A Little Affection

Every morning when I put Haley on the bus she buckles herself in, I give her a kiss and tell her to Have a nice day!  Then I step off of the bus turn around and wave goodbye.

Over the years this routine has changed very little.

It took her awhile to be able to buckle herself in, but what I do has always been the same.

Some of her bus drivers encouraged Haley to wave back at me or to say Bye Mom.  She did wave back when she was really little, but she hasn't done that for years.  That doesn't change my routine.

I was a little hurt when she stopped waving back.  I am a little sad that she doesn't say anything to me.  I would really like it if she did both of those things, but what I have noticed lately is that she seems to really like it that I do what I do.

My child does not complain when I give her a kiss.  I know that is not normal behavior for a fifteen year old.  This is one instance where I am happy that she is not "normal."  She also has gotten really good at giving me hugs and acquiescing whenever I want to give her one, but that doesn't happen on the bus.  She doesn't smile either.  She just accepts it.

What I have noticed is that as I step off of the bus and turn around she is looking.  She watches to see that I am going to wave.  Again, she doesn't smile, but she watches.  I noticed that this morning.  She has a substitute bus driver this week and when she has a sub she tends to be a little on edge.  I can sense that she knows things are amiss.  So she was watching for me to turn and smile and wave.  And I did.  And she kind of nodded.  She didn't smile.  Somehow I just knew that she acknowledged me and it felt good.

So, today I am grateful that I can still show my teenage daughter affection in public and that she seems to be glad that I do.

~Haley's Mom, Thankfully

This month I am focusing on Gratitude.  What are you thankful for today?

Should I Apologize?

That is a rhetorical question.

Maybe a better question would be "Should I feel sorry?"

Let me explain.

This week is a testing week at my daughters' school.  The testing is for sophomores.  My daughters are not sophomores.  One is a freshman and one is a junior.  So the testing does not apply to them.

I got a phone call from the school telling me that only the sophomores need to go to school at the regular time (7:30 a.m.) and that all of the other students don't have to be there until 9:30 a.m.  Then the voice on the message said that the buses would be running on the regular schedules.

What?

Well, Haley's Big Sis was all over that.  

She would not be going to school until 9:30 a.m.  Done deal.  She also wants to drive to school all week, because that would be for convenient for me.  Sweet thing.  (Can you hear the sarcasm when you read that?)

That is just fine, but I was still stuck on the buses running at regular time while my child doesn't need to be there until 9:30 a.m.

So yesterday morning I asked Haley's bus driver what was up.  Would she be picking Haley up in the morning this week or not?  She told me that she would check and let me know when she brought Haley back in the afternoon.

So I waited.

When the bus came around the corner I ran out to talk to her.  She said that Haley had a note from the teacher, but the gist was that Haley could go to school at regular time and the bus would come and get her or I could take her later.  It was up to me.

So I asked her if Haley would have something to do.  Would the teacher and helpers be there for her?  The answer was Yes.  

So I said "See you in the morning."

What would you have done?

Another rhetorical question.

I did what I did for several reasons.  

Believe me there was a little voice inside my head saying "You could sleep in every day this week!"  

But, there was another little voice inside my head that said "Haley won't."

So, if Haley is up and the bus will come to get her and her teacher is there for her she is going to school.

Done deal.

Ready. Set. Go.

The first day of school seemed to be a success.  The bus driver had called me a week before and told me that she would be there at 8:40 to pick Haley up.  She was there and she was off.  It was nice to have a quiet house for a change.  I didn't have to get up every fifteen minutes to make her a snack.  I actually had time to do what I needed to do.  I was surprised numerous times throughout the day that I had still more time.  It was great.  She came home about the time that the bus driver anticipated and she said that school was "Fun."

The next morning we were following the same routine, eating our breakfast, when the phone rang.  It was the school.  Haley's bus would be there at 8:10 because of some scheduling changes.  I asked if this was just for today or if it would be the normal time.  It will be the normal time.  So I hung up and quickly got Haley dressed and ready.  We made it, but just barely. 

Haley will now be the first one picked up in the morning and the last one off the bus at the end of the day.  Good thing she likes the bus.

I basically gained an hour.

Eighth Grade

Wednesday was the first day of school.  Haley is in the eighth grade this year.  She is still going to the same school that she went to last year, but she has a new teacher. 

She has a new bus driver too.  We waited for the bus in the garage because it was raining.

She had her favorite CD all ready to go.

The Short Bus

I have heard the jokes.  I just ignore them.  I am sure the people who told them weren't thinking.  I didn't see an advantage to making them feel bad.  They really don't understand.

The short bus is awesome!

Haley has been riding the short bus since 2001.  I was so grateful that the bus would be coming to our house to pick her up, taking her to school and then bringing her back to our house, not only because it would be convenient but because it would be safe. 

I did not like the idea of my baby getting on a great big bus full of great big kids.  Kids that did not understand or appreciate her.  The short bus has been a blessing.

Haley began preschool when she was two, but I always drove her.  I quit my full time job as an architect in 2000 and that was the year that big sister went off to morning kindergarten.  In 2001 both of my babies got on busses and headed off to full day school.  I was not ready for that.  I was a blubbering idiot most of the day.

Thinking back about the short bus I couldn't resist a walk down memory lane.  I have pictures of the first day of school for every year except 2003, we went on a cruise that year that coincided with the first week of school and I forgot to ask her grandparents to take a picture.

This is Haley getting on that BIG little bus for the first time.

This broke my heart.  I was glad that she was safely secured, she would have gotten up if she hadn't been, but my mommy mind was more worried that something would happen to the driver and she couldn't get out.

Haley has had some great bus drivers.  The first couple of years they would kind of scare me by sending out a driver to pick her up the first couple of days and then switch them.  Apparently the drivers get to choose their routes based on seniority.  Usually by the second week of school we would have her regular driver.

Depending on the driver they would strap her in or I would.  She has started securing her own seat belt this year.  She also undoes her seat belt and gets up this year too.  I usually watch out the window for the bus, but sometimes it is early or I am engrossed in something and I forget.  The bus driver lets Haley get off the bus and ring the doorbell on those occasions.  She loves that.

Haley's bus drivers have always loved her.  She loves to ride the bus.  She is never a problem.  She is quiet and sweet.  She does sit by herself though.  They have only put someone next to her once.  I don't know what happened but it didn't last a day.

A couple of years ago Haley had a bus driver that let the kids bring CD's onto the bus to listen to. He let them take turns. Haley loved that. She liked to bring her soundtrack CD's from The Road to El Dorado and Spirit Stallion of the Cimmaron.

Haley got on the bus this year with her CD in her hand. The bus driver just looked at me quizzically. I told her that her last bus driver let her listen to it and she agreed that it would be OK.  I actually prefer it.  If that CD wasn't in they would be listening to the radio.

This year Haley's bus driver really enjoys her. She loves her fashion sense and she thinks that she is funny.  I love it when she shares something about her day.  The aides sometimes tell the bus driver things that they don't write on the paper that comes home with her so it is just another way that I can stay informed.

Every year we try to get Haley to be social with her bus driver.  She has never used her bus drivers names, even though we talk about them at home.  This year she finally gets out of the bus and turns and waves goodbye. 

I really appreciate the short bus, it is much more than a means of transportation.  I think riding that little bus has been a big part of Haley's education.