I am a wimp

I find that my focus on any given day is to keep Haley happy.  I don't mean giving her everything she wants and following her every whim.  I mean making an effort to keep her from being unhappy.  I am a wimp.  I can't stand it when she gets out of control, when things don't go her way.  I try to get her to calm down, to go back to that happy state.  Sometimes I just can't.  My husband gets frustrated with me.  He tells me to ignore her, to just walk away.  That is really hard to do.   Sometimes it works but it can take hours.  My preference is to not let it happen in the first place.

That is probably why I haven't actually said to Haley "No, we are not going to Grandma and Grandpa's house."

I had a meeting last night so I wasn't home for a couple of hours.  When I got home I noticed some subtle differences from when I left.  Haley's pillow was on the floor by the back door that leads out to the garage.  Her purse was packed and sitting at the top of the stairs.  There was a pile of magazines under it.  There was a small pile of plastic horses sitting beside it.

I was sitting on the couch a little while later and Haley came in to the living room with a framed picture of her grandparents.  She brought it to me and held it out so that it was facing me.  She didn't say anything.  I said "Who's that?" and she said "Grandpa. Coy. Judy."  I smiled and nodded.  Yep that's them.  That was about it.

Later on Haley started talking about her new Daylight t-shirt and her new 700 t-shirt that she got on National Train Day.  She said "Daylight shirt, Grandpa."  OK.  I know my daughter.  I am just playing dumb.  She wants Grandpa to see her new shirts.  She wants to share her experiences with him.  I wish she could tell him everything that she wants him to know, because I can tell that she really wants to.  She knows that he will get it, she knows that these things are as important to him as they are to her.

My husband told me that while I was gone at my meeting he and Haley were in the bedroom upstairs that we have converted in to an office.  They were both in there playing on the computers.  He said he went downstairs several times and that every time he went down the stairs she would get up and look over the railing.  When he would come back up she would go back in to the room and sit back down.

This morning when I was getting her ready for school she said "Heather. Hi. How are you?"  Heather is the cow that lives behind her grandparent's house.  She likes to feed her.  She said "Leaves. Corn. Yum." and made a smacking noise with her tongue.

So Haley really wants to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house and I can't bring myself to tell her that we don't have plans to go.  I am a wimp.