I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Holding a small child's hand can be difficult. 

You hold their hand to keep them safe, like when you are crossing the street and all they want to do is run. 

You hold their hand to pull them the direction that you want to go while they are frantically pulling in the opposite direction. 

Sometimes those little fingers slip out of your hand because they are small, or wriggly, or slimy or because they are a good two to three feet lower than your hand comfortably hangs.

Holding a teenagers hand is something that few parents get to do.  Teenagers only hold other teenager's hands.

I still hold Haley's hand.

When we are crossing the street.  When we are walking through parking lots.  When we are at the grocery store or the mall.  When we are going up or down a flight of stairs.

She is almost my height now so our hands naturally hang down at about the same level.  Our hands are about the same size, so they fit.  I don't feel like I am holding her fingers anymore.   Our palms touch.   Her fingers curl around mine.  She actually holds my hand.  She doesn't try to pull away.

If it seems safe and if it seems like she will keep up with me I let her walk on her own now.  I am trying to let her be more independent.  She will reach out and take my hand.  Sometimes it feels like it is out of habit and sometimes it feels like she wants to.

We went for a walk with Grandma and Grandpa when we were staying at their house last weekend.  The roads that we were walking on were fairly busy so I held her hand most of the time.  We walked on a side road for a while that wasn't very busy so I let go.  It was warm and her hand was sweaty.

When we walk I sometimes have to pull her along.  It gets really tiring, especially if we are walking up hills.  Who am I kidding?  It just gets really tiring. 

So she would walk along on her own for a while and then she would sidle up to me and take my hand.

I like to hold Haley's hand these days.  It's different from holding her hand when she was little.  I am not holding her hand, we are holding each other's hands.

It is a comfortable feeling.

The other night the whole family was sitting in the living room watching television.  Haley's Dad and Big Sis were sitting on one couch and I was sitting on the other with Haley.  Haley reached over and slid her hand into mine.

We sat like that for quite a while, just holding hands.

It was nice.