There They Are

Haley had a great time chasing the Daylight.  She really enjoyed having her grandparents here.  She really didn't need anything else, but her grandparents got her something anyway.

They got her a new Daylight shirt.  She immediately ran upstairs and put it on.

She was so excited and her face was really red because her grandparents were still here.

Today she wanted to wear it to school.  

As she was getting dressed I turned the light off in her room and shut the door so that she could see that it GLOWS IN THE DARK. It was just the steam and smoke that glowed, but it was fun.

When she got home from school I asked her if she had fun wearing her new shirt. 

She got very animated and started to tell me all about her shirt.  She told me that it was dark night, because the shirt is black. She pointed out the signals, the head light and the window where the engineer would sit.

Warning, things are about to get personal.

Remember...

I warned you.

She wanted to show me more about her shirt, but she could not see what she wanted to see.  Her darn boobs were in the way.  She was trying to push them out of the way and squish them to see below them.  I was laughing so hard I had a hard time explaining to her that all she had to do was grab the bottom of her shirt and pull it out so that she could see what was happening down there.

I pulled her shirt out and said "See, there they are."

The cars behind the engine, that is.  

She said "There they are!"  

She pointed to the cars that were being pulled by the engine and the word "Daylight" and the number "4449."

Sometimes it sucks to be a girl.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Again

Haley had so much fun yesterday chasing the Daylight.  Her Dad told her that she would get to do it again today.  Well, yesterday her told her that she would get to do it again tomorrow.  

So she was excited.

Again.

She got me up a couple of times last night.  She got up early this morning.  It was actually the time that she usually gets up for school, but it was too early for me.  I figured that she was fine downstairs on her laptop so I fell back asleep.  Her Dad got up.

I think he forgot to tell her that she would see the Daylight later in the day.

The thing was that the train pulled by the Daylight headed to Bend, Oregon yesterday.  Haley and her Dad didn't follow it all the way to Bend.  They stopped at some point and headed home.  They stopped for dinner at Subway and then got home around 7:30 pm.  So today her Dad planned to wait until the train was about two hours away and head out and follow it back to Portland.

Haley was excited.

She wanted to go and see the Daylight this morning.  I knew that because when she went to bed last night she said "Daylight. Good Morning."  

I just let it go.  

She didn't get upset today.  I went to church with Haley's Big Sis and her friend that stayed the night, like we always do.  Haley and her Dad didn't go train watching first thing in the morning like they usually do.  After lunch Haley's Big Sis wanted to go out and run some errands and then we took her friend back home.  When we got home I was sitting in the living room and Haley came in and said "Again."

"What?"  I said.

"Again." 

I knew what she meant.  She knew that she was going to see the Daylight again.  She was being extremely patient as far as I was concerned.  

Later on when I was upstairs in my bedroom Haley came in a pointed out the window.  She was excited that her grandparents car was still in the culdesac.  I told her that after she and her Dad followed the Daylight they would bring Grandma and Grandpa back to our house.  That made her happy.

It took a long time, but her Dad finally came down the stairs this evening and told me that the train was about two hours away.  He told me because I was trying to figure out when to start dinner and when I should plan to serve it.  I think Haley heard him because she came running in to the room.  He told her that she could get ready and she got excited all over again.

She ran to get her shoes and her coat and her Daylight hat.

I ran in to get her picture.

 

  

And then they were off.

Again.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Focus

Haley is excited.

Her grandparents are here.  She is going to see her favorite steam engine tomorrow. 

It's all good.

When I got home from work today I walked in the house and I could just tell.  

Haley was bouncing off of the walls.  

Of course I knew that her grandparents were there.  I saw their car in the culdesac, I knew their plans.  Even if I didn't know that, I would have known that something was up from the way that Haley was acting.  I actually think that she would have been just as excited if the only thing that was happening was that she was going to see the Daylight tomorrow.  Maybe not.  It's hard to say, but for sure the two things happening at the same time had her wound up.

Haley's Grandma and Grandpa are going to ride behind the Daylight tomorrow.  

They are excited too.  

They were talking about the impending trip while I was making dinner.  Haley was in and out of the room bringing them things to look at like her Disneyland map and her Daylight Sales catalog.  I was a little nervous that she would get upset with them talking about riding behind the Daylight because she is not going to do that.  

She is going to "chase" it.

She told me that she needed to go to the bathroom so I took the chance to talk to her about tomorrow.  I told her that Grandma and Grandpa were going to ride the train pulled by the Daylight, but that she and her Dad were going to wave at them as it went by.  

She didn't seem to mind that idea.

Her Dad made her a lunch and told her that they were going to stop at some point tomorrow and eat their lunches together.  She liked that idea.  The funny thing is that he basically asked me what I usually pack in her lunch for school and he packed exactly the same thing.

So when we talk about tomorrow she says "See it.  Hear it.  Lunch."

She has her priorities.


~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

On Her Own

This weekend my husband and I were invited to a wedding.  It was being held closer to his parents house than ours so we asked them if the girls could stay with them and we planned to stay at a hotel near the venue.

Everything was fine until the day before we were going to leave.

I got home from work and Haley's Big Sis asked if she could stay home.  She said it was because she didn't want to miss school, the wedding was on Sunday so we were not planning to be home until Monday night.  She laid out her plan and it was a good one.  I wasn't completely comfortable with the idea, but she had already convinced her father, so I agreed.  I told her that I would miss her and she reminded me that the time was nearing that I would have to get used to the idea of her not being around.  College.  That is a subject for another day.

My other concern was how Haley would do at Grandma and Grandpa's by herself. Haley's Dad and Big Sis were convinced that she would be fine.

We decided to tell Haley our plans so that we could pack.  She was very excited.  

The next day when we left our house, she didn't even seem to miss her sister.  

We arrived at Grandma and Grandpa's just before lunch time.  We spent the night there and then after lunch the next day I explained to Haley that her Dad and I would be leaving and that she was going to stay with her grandparents.

She seemed to take it in stride.

The next day we returned just as Haley was about to go on a tractor ride with her Grandpa.  We found out that while we were gone Grandpa spent most of the time out in their yard working, they are getting a new septic system.  There was so much dust that Haley and her Grandma just watched from the inside, so her tractor ride had been delayed.  

The reports were all good.    

The only issue was that during dinner the night before Haley's Grandpa sat right next to Haley.  He usually sits at the opposite end of the table from her.  Apparently Haley didn't eat much.  She really likes her Grandpa, but for some reason he make her really nervous.  I don't know if that is the right word.  She gets silly around him, she is very shy, but she is also kind of giddy.  As it turned out they couldn't get her to eat.  She made up for it the next day though.  She ate two bowls of cereal - while he sat at the end of the table again - and once we were home her appetite took over and she had three helpings of dinner.

Haley seemed to be completely at home with Grandma and Grandpa and I think that if we decided to leave her there permanently she would be fine with that.

~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month.  The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome.  Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

31 for 21

I am joining the 6th Annual 31 for 21 Challenge.

The blog challenge is to blog for 31 days for (T)21. To blog every day in the month of Oct in honor of National Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

I don't know that much about Down Syndrome, so we will learn together.

Check out the blog that originated the challenge this year Big Blueberry Eyes.

It will be a challenge for me.

I have been occupied with other things (life) and I haven't been blogging, but I am up for it, so wish me luck.

This particular post is short because we just got home from visiting Haley's Grandma and Grandpa over the weekend.  Check back tomorrow for more about that.

~ Haley's Mom

Our Experiment

Haley had a great weekend.  Her grandparents came to visit.  They arrived on Friday shortly after Haley got home from school.  She was so happy to see them, but she was really shy.  They got hugs, but not the hugs with big squeezes that we had been practicing.  

They went to Yoga with her. 

They said that it seemed like she was being very shy.  Her Dad said that she did everything at about 110%.  I got an email from her Yoga instructor this weekend saying that although she wouldn't look at them, she was worked a lot harder than she usually does.  She said that Haley was sweating.

Haley spent the weekend around her grandparents.  

In the past she has done her own thing.  Not this time.  She sat on the couch next to them while we watched a baseball game on the TV.  We went on several walks, she kept up with us.  I didn't have to drag her.  It was really nice.  She laid on the floor of the living room on Sunday evening while we were sitting around talking.  

She didn't use her laptop on the kitchen table like she usually does though.  For some reason she sat at my desk at one point and started using my laptop.  I don't know why she did it.  I guess she was too shy to ask someone to set up her laptop.  Both Grandma and Grandpa used their laptop on the kitchen table, where Haley is usually set up.

After they left she continued to use my laptop.

Haley came home on Monday with a snotty, runny nose so I didn't send her to school today.  I had a meeting to go to this morning.  When I got home she was still on my laptop.  I found her looking at my Facebook.  She was looking at my "friends" profiles and their pictures.  She likes to look at pictures of people that she knows.  She also likes to look at the things that her Dad likes.  Train things.

I broke down and created Haley a Facebook of her own.

She won't communicate like other people do on Facebook, but she will follow the things that she likes.  I asked a few people to friend her.  I asked them to put pictures, videos and audio messages on her wall.  I set it up so that it is pretty secure, I hope.

Then I asked her to come and look at it.

She sat down at the computer.  I showed her the timeline.  I clicked on the About section and asked her to tell me what she likes.  She said "Grinch."  I typed that in and found it, then I clicked "Like."  She said "4449" and "700."  I found those to.  We typed in a few movies that she likes.  Then I clicked on her wall.

Nothing.  It was blank.  I forgot how Facebook works I guess.  We needed to wait for the people that we friend requested to answer.  We needed to wait for the pages that we liked to put some content on.

I started searching for other things that she would like.  After I had found a dozen or so things I left her to it.  Pretty soon she came to me and asked for a movie or a train.  At this point I don't remember.  It has been a whirlwind ever since I started this.

She asked me for something that I had a hard time understanding, it basically sounded like "an"  I asked her to repeat it.  It didn't change much.  I had to really think.  Finally I realized that she meant "Tarzan."  I typed that in and hit "Like."  She said something else that sounded the same.  She started getting frustrated with me.  I finally got it.  "Aladdin!"  

A little while later she brought me the Mulan DVD.  She didn't want to watch it, she wanted me to type in the name of the movie.  It has been like that all afternoon.

I just sat down and showed her how to click on the Home button.  

She now has lots of things on her Wall.  I don't know what is going to come from this experiment, but so far she is having a wonderful time.

Misunderstandings Part 2

or

Why I hate the word Case.

Haley loves her grandparents.  That's nice.  Haley likes to visit her grandparents.  That's nice.  Haley is obsessed with visiting her grandparents and won't stop talking about it.

That's not so nice.

In fact it is driving me crazy.

If you have read this blog at all you will know that this is nothing new.  This has been going on for quite some time.  We have breaks occasionally, but it is pretty much the status quo around here.

At any given time, maybe she hasn't mentioned going to her grandparents house, I may say something innocent like "Where is the case for that DVD?" or "In that case..." or "I like this iPhone case." and Haley goes ballistic.

"CASE.  CASE.  CASE." she yells.

Now, I don't know why she yells.  I don't know why she repeats herself.  I don't know why she get mad immediately.  I don't know why she doesn't just listen to the context of the sentence and understand that I am not talking about packing the Suitcase.

Sometimes if I say "Where is the case for this DVD?" she immediately thinks I mean that she should pack all of her DVDs into the Case that we use to pack DVDs that we are taking to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

I know that is what she is thinking.  I know that is what she wants to do. 

What she says is "CASE.  CASE.  CASE."

I say something like "No, Haley.  We are not packing.  We are not going anywhere."

Of course that doesn't help.  She just keeps yelling. 

Do you realize how many times in any given day you might say the word Case.  I would be willing to bet that it is a lot.  I seem to say it frequently, and believe it or not, innocently. 

And I have a legitimate reason to avoid it.

So, if I stop and think about what I am saying, I find myself thinking of new words to use instead.  Like the Box that the DVD goes in.

It can be exhausting.

Shubber

We all had a great time when we visited Haley's Grandma and Grandpa a couple of weeks ago.

We had a very relaxing weekend. We ate well and we put jigsaw puzzles together. Haley basically played on her laptop all weekend. She got to visit with Heather. And, of course she got to ride Grandpa's tractor.

There was something that we didn't do, however, that Haley really wanted to do. I didn't realize how important it was to her until we were leaving.

We didn't go to the Tree Farm.

Apparently Haley had her heart set on it.  She may have mentioned it once or twice, but we didn't have plans to go there.  We only had two days to visit and besides it was cold and rainy.

Those are our excuses.

Haley doesn't care.

As we were driving away from their house she said the usual things.  "Bye.  Grandma.  Bye.  Grandpa.  Bye.  Heather.  Tractor ride.  Fun."

Then she said "Tree Farm."

"We didn't go to the tree farm this time did we?"  I said.

"Tree Farm." she stated a little louder.

Little did I know that was only the beginning.  Since then it has become a daily conversation.  We have established that Haley wants to go to the tree farm.

She wants to "camp" at the tree farm.  She wants to sleep in a "tent," in her sleeping "bag."


She wants to have a "fire."

It surprises me that she wants these things.

It has been a long time since we have tented at the tree farm.

I thought about it and realized that it was about five years ago. I found some pictures of that camping trip.

I guess she really enjoyed it.

Just look at that face.

She was so little.



So every day she talks about camping at the tree farm.  She wants me to put it on the calendar.  We have been trying to explain to her that we don't have plans to go to the tree farm.  We tried to explain to her that it is too cold to camp.  We told her that it wouldn't be warm enough to camp at the tree farm until Summer.

I don't know if she gets it.

She just yells back at us "Shubber!"  She can't say Summer.  It sounds like Shubber. 

So it goes like this:  "Tree Farm.  Tent.  Sleep.  Bag.  Tractor.  Grandpa.  Camping."

"Haley it is too cold to camp at the tree farm."

"COLD!"

"Yes, it is too cold."

"CAMP." she says pointing at the calendar on the refrigerator.

"I can't put it on the calendar, Haley.  I don't know when we will go.  I only have one month on the calendar and it will be at least four months before we can go.  We might go in the summer."

"SHUBBER!"

"Yes, in the summer."

So life goes on...

Then a little while later she walks up to me and says "Shubber," by this time I have forgotten what that means so I look at her with my Dumb Mom Face.

"Tree Farm.  Camp.  Sleep.  Tent.  Fire."

"Oh, right. No. We can't camp until summer."  I say.

"SHUBBER!"

Repeat...

I Am Bustin' with Pride

We spent the weekend at my husband's parent's house.  Haley's Grandma and Grandpa's.  It was a very laid back visit.  We basically spent the entire weekend eating the amazing food that Grandma made and putting together jigsaw puzzles.

I lounged around in comfy track suits.  Haley's Big Sis wore pajamas.

Haley rocked yoga pants and a t-shirt.

It was her decision.  It was her doing.  I had nothing at all to do with it.

Saturday morning we had eaten breakfast and were just sitting at the table talking.  Haley got up and went upstairs.  A little while later she came back down. 

Dressed. 

Her sister was still in bed.  I went up and asked her if she had helped her.  She hadn't.  She did say she watched though.  Haley did it all by herself.  Bra and everything.

A little while later she went back upstairs and came back down with some socks.  She brought them to her Dad and he put them on her feet.

Sunday morning was much the same.  No one said anything to her, she disappeared up the stairs shortly after breakfast and then came back down wearing the same yoga pants and t-shirt she had worn the day before.  She threw her socks on the floor in the middle of the living room and sat down on Grandma and Grandpa's lounger. 

We all looked at each other and smiled. 

I asked her if she needed help with her socks.  She said "Yeah."  So I put her socks on her.

Her Grandma and I talked about the likelihood that she would dress herself again on Monday.  I thought it was interesting that, although we were both duly impressed, our assumption was that once she was back in familiar surroundings she would revert to her old ways. 

We were wrong.

We got home late Sunday night and went right to bed.  This morning we all slept in.  Once we were up, we were just hanging out in our pajamas.  Haley had a bowl of cereal and then she watched YouTube videos on her laptop.  When her sister came down about an hour or so later she asked her if she wanted French Toast. Haley said "Yeah."  So Big Sis made them both French Toast. 

After they were done eating Haley started to walk out of the kitchen.  She turned to me and gave me a half wave over her shoulder.  I waved back.

A little while later she came back in to the kitchen, dressed.  She was wearing a different pair of yoga pants and a white camisole.  In her right hand was a pair of pink socks and her left hand was poised for a high five.  I gave her one and helped her put her socks on.  She went back to the laptop.  A little while later she left the room and then came back in wearing a pink sweater.  She put her hand up to me as she passed in what appeared to be a high five that didn't really need a response. 

She knew she was good.

I am so proud.

It Would Help with This Deception

Bonus points if you can name that popular children's movie...

Anyway.

As you well know by now, Haley loves to visit her Grandparents.  She decided shortly after they left - when they were here for Christmas - that she wanted to go to their house.  She drove us crazy about it, like she does, for several weeks and then she didn't.  

I don't really know why, but we had a reprieve.

Last week she really enjoyed talking to them on the phone.  It has become a ritual.  My husband either calls them or they call him every Thursday.  On those occasions he brings a phone to Haley and puts it on speaker and she joins in the conversation.  She usually just listens and giggles, but occasionally she speaks. 

Actually what she does during most of the call is she runs and finds me or her Big Sis and excitedly tells us that Grandma and Grandpa are on the phone. We say something like; "That's cool Haley, go and talk to them." or "I know Haley, it is exciting!  Go back in the other room and talk to them."

The next day during breakfast she tells me all about the Call.  She recites what they talked about.  

"Call.  Grandma and Grandpa.  Heather.  Tree Farm."

Last week she excitedly talked about the Call every day afterward.  Then she wanted me to write something on the calendar that we keep on the refrigerator.  I don't know if she wanted me to write the next time that they were going to call, or something else.

It started ramping up.  I came to realize that she was remembering that back in January I might have pointed to the February calendar and talked about visiting Grandma and Grandpa.  

I have been avoiding the actual conversation.  

I have been reluctant to tell her that we are planning to go up there.  I almost broke down the other night.  I figured that the way she was nagging me might be worse than what she would do if she knew we were actually going.  I was getting the vibe from her Father and her Big Sis that I shouldn't say anything though.  

She was focusing on the Call so I focused on it too.  I told her that she would be able to talk to them on Thursday, even though they probably weren't planning on calling because they will be seeing us on Friday.  

That seemed to satisfy her.

Then I tried to decide how I would tell her that we were actually going to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  I didn't have it on the calendar, so I thought maybe I should put it on there.  Should I do it while she was in school, or should I do it when she got home so that she would see me do it?

Then I had this idea.  Let's get Grandma and Grandpa in on it.

I asked my husband to email them and have them call us last night, instead of Thursday night.  I wanted them to ask Haley if she would like to come up to their house.  I thought it might be fun for her to get an actual invitation.

So that is what they did.  They called us.  Haley got to talk to them (a day early) which she was excited about.  She really wanted to talk to them when we were getting in the car to go to her Confirmation Class.  So it was nice that when we got home and walked in the door we could hear that Dad was talking to them.

They asked Haley about church and then they talked about Heather and then they told her that they were lonely and they wanted to know if she would come up and visit them at their house.  She said "yeah."  She was smiling. She was thrilled.  She was relatively quiet though.  I hope they weren't offended.  

After she hung up she threw her arms up in the air and screamed "Grandpa's House! Yay!"  She gave me a double high five, or ten, as it were and she yelled "WOOOO!"  Then we went over to the calendar and I wrote Grandpa and Grandma's across Friday and Saturday.  She yelled "WOOOO!" again and ran out of the room and up the stairs to her sister's room.  She told her "Grandpa and Grandma's house." and then she came back downstairs and told me again.  She said "WOOOO!" several more times followed by high tens(?)

So I think she is excited. 

I did finally convince her to go to bed and then this morning she started packing.

Anticipation...

Haley had been in constant anticipation mode for a week. 

Not for what you might expect. 

She was anticipating going to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

It did not seem to matter how many times I told her that we were not going to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  She was convinced that we were.  I finally broke down and told her that they were actually coming here.  I put it on the calendar and we talked about it.  I showed her that G and G would be here on Christmas Eve and the next day we would open presents, thinking that the prospect of presents would distract her.

I thought she understood. 

Sometimes I think she did understand and then other times she still thought that we were going to their house and that we needed to pack.  She made piles of DVD cases.  She put her pillow pets by the back door.  She packed three purses full of toys. 

I explained it to her again.  She seemed to understand.  Again.  Then about an hour later she wanted her suitcase out of the closet. 

I began to feel like I was in a remake of the movie Ground Hog Day only nothing that I did made any difference at all.  It was just the same conversations over and over.

Finally on Christmas Eve, much to my relief, Grandma and Grandpa did arrive.

Haley gave them both shy sheepish hugs and promptly went upstairs to her room.  Soon she came down with various toys, magazines and pictures that they hadn't seen before.  One at a time, of course. That went on most of the day.

Haley's voice left her, like it always does, but she did sit next to Grandpa on the couch kind of voluntarily. 

We were all watching football and Haley came in to the room.  She pointed at the opposite end of the couch from where Grandpa was sitting.  I told her she could sit there.  She did.  Then her Dad told her that she could sit closer to Grandpa if she wanted to and she scooted a foot closer.  Then Grandpa patted the couch right next to him and she scooted all the way.  She stayed there until it was time for her to go to bed.

Haley gave them both hugs every night before she went to bed.  I also reminded her several times that she could just give them hugs whenever she wanted to.  She did!  We went for a walk down by the river on Monday and Haley really enjoyed walking with them.  She kept up with them too.

I don't know if it is obvious to her Grandparents that she loves having them here.  It is obvious to me.  She was quiet, but she was thrilled.  

Tuesday morning they started packing their things.  When their car was loaded we gave them hugs again and thanked them for coming.  Haley left the room.  Then she came back in.  I told her she could give them another hug and she did.  Then we watched them drive away, waving the whole time. 

Then her voice came back. 

She started going over all of the things we did while they were here.  She talked about them driving away.  We talked about how they had probably put on their seat belts before they drove away.  A little later she started talking about a bridge.  She knows they have to drive over a bridge to get to their house.

Today she is still talking about the visit.  She is also talking about going to their house. 

She wants to pack.

Here we go again!

So soft...

When we visited Grandma and Grandpa a while back Haley's Grandma gave me a top and a sweater.  She didn't specify why she didn't want them she just told me if I wanted them that was great and if I didn't she wouldn't be offended.

I took them home and tried them on.

They both fit, but they really weren't my style.

I had a feeling that they would be someone's style, however.  Haley's.

I put them in her room and waited.  Sure enough, a little while later she brought me the sweater.  She stood there holding it with a question on her face.  I told her that it was from her Grandma and she immediately wanted to put it on.  She rubbed the sleeve and declared that it was "So soft!"

I mentioned that it smelled nice, it still smelled like Grandma. 

That did it.

That sweater became the most important article of clothing that Haley owns.  That is saying a lot, because Haley loves clothes.  Haley also has a drawer full of t-shirts depticting her favorite trains and steam engines and yet this sweater is her favorite.

She wants to wear it all of the time.  Even when it is not appropriate.  I hate seeing her walking around in a sweater when it is 80 degrees, but she does it.

As soon as she comes home from school she gets the sweater and puts it on.  Then she walks around rubbing the sleeve up and down saying "So soft..." and "Smells good..." even though it has been washed numerous times and no longer smells like Grandma.

One day Haley's Big Sis asked me why I don't put the sweater on her to go to school.  I hadn't really thought about it, but I really didn't really have an answer for her.  So the next day I made sure that Haley's outfit would coordinate with the sweater and I put it on her.  I buttoned the top button and sent her to school.

She came home with the sweater still on, even though it was very warm.  I realized that I should write this post about the sweater (Grandma doesn't know yet how important it has become) and I wanted to take a picture of Haley in it.  Haley was not in the mood to get her picture taken, but I got one smile.

This is Haley rubbing the sleeve.

She wanted to wear it again the next day.  She picked out a shirt that went pretty well with it so I let her.  She wanted it buttoned all the way up.  When she came home it was really too warm to wear it and I tried to explain that to her.  She wouldn't take it off.

A little while later she came up to me and patted her stomach proudly.  I could not figure out what she was trying to tell me.  She wanted me to follow her.  I did.  She pointed to the sweater on the chair and patted her tummy again.  I realized that she was trying to show me that she had taken the sweater off.

"Oh, you took the sweater off?  Is that more comfortable?"

"Yeah, better." she said.

Luckily Haley wanted to wear something else this morning. 

The other top that we got from Grandma.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Holding a small child's hand can be difficult. 

You hold their hand to keep them safe, like when you are crossing the street and all they want to do is run. 

You hold their hand to pull them the direction that you want to go while they are frantically pulling in the opposite direction. 

Sometimes those little fingers slip out of your hand because they are small, or wriggly, or slimy or because they are a good two to three feet lower than your hand comfortably hangs.

Holding a teenagers hand is something that few parents get to do.  Teenagers only hold other teenager's hands.

I still hold Haley's hand.

When we are crossing the street.  When we are walking through parking lots.  When we are at the grocery store or the mall.  When we are going up or down a flight of stairs.

She is almost my height now so our hands naturally hang down at about the same level.  Our hands are about the same size, so they fit.  I don't feel like I am holding her fingers anymore.   Our palms touch.   Her fingers curl around mine.  She actually holds my hand.  She doesn't try to pull away.

If it seems safe and if it seems like she will keep up with me I let her walk on her own now.  I am trying to let her be more independent.  She will reach out and take my hand.  Sometimes it feels like it is out of habit and sometimes it feels like she wants to.

We went for a walk with Grandma and Grandpa when we were staying at their house last weekend.  The roads that we were walking on were fairly busy so I held her hand most of the time.  We walked on a side road for a while that wasn't very busy so I let go.  It was warm and her hand was sweaty.

When we walk I sometimes have to pull her along.  It gets really tiring, especially if we are walking up hills.  Who am I kidding?  It just gets really tiring. 

So she would walk along on her own for a while and then she would sidle up to me and take my hand.

I like to hold Haley's hand these days.  It's different from holding her hand when she was little.  I am not holding her hand, we are holding each other's hands.

It is a comfortable feeling.

The other night the whole family was sitting in the living room watching television.  Haley's Dad and Big Sis were sitting on one couch and I was sitting on the other with Haley.  Haley reached over and slid her hand into mine.

We sat like that for quite a while, just holding hands.

It was nice.

Talking Her Down

Haley finally got to see her Grandparents...and the cow that lives behind them.

The day finally came.  She survived.  I survived.

She didn't say all of the things that she had practiced for three weeks.

"We're Here!" "Here we are!" "Love." "Hugs." "Nice."  "Hi, how are you?"  "Good."

She didn't say much, but from the look on her face I could tell that she was really happy.  She got to go to the Tree Farm and go on a long (tough) walk and ride Grandpa's tractor.  She spent much of the weekend doing what she does at home, playing on the computer, watching her shows, playing with her toys and eating, but she was happy because she was doing it at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

At the end of the weekend she sat on the couch with her Grandma looking at her railroad catalogs.  She ended up keeping one of Grandma's catalogs that she had saved for her in "the box."  Grandma said that she wished she had spoken more during the weekend.  She knows that Haley gets her voice back as soon as we drive away.  Haley's Grandma laughed about that.

When it was time to go she smiled and hugged and said "Goodbye" and then we got in the Yukon.

As we pulled away she started yelling "GOODBYE!  GOODBYE GRANDPA!  HEATHER!  GRANDMA!  GOODBYE!"

I backed the Yukon up and rolled down the windows so that she could say goodbye to her grandparents again.  They said goodbye.  Everyone waved and smiled.  We all turned and said goodbye to Heather.  Then I pulled away again.

Then it started.

She started crying.  Then she would yell.  Then she was quiet.  Then she yelled some more.  This went on for about ten minutes.  She started hitting the window.  Then her Dad got after her.  Then she really got upset and cried a lot. 

She was miserable.

We had planned to go to dinner not far down the road.  It was a restaurant that Haley's Big Sis wanted to go to and it was less than an hour away.  We had to get Haley to calm down.  I did the only thing I know to do.  I started reminding her of all of the fun we just had.  It seems counter productive, but for some reason for her, it works.

I reminded her that she got to see Heather.  I reminded her that she got to ride between her Grandma and Grandpa in their truck on the way to the Tree Farm and back again.  That was fun.  I reminded her that we got to walk among the trees at the Tree Farm.  She liked that.  I reminded her that she got to ride Grandpa's tractor.

"Was that fun, Haley?"

"Yeah."

"We had a lot of with Grandma and Grandpa didn't we?

"Yeah."

I thought about telling her that we were going out to eat, but I was afraid that giving her that goal as far away as an hour was going to be too much so I didn't.  She had basically already calmed down though.

I had talked her down.

I've Done It Again

When we got back home from our family vacation in Montana Haley immediately talking about going to visit Grandma and Grandpa.

We had been talking about visiting them, when Haley wasn't around. 

We decided that we should talk to them about it the next time they called.  We didn't want Haley to hear the conversation because we knew it would be awhile before we could visit and Haley doesn't really understand the concept of time.  Her Big Sis warned us - she said that Haley has a "Spidey Sense" about these things.

Grandma and Grandpa called at the regular time.  Haley got to "talk" to them, like she usually does.  Then I took the phone from her and handed it to her sister.  I told her that her sister wanted to talk to Grandma and Grandpa and then I asked her if she needed to use the bathroom.  It gave us enough time to verify the dates and get things worked out and then Haley got the phone back when she was done.

Everything seemed to go off without a hitch.

The next day when I walked into the kitchen Haley got out the dry erase markers and wanted me to write Grandma and Grandpa's house on the calendar.  I assumed that someone had told her.  It was almost August so I thought it was time to change the calendar anyway.  I cleaned July off the calendar and started adding August.  I put the visit to Grandma and Grandpa's on the calendar.

That started it.  She wanted to pack.

I tried to explain to her that it would be several weeks before we would go.  We counted the days.  I took her finger and pointed to each day as we counted.

It was no good.  She is like a broken record.  She will not stop.

Later in the day I asked her sister to help her make a paper chain like they do at school when they are counting down to an event.  That seemed to help for a little while.

The next day she was at it again.  She says she wants to "Go."  It has gotten to the point that I have to avoid that word all together.  If I use it in any context she immediately thinks I mean that we are going to Grandma and Grandpa's. 

I explain the situation to her again.  She gets mad. 

She has been having "two year old tantrums," actually throwing herself on the floor kicking and screaming.  Every morning we go through it again, she thinks that each morning we wake up it will be the day that we are going to leave.  We have spent the last three days with a very unhappy child and I am scared.  I understand time. 

She may not be counting the days, but I am.

Going Around Town

It often amazes me the things that Haley can find on the Internet.  Lately she has been "walking" around town.

Occasionally I check out what she has on the computer screen.  Today she has been all over town on Google Maps.  I was not surprised to find her at the train station, I assume she found a link to it through one of the train sites that she frequents.  I was, however, surprised to find her at the airport.  I don't know how she did that.

My husband is responsible for her new hobby.

At some point he typed in his parents address on Google Maps and looked at an aerial view of their property.  Haley saw it and recognized it as Grandma and Grandpa's house.  The funny thing is that you can even see Heather in the picture.  That map is saved in Haley's favorites and she often visits it. 

She knows how to find aerial maps and then she looks at the street view, then she moves around.  She was in the center of a four lane road at one point today.  I said "Haley, what are you doing in the middle of the street?"  She just laughed.

She uses Google Maps to look around at the buildings, the cars and even the people (whose faces are blurred.)  She seems to be completely entertained.

It's kind of cool.  I don't want her out walking the streets by herself, but I don't mind if she does it in "virtual reality."

Isn't it amazing what you can do on the Internet?

Pedal to the Metal

We were at Grandma and Grandpa's house for a short visit this last weekend.  I knew it was going to be short.  We planned to leave their house early on Sunday morning so that we would be home in time to watch the Super Bowl.

It usually takes Haley several days to get comfortable at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

She didn't have several days.

I whispered into her ear a couple of times that if she wanted to ride Grandpa's tractor she had better go and ask him.  I knew she wanted to.  Whenever we go to their house she wants to. 

It's a big deal.

Finally I got her to come with me and walk up to Grandpa.  I asked her to repeat after me.  I tried to get her to ask him if she could ride the tractor.  This weekend she was the quietest she had ever been around them.

I think she left her voice in the Yukon.

I ended up asking him myself and then asking Haley to agree with me.

That was when Grandpa reminded me that it was really getting hard to have her ride on his lap because of her long legs.  I had forgotten all about that.  He said "I don't know what we we're going to do."  I reminded him that we had talked about Grandma riding with her.  He said he would try it one more time, but if it didn't work that we would have to talk about it.

He told Haley that he needed to get the tractor ready and then he would bring it around to the house.

We got her shoes and jacket on.  We put on a pair of gloves.  We saw the tractor come around the corner and Haley headed out the door.  Grandpa stopped the tractor.  He got off and put a pair of sound attenuating earmuffs on her.

Grandpa helped her up into the seat.  He adjusted it up for her.  I remembered that he had mentioned that the seat needed a certain amount of weight on it or it would trip the safety switch.  It looked like she weighted it down enough.  He sat on the wheel well on the brake side and tried to explain to her that she could push on the gas pedal with her foot.

She just sat there.

I grabbed my coat and put my shoes on and headed out the door.

I walked around to the gas pedal side of the tractor and lifted her foot up.  I placed it on the pedal.  I pushed her foot just a little bit and the tractor moved forward a few inches.  She took her foot off.  I looked at her face.  She seemed to understand that she had done that. 

I put her foot back on the pedal and pushed her foot again.  She smiled when the tractor responded.  I told her to try it again.  She lifted her foot to the pedal and rested it there. 

Nothing happened.

I told her to push and I motioned with  my hands to push down.  She pushed her hand in the air, just like I had.

I walked up and pushed her foot again.

This time she got it and the tractor moved about two feet before she lifted her foot off again. 

By this time the tractor was almost onto the grass.  Grandpa told her to put her foot on the back pedal.  She didn't move.  I walked up and lifted her foot onto the back pedal and stepped back.  She pushed and the tractor went about four feet backward.  After that Haley was able to make the tractor go back and forth several times. 

Grandpa steered.

Eventually she was able to make the tractor go down the driveway and back with me walking along side.  Every once in a while I would have to remind her to push or to move her foot to the correct pedal, but she was doing it. 

She even lifted her foot off of the pedal when her Grandpa said "Stop."  I let him be in charge of that. 

I was so impressed and so proud.

She still would not hold on to the steering wheel and so consequently wouldn't steer, but I am so happy that we found a way that she can still ride the tractor with her Grandpa.

Toy Surprise

So, Haley came home with another toy surprise in her backpack today.  Again, no explanation.

It is a Leap Frog digital watch.  She thinks it is cool, of course, because they gave it to her at school.  I asked her if it was a prize or a treasure.  No answer.  I didn't really expect one.

They sent home the form that they usually send home. 

The note at the bottom of the form said how excited she was to share that she talked to Grandma and Grandpa on the phone last night.  Translation:  She listened to Grandma and Grandpa talk.  She gets to listen on the extension while her Dad talks to his parents.  All three of them ask her questions, but they never get responses.  Sometimes she nods her head or kind of silently giggles, but that is usually it.  I heard that she said "Hi" and "Bye" last night.

The note said that she was very happy today.  That she worked really hard.  That she watched Peter Pan during seventh period and that she enjoyed it.  It didn't say anything about the watch.

Her Dad set the time for her and put it on her wrist.

It will be interesting to see how long this lasts.  I actually have been thinking about getting her an identifying bracelet.  One that says what she cannnot, her name, my name, our phone number, her disability.  I haven't gotten her one yet because I was afraid that she wouldn't wear it.  It wouldn't be as bulky as the watch.

We shall see.

Time to Share

As I was making Haley's lunch this morning she came up to me and said "Grandpa's house tractor ride."  It took me a moment, but then I realized that she was starting to tell me what she did over the vacation so that I could fill out the form that she uses to share her home experiences with her teacher and aides.

I said "Hang on a sec, Haley," and I got her form; I wish I could have recorded what happened next, but it was happening fast and believe me I don't work fast in the morning.

I started to write something about Haley going to her Grandma and Grandpa's house and she just kept talking.

"Open presents, yay, 844. Boat ride. Lunch, yum, good. Heather. Horses, presents."; There was more, but like I said it's morning.

So to translate these are the things that I wrote about on her form:

Haley got to visit her Grandma and Grandpa over the vacation; While we were there she got to ride her Grandpa's John Deere tractor.

Haley is getting really too big to do this. It is kind of sad. Her Grandpa usually sits her in front of him on the seat so that he can operate the tractor. Her legs are so long that it is really difficult for him to do that. No way is she riding that thing solo. After some discussion we decided that next time Grandma is going to ride with her. Haley is actually taller than her Grandma now.

She also got to see Heather, the cow that lives behind Grandma and Grandpa.

Haley just loves seeing that cow. She got to feed her a branch after her ride on the tractor.

Haley also got to ride in a ferry and we had lunch.

We went on a special trip with the express purpose of riding a new ferry. This is quite a story. I will write about it soon.

Haley loved opening presents. She got a new stable for her toy horses, four new horses, Toy Story 3 figurines and some train videos.

You can read about her gifts here.

Haley watched her new UP 844 video.

That is really the only video she has watched since we got home.

Haley went train watching with her Dad.

This is something she does every Sunday and this last Sunday was no exception.

Haley went shopping and bought four new pairs of pants.

This seems like ancient history now, but a couple of days before Christmas I took her shopping. We spent a lot of time in the dressing room trying on many pairs of pants. My assumptions about her size were way off.  I actually bought her pants that were four sizes bigger than I would have guessed.  We got some really good deals.

Haley had honey mustard chicken, rice and veggies.

We always report what she ate the night before.

Haley had a bath.

Those are the things that Haley did on her vacation; those are the things that she wanted me to write on her form. I told her that if she was that excited to tell me all she had to do was go to school and tell her teacher, she really didn't need the form.

I know better.

She will clam up when she gets to school, but hopefully if they read the form back to her they may get one or two words out of her. My guess is that they will be:

"Grandpa."

"Tractor."

"Ride."

Will Wonders Never Cease?

I am just sitting here, quietly, contemplating how much my daughter has grown this year.  I don't mean her height or weight, though she has grown that way as well.  She has matured this year, her thirteenth year.

A couple of days ago we received a package from my Mom.  Haley loves packages.  We had to open it. 

Actually Haley's Big Sis grabbed it and started opening it, so I can't really put it on Haley. 

My Mom had wrapped the presents inside and labeled them, of course.  Haley can recognize her own written name now, so she new exactly which ones were hers.  She wanted to open them, but I told her that we were going to wait until Saturday.  "Saturday is Christmas Day, that is when we open presents."

That was a bit hard for her, but I asked her to put all of the presents under the tree.  She felt important doing that, so it was OK.  We have never put presents under the tree.  I was fully prepared to hide them if there was a problem, but they are still there.

She sits in that room next to the tree.  She sits in the chairs that flank the tree, or she sits on the floor in front of the tree.  She has quite a collection of toys that she has been playing with while she sits there.  If someone walks by she will point to the presents.  She says "presents" or "Christmas" or her version of "Saturday," which really doesn't sound much like Saturday. 

She hasn't opened them. 

I think if any of us were to tell her that she could they would be open in a heartbeat, but she is being very patient.  I think that she is showing a new level of maturity that I have never seen in her before.

We changed up the Holiday Season on her this year, first by having Thanksgiving here and having Grandma and Grandpa come to our house.  Now we are planning to go to their house after Christmas.  She knows we are going. 

For a while she seemed more excited about going to their house than she was for Christmas.  I have both occasions written on the calendar that hangs on the refrigerator.  She points to the days that are marked Grandma and Grandpa's House, but she hasn't been pointing to Christmas.  I have explained the timing to her several times.  I say that we are going after Christmas, after we open our presents.

I think she has finally accepted it.  In desperation about a week ago I actually put on the calendar the day that we would pack so that she would stop asking to pack her "case."  I think she has come to terms with the timing.

I actually think she gets it.

I am so proud.