My only explanation is that she is becoming a teenager.  I remember when her Big Sis went through a phase when everything her Dad said was wrong.  She just seemed angry all of the time.  She actually told me once that she knew it was wrong to get mad at her Dad, but that she really couldn't help it.  I guess that must be what is going on with Haley.

I feel like I am the moderator.  On Sunday when they were yelling at each other I decided to just step in.  I resisted the urge to sit there and let them work it out.  I went upstairs and asked her to step out of the room with me.  I ended up taking her to the bathroom and changing her.  She seemed to be in a better mood after that, I don't know if she was just uncomfortable or if it was just the change of scenery.

She is testing our patience.  I guess she is testing us.  Teenagers do that, don't they?

Mom

I celebrate little victories.  It comes with the territory.  This weekend my daughter walked up to me and said "Mom."  My heart stopped.  It was a red letter day.

When I looked back at the reports about Haley's development I read that at her first evaluation they had recorded her only saying two words.  She said "mama" and "dada."  This was at 20 months of age.  I know every parent looks forward to the first utterance of their child that means they know who they are and who you are, but for me it has been a fleeting thing.

I don't think those sounds that she made were really in reference to us.  I think they were just sounds. 

There was a time when Haley didn't really know who I was.  She didn't have separation anxiety.  She would go to anyone.  She was handed over to her daycare provider, her therapists, her grandparents and back to me and it made no difference to her.  That did change however after I "retired" from my full time job and became her sole caregiver during the day.  Eventually she did realize I was her mom and she did have separation anxiety when I left her.  She was almost three when that happened.

Over the years Haley has learned to say her own name and her sister's name as well as the names of friends at school, teachers, grandparents, animals, toy animals and dolls.  She talks about people, but she doesn't really address people.  If pressed we can get her to repeat our names, but it has only been in the last couple of years that she really uses them.

Until this weekend she had never used them spontaneously. 

She hasn't done it since either, but I am so excited about that one time that I think it will last me for quite a while.

Should I be worried?

Since Haley was very small she has loved to watch videos.  I would love to be able to say "When she was three..." but I can't.  As I sit here I have remembrances of Haley but I couldn't tell you how old she was when she did things. 

I haven't been very good about documenting Haley's life up until now.  Her baby book is empty.  In my defense it isn't because I didn't want to fill it out, she didn't have all of the little milestones that parents can record in her first year.  Haley didn't roll over at four months like her sister.  She didn't crawl before she turned one.  She didn't actually walk until she was two and half, and that she did in therapy so I didn't even have a camera or camcorder with me to capture it.  My memories are scattered so I will do my best to guess, but that is all they are; guesses.

Anyway, for as long as I can remember Haley has loved to watch videos and it was at a very early age that I realized that Haley is partial to villains.  I remember watching Lion King with her for the first time.  I was a little worried because it can be kind of scary (like most Disney cartoons) and I wasn't sure how she would react.  Imagine my surprise at her reaction to Scar, she loved him.  She would laugh when he was on the screen, I would almost say cackle.  The first scene that we meet Scar he grabs the poor mouse and lifts him up to taunt him, she loves that scene.  Later on in the movie when he is doing the same thing to his brother before he throws him from a cliff she also cackles.

That is not her only favorite character.  Haley loves Cruella De Ville.  She loves her in the cartoon as well as in the live action versions.  I will admit that I think Glenn Close did a phenomenal job in that role, but I really think that she is one of Haley's favorite characters.  When I say favorite that is not an easy thing to qualify.  Haley doesn't really seem to get the concept of "favorite."  We have asked her to name her favorite food, color, toy, drink, cereal, train engine, you name it, she just gives us a blank look.  I am basing my assumption that these characters are her favorites by her reactions to them, also the fact that she will actively seek them out not only on her videos, but also on YouTube (which is a subject for another day.)

Some of her other favorites are; Tzekel-Kan in The Road to El Dorado, the Beast in Beauty and the Beast, the grasshopper in a bug's life, Hades in Hercules, the wicked queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty.  Haley is a very gentle person.  She pets animals with care.  She likes to give her toys loves and kisses.  I don't know about this darker side.  Should I be worried?