Thursday, June 30, 2011

Haley's Job

Haley has a job.  She does her job well.  She is taking out the recycling.

She has experience with earning money.  She has earned Daylight Dollars and dollars for other things that she wanted.  She is now just earning money for no particular reason.  She likes to have some money in her wallet.

When she was in school they would occasionally have an outing planned. They would send me a note telling me that they would be going to Safeway or the bowling alley and if I sent money Haley could buy something or participate. It was great for her.  I knew that they were using it as a learning opportunity.  I happily put money in her wallet.

Now that she is out of school I thought that it would be better if she earned her money.

Taking out the recycling is something that she started to "help" her sister with and now she can do it all by herself. I found out in the last couple of weeks at school that recycling is her job at school as well, maybe that is why she does such a good job of it.

We separate our recycling into two baskets. One is for paper and the other is for cans and bottles.  Once she is out in the garage she can dump either one into our big blue recycling bin. We have to separate the glass into a small green container.  I usually help her sort out the glass in the kitchen and then she takes it into the garage as well. Once she has done that I mark off three 'X's' on the white board. One for each trip to the garage.

The other day she walked up to the refrigerator and pointed at the white board and said "Money."  I walked over and told her to count the X's.  We counted them.  She had six. She wasn't satisfied.

She said "Money!" and held out her hand and pointed into it.


She apparently wanted actual money in her wallet. I got some money out of my wallet and counted it out into her hand. Then she got her wallet and we put the money in it.

I then erased the white board.

She did not like that. I told her she could earn some more. She just walked off in a huff.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

My Wish Granted

Bra buying sucks. You try on so many just to find one that makes you look normal. One that covers. Lifts. Separates. I have spent hours in dressing rooms searching for myself.

Then I have a daughter like Haley.

Imagine you are young. You don't need padding. You don't need push up. You don't need plunge. You just need something that keeps you under control.

You DO NOT need to be sexy!

Imagine that you really can't stand scratchy fabric. You really can't stand labels, never mind wires.

And you have no way of communicating to your mother whether something feels right or not.

Haley has been wearing a sports bra for the last couple of years. I chose the sports bra because it was easier to put on her than something with a clasp in the back. She would never be able clasp or unclasp a regular bra. Also most of the bras that I tried on her just didn't cut it as far as support.

I have worn a sports bra. They are not exactly comfortable. It would be nice if she could put it on and take it off herself, but sports bras are very unforgiving, they are tight.

One of the nights that I was travelling to Montana to visit my sister and her new baby I was watching television and I saw an infomercial for the Genie Bra.

I did something that I don't normally do.

I bought one right then and there.

I don't know if you have seen it or not, but it was an answer to my prayers.

According to the ad this what the Genie Bra offers:
  • Woven everlast comfort stretch fabric.
  • Magic pouch to slip in support pads for extra lift and coverage.
  • Form-fitting seamless construction.
  • No wires or hooks.
  • Wide comfort lift band.
  • Machine washable.
What all women wish for.

Well, maybe not all women, but Haley and I did.

Apparently they are very popular because after waiting for months my order has finally arrived.

The Genie Bra is all it claims to be. At least for Haley. It is soft and smooth. It fits her great. It is easier to get over her head than the sports bra is and I bet that she will be able to take it off by herself, if not put it on as well.

So if you know someone, like Haley, that needs a bra that does what it should and doesn't do what it shouldn't send them this way.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Oh Baby

During the 8th Grade Celebration the other day at Haley's school they had a DJ.  The DJ was "spinning" the latest hits.  My daughter was diggin' it. 

When the music started she immediately started heading for the dance area.  I was walking beside her and I heard her singing. 

I had my camera ready. 

Just look at what I got!

I found out a little later that Haley and her classmates frequently dance and sing to the latest hits in class on Fridays.

The funniest thing about this that I have found Haley looking up Justin Beiber on the Internet. 

Her Big Sis is not a fan.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Find Us On Facebook

When I began this blog about Haley in April of 2010, part of the reason that I decided to write a blog was because my husband thought it would be fun if Haley had a facebook. 

When he suggested it, I just laughed.  I know she uses the Internet, and she uses it well, but of course she wouldn't be able to post, or like or interact the way that other people do on facebook. 

He thought it would be fun to have a web presence for Haley that would feature the things that she likes and I agreed.  That would be fun, but I was not about to sign her up on facebook.

I read several blogs at the time and I had been toying with the idea of writing my own blog.  I thought that people might like to read my unique perspective on life, but I wasn't sure what form my blog would take. 

My husband and I had several discussions about it.  We tossed ideas back and forth.  Then one day it just came to me.  "What if my blog wasn't about me, what if my blog was about Haley?"  Once I had that thought the blog post ideas just started flowing.  I wrote them down.  I filled two pages.  I thought "I can do this!"

So this blog was born on April 27, 2010 and the very first blog post was Money. One. Two. Three.

I posted it to my personal page and people really responded to it.  I have gotten great responses from my friends and my family ever since.  I am happy that people like to read what I write, but I don't fool myself.  I know what people really like are the stories about Haley.

So I have decided that maybe it is time that Haley have a facebook. 

The facebook page for this blog will include blog post updates as well as what Haley's likes and the occasional incident or quote that won't make it into a full post on this blog.  So check it out.

If you are on facebook click on the link at the right of this website to "Like" our facebook page.  If you are not on facebook, what the heck are you waiting for?  Now is your chance.  Sign up and then "Like us!"

If you know me please respect my decision to write this blog in anonymity.  I have done it for the safety of my daughter.  If you refer to me or my husband on our facebook page please stick with Haley's Mom and Haley's Dad.  Thank you.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Today was the last day of school and for Haley it was the last day of middle school.  My baby will be going to High School next year.*gasp*

I received a letter inviting me to attend an award ceremony at the school today because my daughter would be receiving an award.  It is not her first award. She comes home with certificates several times a year, but I have never gotten an invitation to witness it. Also since it is the last day of school and she is "graduating" I thought that I would like to go.

I sent a note with Haley to her teacher this morning asking her to call me if Haley was indeed going to attend the ceremony. There have been times in the past that the teacher has told me that Haley would not attend the ceremony and that her award was given to her in class.

I suppose that is OK, but shouldn't she feel the recognition? Shouldn't she hear the applause?

I wanted her to and I wanted to.

The teacher called me and asked me if I had received a letter.  I told her that I had. She said that Haley would certainly be attending the ceremony then and that I could come.

I arrived at the gym and took a seat in the bleachers. The chairs in front were reserved for the 8th grade students.  I had only sat there a few moments when I saw Haley enter the room with her aide. They sat in the very first seat in the front.  I watched as her aide leaned over to her, spoke a bit and then turned and looked up at the bleachers. I knew she was looking for me so I stood up and waved.

She motioned for me to come down.

I walked up to Haley and said "Hi." She looked very confused. Mom isn't supposed to be at school. I gave her a hug and told her that I would be in up the stands. When I got back to my seat Haley's aide pointed to me and I waved. Haley waved too, but I could tell that she didn't see me.

The award assembly was nice. The principal and the teachers were very enthusiastic about the great students that were being recognized. I got teary eyed and choked up several times. When the Citizenship award was announced I felt a little feeling in my stomach that it would be the one for my daughter.

I wanted to remember the nice speech that the principal gave about what made a student a good citizen, but I don't remember it. I remember my daughter's name being called. I watched her walk up with the rest of the kids that also were receiving certificates. I took several pictures. I was so proud. I felt a lot of love toward that principal as she leaned her head on Haley's shoulder and showed her the certificate and the pin that she had earned. All of the kids were allowed to return to their seats and then the principal herself took the time to walk Haley back to hers.

After the ceremony was the 8th grade party. The kids got to go out on the field and have pizza, chips, fruit and cake. I decided to hang out with Haley a little while. I talked with her aide as Haley ate her lunch. They had a DJ playing music and I noticed that the other girl who was "graduating" from life skills was already dancing. Haley wanted to join her. I watched from the side and took pictures. Haley came to me and seemed a bit warm so I started to help her take off her jacket and BAM!

I was hit in the forehead with a football.

I was stunned a moment. Then I looked around to see who had thrown it. It was a pair of boys who had been throwing the ball back and forth for the last ten minutes. We had asked them to move away from the kids who were dancing, but obviously they didn't do it.

I came unhinged. I yelled at them. I told them that they should not be throwing the ball around a crowd of people dancing. I even called them "little shits!" To that one of them replied "You are not supposed to curse at school." I yelled back, "You are not supposed to hit people in the head with footballs!" (My shining moment!)

Haley just stood there wondering what the heck was wrong with her Mom - probably.

I looked around for Haley's aide and she was not to be found. Someone with a walkie-talkie came up to me and asked me how I was. By this time I was shaking. I told her that I had been hit by a football. She said that she could tell, because of the giant red welt in the middle of my forehead. She asked me about the boys and we talked a few minutes. She corralled them and had them sit down. I told her I was looking for Haley's aide and she went to look for her.

Meanwhile Haley joined the other kids and started dancing again.

Her aide came up beside me and I told her that I was going home. On my way out the other teacher asked about Haley and I told her that her aide was with her again. As I left I saw the boys with another teacher.

When I got to my car and started to put my stuff in the trunk I heard the assistant principal calling "Are you Haley's mom?"

"Yes." I said.

He asked me how I was feeling and told me that I should go inside and see the school nurse and fill out an accident report.  I just wanted to go home, but I agreed.  The nurse gave me some ice and a list of symptoms I should be aware of.  A hit like that can cause a concussion.

I really didn't feel that bad. My head hurt and I could tell that I would have a headache. I wanted to go home and rest. And I was emotional, but I had been emotional since the beginning of the ceremony.

Those were all symptoms listed on a poster in the health room.

I started crying and I told the nurse that I hoped the boys wouldn't be in too much trouble. I told her I was really angry when it first happened. She said that it was a normal reaction.

As I walked to the car I realized that today my daughter had earned an award for Citizenship and then I demonstrated a huge lack of Citizenship by yelling at her classmates.

I am not happy with myself at all.

She Saw It

...and heard it and smelled it and felt it.

Haley and her Dad followed the 4449 Daylight yesterday.  She didn't go to school.  It was a special day.

Haley and I talked about it for several weeks before hand and she was ready for all of her senses to be affected.  I told her that the only thing she wouldn't do it is touch it.

Haley came home really excited.  She told me all about Daylight.  She told me that she smelled the steam and the smoke.  She counted on her fingers how many cars there were, the number kept changing so I don't really know how many there were.  Her Dad told me that she waved at the engine and the passenger cars.  She said it was cool and that she had fun.  She said it was "fun day."

She was a bit upset that they didn't go to the Depot.  My husband had planned to hang out on a bridge and take some pictures.  I told her many times to talk to him about the plans and I know he told her, but she still seemed disappointed.

I tried to get out my camera and film her talking about the trip, but as soon as I turned it on she clammed up.

I think it all wore her out though because she was in a bit of a bad mood the rest of the day.

Friday, June 17, 2011

It's Haley

Haley has never been very comfortable with writing or drawing.  She doesn't hold a pen, pencil or crayon the way most of us do.

Over the years if teacher's want her to draw or write they have to resort to "hand over hand" which means that they are basically doing the work for her.  They are making her go through the motions.  We have tried coloring books, but she has very little interest in it.

Sometimes drawings come home from school in her back pack and I can tell what on the drawing Haley did and what was basically her helper's work.

There have been occasions when Haley will find a stray piece of paper and something to write with laying around and she will experiment.  Usually this has happened to a drawing that her Big Sis was working on and had left laying out with all of her colored pencils sitting there just begging to be used.

Sometimes it happens that I might leave a pad of post-it notes and a black Sharpie sitting on my desk.

Haley brought me this. 

It's a face! 

This is the first time that I have ever seen her draw a face.  I am so in love with this picture!  I told her it was wonderful and immediately hung it on the refrigerator.

Her Dad came in to the kitchen and walked by the refrigerator and saw it.  He turned to me with the same look of shock on his face that I must of had when I saw it. 

"It's a face!" he exclaimed.  

"I know, how cool is that?" I said.

He said "Haley, who is that?"


Well, of course it is.  Look at the hair!

See It

Haley's favorite engine will be heading out on the rails once again.  Haley is excited.  Her Dad told her that he will take her to "chase" it. 

Haley says she is going to "See It!"

It is really all she talks about these days.  Her Dad told her about it around two weeks ago.  It has been the topic of discussion constantly since then.

As always happens when Haley is anticipating something she will bring it up and then expect me to validate her.  If she doesn't get the response she wants she will get louder.  Invariably when she gets louder she also starts to sound angry. 

As a side note; as I typed that I realized that I do the same thing, I don't mean to, but people are always saying that about me.  That makes me pause a moment...

Anyway, as a self-defense mechanism I just say "Woo! Hoo!"  She repeats "Woo! Hoo!" and we move on.

So for example a typical discussion sounds like this:

Haley says, "Daylight.  See it."

"Yes, you are going to see it."



"See it."

"Yep, you are going to see it."




"Woo! Hoo!"

"Woo! Hoo!"

This morning Haley and I were having a running discussion about "seeing" the Daylight as we were getting her ready for school.  My husband was in his office working and he came in to Haley's bedroom and said "What are you woohooing about?"  Haley kind of back pointed to her calendar. 

She always points at the calendar in her room and talks about the next exciting thing that is happening, even though right now the month that is displayed is March and the calendar is actually from 2008.

He didn't see the gesture.  He asked her again.  She just looked at me.  I said "Haley, I know what you were woohooing about, but Dad doesn't.  Can you tell him?" 

She looked up at her Dad and said "Daylight." 

Maybe you had to be there, but her Dad and I just looked at each other and smiled. 

"That was a perfect answer." he said.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Going Around Town

It often amazes me the things that Haley can find on the Internet.  Lately she has been "walking" around town.

Occasionally I check out what she has on the computer screen.  Today she has been all over town on Google Maps.  I was not surprised to find her at the train station, I assume she found a link to it through one of the train sites that she frequents.  I was, however, surprised to find her at the airport.  I don't know how she did that.

My husband is responsible for her new hobby.

At some point he typed in his parents address on Google Maps and looked at an aerial view of their property.  Haley saw it and recognized it as Grandma and Grandpa's house.  The funny thing is that you can even see Heather in the picture.  That map is saved in Haley's favorites and she often visits it. 

She knows how to find aerial maps and then she looks at the street view, then she moves around.  She was in the center of a four lane road at one point today.  I said "Haley, what are you doing in the middle of the street?"  She just laughed.

She uses Google Maps to look around at the buildings, the cars and even the people (whose faces are blurred.)  She seems to be completely entertained.

It's kind of cool.  I don't want her out walking the streets by herself, but I don't mind if she does it in "virtual reality."

Isn't it amazing what you can do on the Internet?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Excuse Me

One of the many things that parents want to teach our children is to be polite. We want to teach them to say things like "Please" and "Thank You."

I have to remind Haley to say "please" all of the time. Unless she really wants something and she is not getting it. She will yell "PLEASE!"

Not really what I am after.

She uses "Thank You" quite well.  Especially if she has just received something that she really wants.  Like the other day she found her sisters secret stash of cookies.  She asked me if she could have one and before I could answer her, her Big Sis noticed and told her she could.  She immediately said "Thank you."  It was nice.

Well, the other polite comment that I have been trying to teach Haley is to say "Excuse Me" after she makes an unexpected personal noise.  I think she got that one, but there is one tiny problem. 

It is not always "unexpected."

Haley likes to make rude noises.  She is really good at it.  She does the classic:  put your hand on your face and blow a big raspberry until you giggle.  She also makes sounds in the back of her throat. 

And then she says "Excuse me."

It was pretty cute, the first time.

So as we are driving home this weekend we hear a small sound come from the back of the Yukon and then we hear "excuse me." 

I smile. 

She has learned something.  That's nice.  I know sometimes people will say "You're excused."  I don't do that because I think it would confuse her.  So I don't say anything.

And then I hear *a somewhat rude noise.*

"Excuse me."

*An even louder rude noise.*

"Excuse me."

*An obnoxiously loud rude noise that lasts about a minute.* 

"Excuse me."

*A noise that is almost unbearably loud and would be increasingly disgusting if  you weren't aware that a cute little girl was making it on purpose with her hand over her mouth.*

Followed by raucous giggling.

"Excuse me."

At this point everyone in the Yukon is laughing so hard I think we might have to pull over and compose ourselves.

As she starts again I say (in all seriousness)  "Haley, that is enough.  All done."

"All done." followed by quieter giggling.

"Excuse me."

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Not Cool Mom

Haley is mad at me.

It happens sometimes.  Especially when she sees fun in her future and then it is snatched away.

Number One Daughter is learning to drive and has her permit. I do not relish the idea of her driving away in my car (or any other car, for that matter) but it might be nice someday. As it is I am still a glorified chauffeur.

When she calls and says will you come and pick me and my friend up and take us to the mall and her Dad isn't around I have to bring Haley with me. So Haley sees the girls, she sees the mall and she assumes that fun will ensue.

And then the girls get out and we drive away.

"Shopping!," she screams.

"No Haley, I was just giving the girls a ride."


She is mad at me.


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