I Must Confess

Mom confession:  Some days I am so thankful that I can put my daughter on that school bus.

Today was one of those days.

Haley has been short tempered all weekend.  She spent a good portion of Sunday growling (?) groaning (?) moaning (?) bitching under her breath.  It is hard to describe the sound that she makes, but it is not hard to discern the intent.  She is not happy with the status quo and she wants everyone in the house to know about it.

I have no idea what set her off.

Everything seemed fine as far as I could tell.  The thing with her is that she can't tell me the reason and it could be that she doesn't feel well, I did something to upset her, I didn't do something that she expected or maybe she just got up on the wrong side of the bed. 

There is only one side, by the way.

So today didn't seem to be any different.  She woke up a little earlier than I did and was sitting at her laptop when I came downstairs.  I went in to say good morning and give her a little hug and a kiss and I got a grunt.

When I asked her to come in and eat her breakfast she did, but I could tell from her body language that it was against her better judgement.  I had to remind her to take bites all through breakfast.  It was getting close to the time that she needed to get dressed and she still had several bites to go.

We went upstairs to get her dressed.  She was very annoyed through the entire process.  Then came the time when I wash her glasses and they were not on the counter in her bathroom like they usually are.  I went in to her bedroom and looked on her dresser.  Then I asked her if she knew where her glasses were.  Her hands immediately flew up to her eyes and then she said "EYES!"   

I said "I know they are not on your eyes.  I can't find them.  Do you know where they are?"  A question like that - that specific question - never gets a good response.

I went downstairs and looked at the desk where she spends most of her time.  I didn't see them so I went back upstairs and looked in all the same places again, even though I had already looked there and knew full well that they were not there.

By this point Haley was a mess.  She was angry.  She kept touching her eyes and screaming "GLASSES!"

I followed her downstairs saying "You will just have to go to school without your glasses today."

She sat down in the chair at the desk with her laptop on it in a very huffy mood.  I started sorting through the piles of doll clothes, horses and matchbox cars that were strewn all over the floor under the desk.  She said "Glass!"

I said "I know Haley, but I don't know where they are!"

She bent over and reached under the desk on the opposite side of the chair that I was on and then turned and handed me her glasses.

I said "Thank you for getting me your glasses." 

Then I walked in to the kitchen and washed them.  I handed them back to her and she put them on.  All the while she was making the growling (?) groaning (?) moaning (?) bitching under her breath sound.

So when the bus came, I was happy to put her on it.



~ Haley's Mom

I am participating in 31 for 21 Blog Challenge this month. The challenge I have accepted is to blog every day in October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. Learn more about Down Syndrome at the National Association of Down Syndrome.

Another Eye Appointment

Haley had an eye appointment yesterday.  She did really well.  She doesn't need a new prescription and her glasses are holding up well so I guess we will go another year with them.

There has been an appeal at our church for used glasses so I got out all of Haley's old glasses.  It has been very nostalgic for me.  Looking at them reminds me of all of the years that she has worn them.  I thought it would be fun to look back at pictures of her in them, the only problem is that I don't have very many pictures of her wearing her first couple of pairs.

This is the first pair of glasses she had.  She got them when she was four months old.  Notice the straps.  We had to strap them to her head.  At four months old all she did was roll around and then when she crawled they would have fallen off it they weren't strapped on.  It wasn't a perfect system however.  Also notice that there are two pairs and that they are both broken.  I am not sure if there was a design defect or if they were never tested for someone so small.  She used to take them off and chew on them.  I don't have any pictures of her in these.

This is the next pair of glasses that she had.  Notice how the white part of the glasses wrap around the ear.  Great idea, in theory.  They are also quite chewed up.

These were so cute.  She did better with them and I really liked the fact that they were metal.  They seemed almost indestructible.  The rubbery part on the earpiece is chewed up though.  I do have a couple pictures of her in these.

The next pair lasted a long time.  I loved the color on these, and that they are wire frames.  I won't ever get plastic glasses for her again.

I have lots of pictures of her in this pair.

Then there is the pair that she wears now.  She has had them since 2006.  She is pretty good to them.  She will put them on all by herself if we forget.  I think she is used to them by now.  I love the fact that they are blue, they go with her eyes.

Haley's Glasses

Haley has had glasses since she was about four months old.  Her eyes continued to cross long after they should have stopped.  That was the initial reason for the glasses, we know now that she has astigmatism as well.  Her glasses are mainly to help the eye crossing. Over the years we have had to patch one eye or the other so that one eye does not get weaker than the other. The eye doctor scared me once saying that if something were to happen to the strong eye she would lose her sight. 

We later learned that she has no depth perception.

It is extremely hard for me to imagine what that might be like.  When she started walking it was a real obstacle.  Parking stripes were difficult to navigate, when we approached an accessible parking space she did not want to step on to it.  She couldn't tell if it was a step up or a hole that she would fall into.  She had to trust me that I wouldn't lead her somewhere dangerous.  It took her a long time to do that.

Play structures are the worst.  I am sure you have seen those big wooden or metal play structures on playgrounds.  Haley had problems stepping up on to them of course, but she also had the problem of stepping off of them.  If the surface of the structure was the same color as the ground material it sat on she would try to step right off.  Sometimes that could be a four or five foot drop,

As an architect I had been dealing with ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) issues concerning designing enough parking places, the correct design of accessible ramps, the right layout for accessible restrooms and more.  It wasn't until I became the mother of a child with accessibility issues that it really hit home.  My biggest pet peeves are surface changes without a color or texture difference. 

Once when she was little she got away from me in a grocery store, she started heading down the aisle and almost smacked into an oncoming cart.  She didn't realize how close it was to her.

Haley has gotten used to our house, she knows where to step up and down.  Sometimes she will trip on a cord or a toy if she is not paying attention.  Occasionally I am happy to see her step over something, but it is a matter of trial and error and also practice.  She is better about stepping on and off curbs now, I think her long legs help her there.  She always uses the handrail in new situations and inches her foot toward the edge of the step.  She still relies on our help.  She hates escalators, but we are working on that.

I don't really understand how the glasses might help her depth perception, I don't think they do, the doctor said she would just have to get used to it. 

It was hard to have an infant in glasses.  The first pair we got her had a strap around the back of her head so they wouldn't fall off when she was crawling.  We have gone through lots of glasses in her twelve years, but I have been amazed how long some of them last.  She is usually pretty careful with them.

When she doesn't have them on it really changes her appearance.  I used to take them off for pictures so there wasn't a glare on them, actually the photographers wanted me to do that.  I realized that we were not getting an accurate representation of our daughter so we don't do it anymore. 

The other day my husband had gotten her dressed, but had forgotten to put her glasses on her.  I had seen her walking through the house and she had her glasses on so I thought nothing of it.  He came in the room and asked me if I had put them on her.  We decided she must have gotten them and put them on her self. It seems that they have become a part of her.