Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Was it something I said?

I scheduled a haircut appointment for Haley at 3:00 pm.

The bus drops her off at our house anywhere between 2:00 pm and 2:15 pm, so I thought there would be enough time for Haley to have a snack and also some time for me to wash Haley's hair.

Haley will not put her head back in the sink at the salon. Our stylist cannot wash Haley's hair. I learned a long time ago that I had to do it at home.  Her hair is still wet when we get there, wet enough anyway that all she has to do is spray a little more water on it. She also puts a cream in it that keeps it workable while she cuts it. It is fascinating to watch her cut Haley's hair.  Curly hair is really a different animal.

So, anyway, I thought I had enough time.

I had planned out what I was going to do. I was going to let Haley come in and do her normal after school routine. I was going to let her take off her shoes and jacket and put them away. Then I was going to let her check on our cat, go to the bathroom. wash her hands, and get a snack.  Then I would wash her hair and we would go.

So the bus pulls up and Haley gets out. We walk in to the house.


I lose my mind.

I tell her that she has a haircut appointment.

I tell her that I want to wash her hair.

I realize what I have done and I try to back track.  I try to explain myself. I try to reassure her that she has time for a snack.

It is too late. I am ruined.

Haley started touching her hair and giving me a really concerned almost scared look. I don't know what she was thinking. I said "Your hair is going to be pretty."

"Pretty!" she cried. She cried. She touched her hair some more.

Oh, no...

"Yes, your hair is pretty now, but it needs a little trim. You like to get your hair cut. Are you excited to see Camille?" (name changed)


"Yes. Do you want to see her?"


OK. So then I came back to my senses and we took off her shoes and her coat and put them away. She did the rest of her routine and I offered her a snack. I didn't wait for her to ask for it. I made it and put it in front of her. This agitated her too. She got upset all over again.  I turned the TV on and tried to get her to focus on her show. 

That helped.

When she was done with her snack I told her it was time to wash her hair. I asked her if I could wash her hair in the sink. She looked a little concerned. She agreed and we walked over to the sink. I tried to help her bend over the sink and she balked. I don't know why I thought that was going to work. I told her that it was OK.

We would go take a quick bath.

We went upstairs and as we walked in to the bathroom she started crying again. At this point I was dumbfounded. I don't know if she was still upset about the assault she got when she got home, or if something else was going on. I tried to explain to her that we were just going to wash her hair and get her dressed again and then we would go. She cried the entire time she got undressed and while the tub filled. She cried while I washed her hair. She cried while I dried her hair and helped her get dressed.

I told her it was time to go.

"Go," she said.

"Yes, it is time, let's go."

Then she was fine. We got her shoes and jacket on and left. The haircut was fine. She sat completely still. She was very quiet. When we left she touched her hair and said "Pretty."

I knew better.

I had a plan. I sabotaged myself and I don't even know why.

I got ahead of myself.

I must remember this lesson in the future.

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