Encouraging Words

Amazingly I have spent most of the last three days sitting here working on the computer and yet I haven't sent a single blog post...

I am really enjoying a new sense of freedom and empowerment that comes from a child who understands me and responds accordingly.  I am able to say things like "Go to the bathroom, please."  or "Go upstairs and get dressed." or "Pick up your Barbie clothes, please."

And she does it!

It started out simply enough.  I asked Haley to go to the bathroom.  She walked into the bathroom, turned on the light and shut the door.  I stood there with my mouth gaping open staring at the closed door.  I listened.  I heard the sound of the lid being lifted.  I heard the sound of her pull-ups being pulled-down.  Quiet...then I heard a little tinkle, tinkle.  I was getting excited...then I heard "Done."

Oh.

She wasn't really "done," but it was encouraging.

From the other side of the door I said "Do you need help?"  She said "Yeah."  So I went in.  I helped her wipe and take her pants all the way off and put on a new pull-up.  I think if the pull-up hadn't been wet she would have just pulled her pants back up.  I know she can do that.

The other day (on a whim) I asked Haley to go upstairs and get dressed.  I went about my business downstairs.  Time passed.  Then from the top of the stairs I heard her Dad praising her and asking me if I knew what she was doing.  I had some idea of what she was doing, but I went upstairs to see what was going on. 

Haley was wearing pants. 

That's it.  She was carrying her bra and her top and she was heading down the stairs to find me.  I think my husband was a bit taken aback by the situation, but I was thrilled.

I have been using my new found freedom a lot lately.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  When it works it is really great!

She is Listening

The other day I was watching television in the living room and Haley walked in.  Her stable was in the middle of the room.  She picked up a basket full of horses and then reached for the stable with the other hand.

"Haley, you won't be able to carry both of those,"  I said.

She tried again.

"Haley, take the basket now and then come back for the stable."

She stood and thought about that for a few seconds and then she turned and walked out of the room.  A few minutes later she came back and pointed to the stable and grunted.

"You can pick the stable up now, you can use both hands."

She looked at me.  After a beat she bent down and picked up the stable.  She turned it and adjusted her grip on it and started to head out of the room.

"See Haley, I told you you could do it," I said.

She said "Good Job."

The Next Thing

As I was helping Haley get dressed this morning she looked over at the tiny calendar that hangs on the wall by her bed and said "Christmas presents coming."  So I guess that is what's next.

Then we went in to the bathroom to comb her hair and brush her teeth and she kept talking about Christmas presents.  I asked her what she wanted for presents.  She said "Green. Red." 

"Oh, you are talking about the wrapping paper.  What do you want to be in the presents?"

She thought about that for a moment and then she said, "Horses, mmmm, horses, dolls, mmmm, horses, mmmm, horses, cars, trains, mmmm, horses, horses."

Well, that was easy.

We went downstairs and she headed for the laundry room to see Shadow like she usually does.  I got her shoes and her coat out of the closet and went around the corner to wait for her.  She followed me around the corner and I looked up to see that she was carrying a box.  I was startled.  I looked at it.  She had gotten out the box of wrapping paper.  I told her we didn't have time to do any wrapping because the bus would be here soon and I put the box away.  Then she got mad at me. 

"Presents!" she yelled.  Oh, joy! 

"Haley, we will be able to open presents on Christmas Day, today is the 3rd so we have 22 days to wait." 

"22 days."

"Yes."

Good From Bad

OK, that title is deceiving, but I will try to explain.

Haley wants to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house, she has made that abundantly clear.  Her Big Sis came home from school yesterday and said "Haley wants to go to Grandma and Grandpa's doesn't she?"  I asked her how she knew that.  She said that she had heard her talking about it and also that she had seen the pile of videos and magazines and that her purse is packed.  She also noticed the white board on the refrigerator.

Haley got the white board out yesterday morning and wanted me to write some things on it.  I wrote Grandpa, Grandma, Heather, Tractor, Haley, 4449 Daylight, her sister's name and Shadow.  Haley told me exactly what to write.  She likes to go up to the refrigerator and read what I wrote.

Haley can say Grandpa, but she has always had trouble with Grandma.  I don't know why.  Certain sounds flummox her.  I think that both of her Grandma's found it disheartening that she didn't say Grandma.  I think in her head that is what she was saying, it just always comes out Grandpa.

Now that she has them both written up there she has made the distinction.  It is obvious to me that it is an effort for her to say Grandma, but she can.  I am really excited about it. 

I also noticed that she has a hard time saying Shadow.  I don't think about it very much because I know what she means when she says it, but it sounds more like Yadow. I asked her to try it a couple of times and I told her to put the "sh" sound on it.  She tried a couple of times, but didn't really get it.

This morning she walked up to the refrigerator and read through all of the words.  She said "Grandma" plain as day and then when she got to Shadow she said "Shayadow."  I am so proud of her.

So yeah, she is driving me crazy with her insistence on going to Grandma and Grandpa's, but she is learning to say some more words and she is reading.  Good from bad, see.

No Holes

A couple of weeks ago Haley was looking at one of her train websites and she saw some earrings that she liked.  She didn't know that they were earrings, they were railroad heralds and she thought they were cool.  I told her what they were for and showed her my ears and told her that she didn't have holes in her ears so she didn't really have a use for earrings. 

It wasn't really a big deal because the next item was a necklace with the same herald.  I told here that a necklace would be much better for her anyway.

This morning Haley came to me during breakfast pointing to her ears and jabbering about her ears.  I didn't know what she was talking about so I followed her.  She had a catalog open to a certain page and she pointed to the earrings at the top of the page.  They were tiny railroad crossing signs.  They were adorable.

I told her again that she didn't have holes in her ears.  She said "No holes."  I told her there was a lot more to earrings than just finding a cute pair.  I know she doesn't understand, but I am not about to put holes in her ears.

Daylight Shirt

When we got home from Montana it didn't take Haley long to remember that she wanted to earn money for her Daylight shirt.  She went right over to the refrigerator and started counting.  She had four more dollars to go.

In the morning she saw her bag of videos that she had taken to Grandma's house sitting by the TV.  She pointed at it.  I said "Are you going to put those away for a Daylight Dollar?"  She said "Go away."  I knew that meant that she would, it didn't take her long and she had them put away and she handed me the bag.

She helped me load the dishwasher and then she helped her Big Sis take out the recycling.  That is working out really well, Big Sis likes to help her earn her Daylight Dollars so we don't have to hound her to take out the recycling.

She was down to needing one Daylight Dollar.

Yesterday she was in no mood to do any chores for me.  I didn't push it.  I gave her the opportunity a couple of times, but if she didn't want to do it I just let it go.  It was kind of late in the day when she finally decided that she would empty the dishwasher (she puts away the silverware and the plastic cups.)  We went over to the refrigerator and crossed off the last dollar.

While she was celebrating I ram upstairs and got fifteen ones out of my purse.  I came back down and counted them into her hand.  She helped me count.  Then I told her to show her money to her sister while I got the package that had arrived in the mail while we were in Montana.  I had ordered the shirt before we left so I she would have instant gratification.

She came back to me and I showed her the package.  I asked her to count out the fifteen dollars into my hand and then I handed her the package.  She was so excited.  We held the shirt up to her and we talked about it.  We even went into the downstairs bathroom  and turned off the light so that she could see that it glows in the dark.  I don't think she cares about that.

I was going to throw the package away when I noticed that there was a new catalog in it.  She likes the new catalog. 

She has already figured out what she wants next.  She has her eye on a DVD which is twenty dollars.  That should take just a little longer to earn, but I think she has the concept now. 

She never got anxious about the wait for her shirt and actually she didn't even question the fact that she would get it.  She really got into the process of earning it.  It has been really fun for all of us.  Who knew?

That's The Way it Should Work

We are planning another trip, this time to see my Mom.  We didn't hint about it ahead of time, and Haley didn't find out until today.  It works so much better that way.  It didn't stop her from going in to "full scale packing mode" however.

Last night my husband had an atlas and some maps out.  When Haley sees maps she gets suspicious, it usually means someone is going somewhere (usually Dad.)  She seemed interested in the maps so he started telling her about the maps.  They talked about the map that the atlas was open to and who might live in that area.  Grandma C.

Then she came downstairs and found me and said "Grandma C*****".  I assumed at that point that he had told her where we were going so I said "Are we going to see Grandma C?" and she said "Yeah!"

This morning while I was in the shower Haley took all of her clothes out of her drawers and piled them on her bed.  She came and got me and brought me in to see what she had done and said "case" which means "suitcase"  I know that now.  The first time she said that to me several months ago I had no idea what she was telling me because it sounds more like "keys."

So we counted out the right amount of outfits and put the rest back in her drawers.

She packed her horses into a green purse that was in her closet.  She packed all of the videos that she wants to take.  She packed her laptop and her computer games.

Then she started bringing me food.  I thought she wanted a snack at first, but I soon realized that she was packing snacks.  A few minutes ago I walked in to the kitchen to find those first snack items that she had picked out on the island along with a box of cereal, a bottle of barbecue sauce and a carton of coconut milk ice cream.

Right now I can hear her coming down the stairs with her suitcase.  Thud.  Thud.  Thud.

I need to start packing.  If I wait too long Haley will start packing for me and I have no idea what that might entail.

Daylight Dollars

I may regret this.  You would think I would learn, especially after the twelve day period that I just went through, but here I go again.

Haley is a shopper.  She loves to shop.  She loves clothes. She doesn't seem to think that she can get to a point where she has enough clothes.  She is always on the search for that elusive special shirt that she just can't live without.

I needed to go to the mall on Sunday.  Haley's Dad was not home and Haley's Big Sis needed to go with me (we were returning a video game and it was apparently urgent.)  So I had to take Haley.  I tried to explain to her before we left what we would be doing.  We were going to a specific store within the mall and that would be the only store we were going in to.  We were not going to go to another store.  We were not going to buy anything.

We had just been to a store a couple of days earlier (for Haley's Big Sis) and Haley walked out of it with a big bag.  I am so weak.

Anyway, it didn't matter what I said before, during or after.  Haley was upset that she didn't get to buy anything.

Later on that day she was looking at her Historic Rail catalog and she saw a t-shirt with the Daylight steam engine on it.  It is black and it looks like the white steam and other white parts of the shirt might glow in the dark, much like the 700 shirt she already has.  I told her that. 

"Haley, it's just like the one you have with the 700 on it."

"Daylight."

Oh, right.  It is different.  My bad.

She is starting to get the concept of money.  She knows that she needs money if she is going to the mall with her class.  She knows Mom puts money in her wallet when she needs it.  She knows if there are numbers next to something in a JCPenney's ad it means - money. 

She pointed to the picture of the t-shirt in the catalog and said "Money."  I told her that it was fifteen dollars.

Then I got an idea.  What if I had her do some chores to earn the money.  I had already asked her to pick up her videos and put them away (and she hadn't done it.)  I thought that if she had some incentive she just might.  I asked her if she wanted to buy the shirt.  She said "Yeah."  I told her that she needed fifteen dollars.  I told her that if she picked up her videos and put them in the cabinet I would give her one dollar.  I said "Would you pick up your videos for one dollar?"  She said "Yeah."  She bent down and picked up her entire stack of videos and headed for the cabinet.  I could see disaster all over that, I watched her take a few steps and put them on the ottoman.

I realized I was going to have to be more specific.  I showed her how to stack each one on the table by the cabinet and then I showed her how to put each one in the cabinet.  I walked away.  It must be noted that both her Dad and her Big Sis were witnesses to this whole thing, they were not much help though.  Haley's Dad made a comment about how she was doing and I looked over to see her stacking all of the videos up too high.  I had to come back and show her how to make them fit within the cabinet.  When she was all done I said "Good Job!" and I showed her the chart on the fridge that I had quickly made on a white board.  I showed her the fifteen squares and then I filled one in.  She was excited.

Since then she has put away all of her toys and helped me empty the dishwasher.  I am going to have to think of more things for her to do.  She doesn't like to wait so she will want to move this along.  She is already eyeing a video on the same page that is 30 dollars. 

She is very excited about earning her dollars though, she started calling them Daylight Dollars.  I thought it was appropriate.

Bless You

I have been busy lately, and a little distracted.  I am working on a project that keeps me at my desk and on the computer.  Haley has been keeping herself entertained, for the most part.  She has really been playing with her toys, which I think is kind of a reaction to losing so many.

She took a break from playing toys and wanted to watch a movie.  She brought me the DVD and then she wanted to be covered up with a blanket.  If you know Haley you know that only means she wants Shadow to join her too.  I got her all set up and then she wanted popcorn.  After I made her popcorn I went back in to my office and sat down.

Every now and then Haley would grunt.  She chose to watch the "extra stuff" from Monters, Inc., which means that I have to push a button every five minutes or so.  I didn't have the patience for that so I tried (yet again) to get her to use the remote.  I showed her which buttons to push and I asked her to push them.  When the show actually started playing I made a big deal out of it and told her that she had done it.

She actually pushed the button a couple of times, I could hear the different segments starting.  I was really proud of her and really surprised.  Then I heard the grunt again.  I came around the corner to see what was going on.  There was a lot going on.  Haley's Big Sis is good at setting the reminder on the cable box to the shows that she wants to watch, but then sometimes she isn't even home and the TV reminds her anyway.  That reminder had come up on the screen and Haley had started pushing buttons.  The setup screen was blinking.  I finally had to turn everything off to get control of it again.

So that kind of backfired on me.  Haley was no longer interested in pushing the buttons.  I told her that she needed to watch the movie, so that I didn't have to keep getting up.  I got that going and went back in to my office.

A little while later she had put in a VHS tape, the silly player that we have plays both VHS and DVD's.  It will play them both at the same time, so if she puts in a tape it starts playing it (sometimes) while the DVD keeps running.  I heard the Pixar short Tin Toy start up. 

If you haven't seen it, it is cute.  A baby gets a new toy that makes music, but the baby is not gentle with it's new toy.  We soon learn that the baby isn't gentle with any of it's toys.  Anyway, in this short the baby sneezes.  Right after the baby sneezed Haley said "Bless You." 

It made my day.

Daylight. Back. Box.

My daughter has been saying this for several weeks.  I am glad that I know what it means, or I might have gone completely bonkers by now.

When Haley and her Big Sis got to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's a while back she "borrowed" a catalog from their house.  She recognized the catalog because we had received the same one in the mail.  It is a catalog of train related items, things like; train decor, videos, books, puzzles and such. 

She really likes the item on the cover of the catalog.  It is something that I think she has decided that she wants in her bedroom.  I am not sure that she will get it, because it is relatively expensive, but she does like it.  So when she saw the catalog at Grandma and Grandpa's house I think she thought it was hers.  I don't think she had packed that catalog, but she assumed it was hers when she was packing to come back home.

Well, the day after we got home she had come across the catalog that was here and she put the two catalogs side by side on the table.  When I saw them I realized what had happened and I told her that she must of grabbed Grandma and Grandpa's catalog by mistake.  After a series of conversations about this she has come to the conclusion that she needs to return the catalog to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

So not only is she anxious to see Grandma and Grandpa for all of the normal reasons; giving them hugs, seeing Heather and riding Grandpa's tractor, she also wants to return their catalog.  She talks about it constantly.  Everyday we go over how many days it will be until she can see them.  We are counting it down on our fingers and checking the calendar. 

Every time we talk about it she says "Daylight. Back. Box."  Loosely translated this means: "I am going to return the catalog with the Daylight on the front of it to the box at Grandma and Grandpa's house where they keep all of their magazines." 

I have told her several times that Grandma and Grandpa probably don't miss the catalog, they in fact are probably happy you have it because you enjoy it so much, but it doesn't matter.  She has decided that what she did was wrong and it is time to set it right.  So I have to remind her that it is not really time yet, but in will be in four days.

Cake with Candles

Blowing out the candles on her birthday cake has always been one of Haley's favorite things about her birthday.  This year was no exception.  She knew the cake was made and frosted.  She is very good about waiting for dessert.  She has learned that she has to eat her meal before she can have dessert.

It's pretty funny actually how that connection has played out over the years.  If she wants a treat she will ask for food and then when she is done eating she will ask for the treat.  The first time she did this I didn't catch on until it was too late.  I just thought she was hungry, but in fact it was just logical to her that if she can't have the treat until she has eaten then she must eat in order to have the treat,  I was actually quite proud of her for thinking that through.

This is Haley enjoying her birthday cake with a candle on it.  We have given her the one candle on her piece of cake rather than thirteen candles on the whole cake because she can't even blow out the one candle by herself.  I don't see the point of frustrating her by giving her thirteen of them.  She likes her one candle though.  I help her blow it out.

You'll notice in this picture that she is not even trying to blow the candle out.  She makes the slightest blowing sound, but it doesn't have enough power to actually extinguish the flame.

So at lunch the next day Haley eats her lunch and then asks for cake.  I get up to cut her a slice and she says "Candle."

"You want me to put a candle on your cake?"

"Yeah."

I set the cake down on the table in front of her.  She looks at me.  "Do you want me to sing?"

"Yeah."

So I sing her the Birthday Song again and we blow out the candle and then she can eat her cake.

Haley has wanted me to put a candle on her piece of cake, light it, present it to her, and sing her the song every time she has had cake since then.  She has wanted this after lunch and after dinner.  She says "Cake with candle."

There is only one piece of cake left.

Making Connections

When Haley makes associations it lets me know that she is thinking.  There is a lot going on up there.  Haley has had trouble with time, but I know she does make connections. 

Haley's birthday is around Independence Day.   For years she really didn't even know that we celebrate on the 4th of July.  We celebrate her birthday.  She is a really good sleeper and when she was younger she had an early bedtime.  We would put her to bed and she would sleep through the fireworks.  I don't know how she did it, it sounds like a war zone in our neighborhood.  Several neighbors get together and set off fireworks right in front of our house.  A couple of years ago we decided to let her stay up and celebrate the holiday with us.  She loved it. 

A few months later it was her Grandpa's birthday and we decided to call him on the phone and sing the Happy Birthday song to him.  That night she wouldn't go to bed.  She kept getting up and she was very agitated.  I didn't know what was wrong.  Finally she said "Boom. Bang."  It took me a minute to realize that she was associating a birthday with fireworks, not just her birthday.  She knew it was Grandpa's birthday and she thought that we should have fireworks for him too.

Two days before school was out Haley started to talk about swimming.  Haley likes to swim in the summer.  I looked out the window and our kiddie pool was in the yard.  We don't know how it got out there.  My husband didn't do it, I didn't do it, and Haley's Big Sis didn't do it.  The pool was in the girl's playhouse.  My husband went out and looked and came back and said that the playhouse door was closed and locked.  I don't know when she did it, but apparently she went out sometime without us knowing about it got out the pool and locked the door and came back in.  That is a mystery. 

The point is that she knew that school was ending, summer was beginning and it was time to swim.  Never mind that it was only about 50 degrees outside and raining.