Amazingly I have spent most of the last three days sitting here working on the computer and yet I haven't sent a single blog post...
I am really enjoying a new sense of freedom and empowerment that comes from a child who understands me and responds accordingly. I am able to say things like "Go to the bathroom, please." or "Go upstairs and get dressed." or "Pick up your Barbie clothes, please."
And she does it!
It started out simply enough. I asked Haley to go to the bathroom. She walked into the bathroom, turned on the light and shut the door. I stood there with my mouth gaping open staring at the closed door. I listened. I heard the sound of the lid being lifted. I heard the sound of her pull-ups being pulled-down. Quiet...then I heard a little tinkle, tinkle. I was getting excited...then I heard "Done."
Oh.
She wasn't really "done," but it was encouraging.
From the other side of the door I said "Do you need help?" She said "Yeah." So I went in. I helped her wipe and take her pants all the way off and put on a new pull-up. I think if the pull-up hadn't been wet she would have just pulled her pants back up. I know she can do that.
The other day (on a whim) I asked Haley to go upstairs and get dressed. I went about my business downstairs. Time passed. Then from the top of the stairs I heard her Dad praising her and asking me if I knew what she was doing. I had some idea of what she was doing, but I went upstairs to see what was going on.
Haley was wearing pants.
That's it. She was carrying her bra and her top and she was heading down the stairs to find me. I think my husband was a bit taken aback by the situation, but I was thrilled.
I have been using my new found freedom a lot lately. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it works it is really great!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
A Passenger
Haley just walked up to me softly giggling and holding her elbow.
I didn't think that she was hurt, because she seemed so happy.
I focused on the elbow that she was presenting to me.
There was an ant crawling on her elbow and up her arm.
I laughed and grabbed it and gave it a quick squish behind my back.
"Haley, you had a passenger."
She laughed and walked away.
"Passenger...," she said.
I didn't think that she was hurt, because she seemed so happy.
I focused on the elbow that she was presenting to me.
There was an ant crawling on her elbow and up her arm.
I laughed and grabbed it and gave it a quick squish behind my back.
"Haley, you had a passenger."
She laughed and walked away.
"Passenger...," she said.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
18 and Life
Last night my husband and I went to another class in the Transition Series to learn about Trusts and Guardianships. Haley's Big Sis was at Drivers Ed so Haley came with us.
She was very good, she sat there quietly. She was interested in the presentation and the materials they handed out. She brought a purse full of animals. She even got cookies.
We learned a lot last night.
When Haley turns 18 things will change. 18 is a big age for anyone, but for Haley it will mean that we will have to become her Guardians because apparently it won't be enough that we are her parents. There is a lot of legal stuff that goes on, it seems kind of strange at this point. I understand the benefits and I understand the need to protect her. Of course we will still care for her, but in the eyes of the world when she reaches that age she will become an adult.
The wording is interesting:
It is hard for me to imagine a time when we will not completely responsible for our daughter. Especially the way she is. She relies on us completely. She would not survive without us.
That sounds like our daughter.
She will be 18 in a little over four years. It seems like a lifetime away.
I know that everything we are learning about is intended to protect her. I know it is all in her best interest.
The Trust is a great thing. The people that manage the Trust are doing a wonderful job. They are there to protect their clients.
It is all good.
As we pulled out of the parking lot my husband and I were talking about what all of this means to us. It is very strange. He says we have plenty of time to make these decisions.
I feel like we don't
It feels immediate to me. I don't know why.
Knowledge is power, but at the same time the more I learn the more concerned I become.
She was very good, she sat there quietly. She was interested in the presentation and the materials they handed out. She brought a purse full of animals. She even got cookies.
We learned a lot last night.
When Haley turns 18 things will change. 18 is a big age for anyone, but for Haley it will mean that we will have to become her Guardians because apparently it won't be enough that we are her parents. There is a lot of legal stuff that goes on, it seems kind of strange at this point. I understand the benefits and I understand the need to protect her. Of course we will still care for her, but in the eyes of the world when she reaches that age she will become an adult.
The wording is interesting:
"Adults are presumed competent to make decisions after age 18. After age 18, parents no longer have legal authority to make decisions for a child unless there is a guardianship."The Guardianship will protect the child concerning:
- medical treatment and care
- financial exploitation
- if the child becomes involved in the legal system
It is hard for me to imagine a time when we will not completely responsible for our daughter. Especially the way she is. She relies on us completely. She would not survive without us.
A guardian is a person appointed by the Court to manage the affairs of a person who is incapacitated.
An incapacitated person is one who is at significant risk of harm because of a demonstrated inability to manage property or financial affairs or because of a demonstrated inability to adequately provide for nutrition, health, housing or physical safety.
That sounds like our daughter.
She will be 18 in a little over four years. It seems like a lifetime away.
I know that everything we are learning about is intended to protect her. I know it is all in her best interest.
The Trust is a great thing. The people that manage the Trust are doing a wonderful job. They are there to protect their clients.
It is all good.
As we pulled out of the parking lot my husband and I were talking about what all of this means to us. It is very strange. He says we have plenty of time to make these decisions.
I feel like we don't
It feels immediate to me. I don't know why.
Knowledge is power, but at the same time the more I learn the more concerned I become.
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