A Fine Line

Haley is excited about the next thing.  The thing is, it is really not the next thing.

Her grandparents brought her a flyer about the Holiday Express, which is an excursion that features the two famous steam engines in our area; the SP&S 700 and the 4449 Daylight.

She carries the flyer everywhere.  Especially to the dinner table.  She points to it and talks about it and wants us to read it and talk about it.  She really wants to make sure that we get tickets to ride behind one of the engines.

I keep telling her that her Dad will get us tickets.  

I also keep telling her that it is in December.  She wants it to be tomorrow.  

For a while she would say "Tickets. Sunday."  

I went in to a long explanation about the end of this month and then November and then December.  We counted the days on the calendar.  It is a big number.  

Now she walks around saying "Tickets. December."  

Out of character for me I tried to explain to her all of the things that would be happening between now and then.  We have several trips planned.  There are two holidays in there.  

I don't think she gets it yet.

I am walking a fine line between telling her enough and telling her too much.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Horses in the Mail

I told you earlier about how Haley started a new chart so that she could buy Daylight merchandise when her money was All Gone.  Well, it didn't last long.

One day this summer Haley came to me all excited and wanted me to follow her.  I did.  She took me to the desk where her laptop resides and she showed me the horse that was on the screen.  She does that sometimes.  She shows me Schleich horses and I say things like "That is a pretty horse." or "That is a Palomino."  or "What color is that horse, Haley?"  

We talk about the horses.

This particular day something new happened.  Instead of being satisfied with our usual banter Haley reached out and tried to grab the horse that was on the screen.  I wish I had known that she was going to do it so that I could have captured it on video. (yeah, right)  

Anyway, I know that she didn't think that she could pick up that horse off of the screen.  She was making a point.  And, when people are trying to make a point they will often repeat themselves.  

Haley did that.  

She tried to "grab" the horse again.  Then she looked at me in a way that said "I want that horse right there and I want it now."  I saw all of that on her face.  She didn't say it, of course.  What she did was walk over to the refrigerator and point at the chart and say "Money."  

See I told you she was smart.

So, picking up her hint, I said "Let's see.  The horse that you want is $5.99 and you have $15.00 on your chart.  So, yes, you have enough money that you could buy that horse."

She got that.

So I said "Are you sure that you want that horse?"

"Yeah."  she said.

"OK, then I will order it for you."

Then I sat down in front of her laptop and I clicked the button to put it in the cart.  Immediately after I did that I realized that it was probably a bad idea.  I thought that if I showed her how to buy a horse online I might have trouble down the road.  So I changed gears and said "Just a minute, I am going to buy your horse on my computer."  I left the room and went to fire up my laptop.  I found the site that she was shopping on and I found the horse and then I put it in the cart.

Then Haley came and got me again.

She showed me another horse that she wanted on the the same site.  I said "OK, you can get two horses, but that is all you have money for."  

She said "Two.  Horses." 

I said "Yes, just two horses."

She pointed to another horse.

I said "You need to pick which horse you want."

She looked for a bit and then pointed at one of the horses.  I said "OK, that is the horse you want?"

"Yeah."

So I went back to my computer and I found the other horse and put it in the cart.  I entered all of the shipping and payment information and then I asked her to come and look at the cart.  

"These are the horses that you want, right?"

"Yeah."

"OK, I am ordering them now and you will get them in the mail in a few days."

"Yeah."

So everyday she was very interested in the mail.  We were very lucky, they came quickly.  She was so excited when her horses arrived in the mail.  We opened the package and gave them both names.  They were her favorite horses for a couple of weeks.  She took them everywhere.  They even got to go to Yoga with her. 

Instead of starting a new chart Haley wanted me to write words on the Magic Whiteboard.  We wrote words like Grandma and Grandpa and tractor ride and marshmallows.  A week or so went by and then one day I asked her to help me take out the recycling.  She got up and came in to the kitchen and pointed at the white board on the refrigerator door and said "Money?"  

I said "Yes, I will give you money if you take out the recycling."

"Horses."

"Yes, if you earn enough money you can buy more horses."

"Yeah."

I think I have created a monster.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

You Are Correct!

So, all week long when Haley gets home she says "School tomorrow?"

And I answer "Yes, there is school tomorrow."

Then she says "Stay home."

I say "You can stay home on Saturday."

She says "Sunday."

I say "Well, yes, you will stay home on Sunday too."

"School tomorrow?"

"Yes, you have school tomorrow."  I say.  Then I usually head her off by asking her about her day or asking her to put her shoes away or sometimes I just clap and say "Yay!"

Well, today when she got home I thought it would be fun to turn the tables on her.  I said "Do you have school tomorrow?"

And she said "Yeah."

I said "No, Haley, there is no school tomorrow.  Tomorrow is Saturday." 

She said "Yay!  Stay home!"

I said "Yes, you will stay home tomorrow."

A little while later her Dad came downstairs and said "Haley, is there school tomorrow?"

She said "Yeah."

He said "No.  There is no school tomorrow, it is Saturday."  Then he asked her again.  "Do you have school tomorrow?"

She said "Yeah." again.  Then he said "No, you don't have school tomorrow."

Well, then I got in on the act and I asked her to repeat after me.  I said No.  I asked her if she could say No.  She seems to have a problem with the word No.  Eventually we got her to say it.  Then we asked her again.  "Haley, is there school tomorrow?"

She sheepishly replied "No."

We both yelled and jumped up and down.  I gave her a high five and we danced around hugging.  Then of course, her Dad asked her again.

And again she said "No."

We did it all over again.  We had gotten through to her.

The test came when her Big Sis got home about fifteen minutes later.  When she had come in to the kitchen and greeted her sister I asked Haley the question one more time.  She said "No."  I whooped and hollered and jumped around.  Her sister gave me a look, but she got it.  She knows the history with that word.  She asked her several times and each time she answered correctly.  Then she asked her if there will be school on Monday.

Haley said "No."

We both told her that she did in fact have school on Monday.  Then Big Sis asked her about the following Friday, which is a conference day. 

Haley said "Yeah."

Big Sis said "No."

I said "I think you are confusing her."

She asked her about tomorrow a couple more times.  Then I decided to record her. 

I wanted proof!

Shubber

We all had a great time when we visited Haley's Grandma and Grandpa a couple of weeks ago.

We had a very relaxing weekend. We ate well and we put jigsaw puzzles together. Haley basically played on her laptop all weekend. She got to visit with Heather. And, of course she got to ride Grandpa's tractor.

There was something that we didn't do, however, that Haley really wanted to do. I didn't realize how important it was to her until we were leaving.

We didn't go to the Tree Farm.

Apparently Haley had her heart set on it.  She may have mentioned it once or twice, but we didn't have plans to go there.  We only had two days to visit and besides it was cold and rainy.

Those are our excuses.

Haley doesn't care.

As we were driving away from their house she said the usual things.  "Bye.  Grandma.  Bye.  Grandpa.  Bye.  Heather.  Tractor ride.  Fun."

Then she said "Tree Farm."

"We didn't go to the tree farm this time did we?"  I said.

"Tree Farm." she stated a little louder.

Little did I know that was only the beginning.  Since then it has become a daily conversation.  We have established that Haley wants to go to the tree farm.

She wants to "camp" at the tree farm.  She wants to sleep in a "tent," in her sleeping "bag."


She wants to have a "fire."

It surprises me that she wants these things.

It has been a long time since we have tented at the tree farm.

I thought about it and realized that it was about five years ago. I found some pictures of that camping trip.

I guess she really enjoyed it.

Just look at that face.

She was so little.



So every day she talks about camping at the tree farm.  She wants me to put it on the calendar.  We have been trying to explain to her that we don't have plans to go to the tree farm.  We tried to explain to her that it is too cold to camp.  We told her that it wouldn't be warm enough to camp at the tree farm until Summer.

I don't know if she gets it.

She just yells back at us "Shubber!"  She can't say Summer.  It sounds like Shubber. 

So it goes like this:  "Tree Farm.  Tent.  Sleep.  Bag.  Tractor.  Grandpa.  Camping."

"Haley it is too cold to camp at the tree farm."

"COLD!"

"Yes, it is too cold."

"CAMP." she says pointing at the calendar on the refrigerator.

"I can't put it on the calendar, Haley.  I don't know when we will go.  I only have one month on the calendar and it will be at least four months before we can go.  We might go in the summer."

"SHUBBER!"

"Yes, in the summer."

So life goes on...

Then a little while later she walks up to me and says "Shubber," by this time I have forgotten what that means so I look at her with my Dumb Mom Face.

"Tree Farm.  Camp.  Sleep.  Tent.  Fire."

"Oh, right. No. We can't camp until summer."  I say.

"SHUBBER!"

Repeat...

It Would Help with This Deception

Bonus points if you can name that popular children's movie...

Anyway.

As you well know by now, Haley loves to visit her Grandparents.  She decided shortly after they left - when they were here for Christmas - that she wanted to go to their house.  She drove us crazy about it, like she does, for several weeks and then she didn't.  

I don't really know why, but we had a reprieve.

Last week she really enjoyed talking to them on the phone.  It has become a ritual.  My husband either calls them or they call him every Thursday.  On those occasions he brings a phone to Haley and puts it on speaker and she joins in the conversation.  She usually just listens and giggles, but occasionally she speaks. 

Actually what she does during most of the call is she runs and finds me or her Big Sis and excitedly tells us that Grandma and Grandpa are on the phone. We say something like; "That's cool Haley, go and talk to them." or "I know Haley, it is exciting!  Go back in the other room and talk to them."

The next day during breakfast she tells me all about the Call.  She recites what they talked about.  

"Call.  Grandma and Grandpa.  Heather.  Tree Farm."

Last week she excitedly talked about the Call every day afterward.  Then she wanted me to write something on the calendar that we keep on the refrigerator.  I don't know if she wanted me to write the next time that they were going to call, or something else.

It started ramping up.  I came to realize that she was remembering that back in January I might have pointed to the February calendar and talked about visiting Grandma and Grandpa.  

I have been avoiding the actual conversation.  

I have been reluctant to tell her that we are planning to go up there.  I almost broke down the other night.  I figured that the way she was nagging me might be worse than what she would do if she knew we were actually going.  I was getting the vibe from her Father and her Big Sis that I shouldn't say anything though.  

She was focusing on the Call so I focused on it too.  I told her that she would be able to talk to them on Thursday, even though they probably weren't planning on calling because they will be seeing us on Friday.  

That seemed to satisfy her.

Then I tried to decide how I would tell her that we were actually going to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  I didn't have it on the calendar, so I thought maybe I should put it on there.  Should I do it while she was in school, or should I do it when she got home so that she would see me do it?

Then I had this idea.  Let's get Grandma and Grandpa in on it.

I asked my husband to email them and have them call us last night, instead of Thursday night.  I wanted them to ask Haley if she would like to come up to their house.  I thought it might be fun for her to get an actual invitation.

So that is what they did.  They called us.  Haley got to talk to them (a day early) which she was excited about.  She really wanted to talk to them when we were getting in the car to go to her Confirmation Class.  So it was nice that when we got home and walked in the door we could hear that Dad was talking to them.

They asked Haley about church and then they talked about Heather and then they told her that they were lonely and they wanted to know if she would come up and visit them at their house.  She said "yeah."  She was smiling. She was thrilled.  She was relatively quiet though.  I hope they weren't offended.  

After she hung up she threw her arms up in the air and screamed "Grandpa's House! Yay!"  She gave me a double high five, or ten, as it were and she yelled "WOOOO!"  Then we went over to the calendar and I wrote Grandpa and Grandma's across Friday and Saturday.  She yelled "WOOOO!" again and ran out of the room and up the stairs to her sister's room.  She told her "Grandpa and Grandma's house." and then she came back downstairs and told me again.  She said "WOOOO!" several more times followed by high tens(?)

So I think she is excited. 

I did finally convince her to go to bed and then this morning she started packing.

I Lied

Last night Haley and I went to her confirmation class at church.  Pastor has been gone for a while and the class was taught by an interim Pastor during that time.  It was nice to have him back.

When we walked in he asked Haley if she had any horses in her purse. He remembered that she usually carries horses with her.  I knew that she didn't have any horses in there so I told her to show him what she did have.

She pulled out the "80," the tractor that her Grandma and Grandpa gave her for Christmas.  Then she pulled out the Daylight and it's Tender and hooked them up.  He asked her if she had gotten them for Christmas.  I laughed and had to tell him the story of how I Blew It.

He asked if it was a special engine.

How many?

Haley is constantly snacking.  Constantly.  Snacking.

Sometimes she gets her own snacks.  Sometimes she just needs me to open a package or unscrew a lid.

Earlier she brought me the box of crackers and the Nutella.  She needs a little more help with this snack.  She needs me to spread the Nutella on the crackers for her.

I have been working on getting her to do things for herself this summer.  Especially in the potty training area, but all aspects of her life really.

I have also been trying to get her to understand numbers.  Specifically counting how many days it will be until we go to Grandma and Grandpa's, because I Did It Again. We count on the calendar.  We count on her paper chain her sister made.  When she starts talking about it I ask her how many days are left.  She doesn't answer. 

She doesn't get it.

Still I try.

So instead of mindlessly putting Nutella on some crackers I asked her how many she wanted.

"One," she said.

I put one cracker on the plate.  She gave me a strange look.

"Two."

I put another cracker on the plate.


"Three."

I put another cracker on the plate.

"Two."

I took a cracker off of the plate. 

That got a reaction!  She gave me a look like she thought I was insane.

"Three."

I put a third cracker on the plate.  Then she started to get upset.

"One."

"Do you mean one more?"

"Yeah."

I put a fourth cracker on the plate.

"One," she said.

"Do you mean one more?"

"Yeah."

I put another cracker on the plate and looked at her. 

"Is that good?" I said.

"Yeah."

I wonder how long it will take before she gets this?

What She Said

I got a phone call from Haley's school today.

They said that she wasn't herself.  She was slow to respond when they asked her questions and she was pointing to her head.  After lunch she wanted to lie down rather than go out to play.

I told the nurse that I would come and pick her up.  The description didn't sound that far off from normal to me, but if it seemed odd to them I thought I had better see what was going on.

When I got to the school she was waiting in the lobby with her aide. She stood up and walked straight to me.  Her first word was "Better." She didn't look unusual to me, but I took her home and told her to rest.  I asked her if her head hurt and she pointed to it.  I asked her if she wanted some medicine for it and she said "Yeah."  After she took a pain reliever I told her to take it easy and I made myself some lunch.

She wanted to eat too.

I got her about three separate snacks over a twenty minute period and then I told her that she was done for awhile.

She went upstairs to play.

A little while later she came down and showed me the horse she had in her hand.  As she walked past me I noticed something...

"Whoa, Haley.  Do you need your pants changed?

"Yeah," she said.

"Is that why you wanted to come home?

"Yeah."

I actually think I believe her.

Encouraging Words

Amazingly I have spent most of the last three days sitting here working on the computer and yet I haven't sent a single blog post...

I am really enjoying a new sense of freedom and empowerment that comes from a child who understands me and responds accordingly.  I am able to say things like "Go to the bathroom, please."  or "Go upstairs and get dressed." or "Pick up your Barbie clothes, please."

And she does it!

It started out simply enough.  I asked Haley to go to the bathroom.  She walked into the bathroom, turned on the light and shut the door.  I stood there with my mouth gaping open staring at the closed door.  I listened.  I heard the sound of the lid being lifted.  I heard the sound of her pull-ups being pulled-down.  Quiet...then I heard a little tinkle, tinkle.  I was getting excited...then I heard "Done."

Oh.

She wasn't really "done," but it was encouraging.

From the other side of the door I said "Do you need help?"  She said "Yeah."  So I went in.  I helped her wipe and take her pants all the way off and put on a new pull-up.  I think if the pull-up hadn't been wet she would have just pulled her pants back up.  I know she can do that.

The other day (on a whim) I asked Haley to go upstairs and get dressed.  I went about my business downstairs.  Time passed.  Then from the top of the stairs I heard her Dad praising her and asking me if I knew what she was doing.  I had some idea of what she was doing, but I went upstairs to see what was going on. 

Haley was wearing pants. 

That's it.  She was carrying her bra and her top and she was heading down the stairs to find me.  I think my husband was a bit taken aback by the situation, but I was thrilled.

I have been using my new found freedom a lot lately.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  When it works it is really great!