Don't Touch Me

Haley and her Dad and I went for a walk today.  Her Dad and I usually walk for exercise and sometimes we take Haley.  Haley likes to walk with us, but she also likes to stop and read the signs along the trail, sit on the benches and basically follow her own paths.

We really wanted to exercise today, and I had a meeting I needed to get ready for this afternoon, so we wanted to walk quickly.  Haley has spurts of energy where she will walk out in front of us for a while.  That is nice because we can walk at a pace that is almost normal for us.  She will eventually slow down though, and quite often I have to hold her hand. That's fine, I like to hold her hand, but usually I end up almost dragging her.

She won't hold her Dad's hand.  At least not if I am there too.  That is pretty normal.  If I am not with them Haley will hold her Dad's hand.  She only wants to hold my hand if we are all together.  I suppose I should be flattered, but it can get pretty tiring.  Especially if I have to pull her behind me.

I try all kinds of things, I hold my hand up and bend my elbow so she walks right next to me.  I switch hands frequently.  I put both of my hands lightly on her shoulders and kind of walk off to the side and a little behind her. I put my hand on her back and she keeps walking, I am not really pushing her, she just keeps up a little better.   I like to change it up, basically just to keep my arms from going to sleep.

If her Dad tries to do that she will run to get away from him or she swats at his hand.

I don't know what that is about.  I swear when I am not around I think they have a great relationship and a great rapport.  It bums me out that I never get to see it.

The John Deere Hat

I was a little premature on Tuesday bragging about my daughter cleaning house for me.  That is what it seemed like to me.  I wasn't trying to mislead anyone.  The truth came out when her Father got home from work.  She was in fact packing.

Haley has recently taken it upon herself to pack for trips.  She has gotten it into her head that we are going to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  I don't know if she overheard us making plans, or if she just decided it was time for a visit.  When her Dad got home from work there was a pile of things by the door to the garage.  There were all of those videos she had "picked up" and all of the magazines as well.  Her pillow and her shoes were also sitting by the door.  Dad asked what was going on.  I had to admit that I didn't know for sure, but that Haley must think we are going to Grandma and Grandpa's.

I was reluctant to explain that we did have plans to go there, but the date was a way off.  She doesn't really get the concept of time or dates so I knew that it might not help to explain that to her.  I decided that I didn't know what else to do so I showed her the calendar and told her that we would go in eleven days.  After telling that repeatedly all evening long she went to bed.

The next morning she started packing again and she got out her John Deere hat.  When Haley visits Grandma and Grandpa she expects certain things to happen.  She expects to play with the toys that they have gathered for her, she expects to see the cow that lives behind them "Heather" and she expects to go for a ride on Grandpa's John Deere tractor.  She knows that Grandpa wears his hat when they do that so she always has to wear a hat too.  Usually we bring one of hers, but once she had to borrow his.

So Haley started wearing the John Deere hat.  She has worn it for two days now.  She wears it all the time.

She wears it when she is watching videos.

I don't know how she can see.

Happy Birthday Grandpa

She Gets That From Her Dad

I hurt my back, or my neck, or both.  I was thinking that I might have slept on it wrong.  It has actually been building up for a while.  Thinking about it this morning, I think I may have aggravated it during the rock concert I attended last week.  Anyway, I don't feel like doing much.  I basically do what I have to and I am trying to rest.  Consequently my house is a mess.  I walk around and notice all of the things that need to be done, but I just can't bring myself to do them.

This morning Haley has taken the issue into her own hands.

Haley is neat.  She doesn't like things to be out of place.  I can't remember if I have written about this in my blog before, but I think she gets it from her Dad.  Her Dad is very neat.  Her Dad was raised by two very neat people.  I call him Mr. Clean.  He is just naturally tidy.  He does a great job of cleaning.  Apparently he has a kind of built in cleanliness meter because there have been times that I have cleaned something only to find him cleaning it again.

Haley likes a clean surface, whether it be on a desk that she wants to work on or on the table where she likes to eat her breakfast and snacks.  If there is something on that table she will either hand it to me or throw it on the floor.  I don't quite understand why it would be OK for the floor to be messy, but there you are. 

I have been sitting at my desk in the room that I call the library.  It is the kind of room that would be a dining room for some people, but we have made it into my office.  I am a messy person.  My desk is a mess.  Haley comes up to me and starts handing me the things that are on top of the desk.  I told her that those things are on the desk because I am using them, but as far as she can tell they are just messing up the desk.

So this morning Haley started cleaning up.  She lined up all of her VHS tapes on the floor and then wanted me to look at them.  I told her it would be great if she would put them in their cases.  So she did.  Next thing I know she is picking up items from the front entry.  Most of those items in the front entry are there because of her, but at least she picked them up. 

I have not felt like bending down to pick them up.  I was actually thinking about asking her Big Sis to pick them up, but if I do that she will want to be paid.  Haley seems to be willing to do it for free.  She is neat.  She gets that from her Dad.

She's a Teenager

I know I recently blogged about Haley's birthday.  So it is not a surprise to you that she is a teenager.  That was when she chronologically became a teenager.  It would seem that she has "become a teenager" this last week.

Her new favorite word is "No" and she uses it frequently.  She uses it loudly.

I was downstairs on Sunday and Haley and her father were upstairs, I assume they were both using the computers in the office.  One at each end of the desk.  I can assume what was going on because they were both yelling.  Her Dad would yell something like "I am trying to help you, Haley."  and she would yell back.  I wouldn't hear anything for a few minutes and then I would hear "NO!"

She seems to have a short fuse lately.  We don't know why.  As it happens, it can't be PMS, because of the timing.  My only explanation is that she is becoming a teenager.  I remember when her Big Sis went through a phase when everything her Dad said was wrong.  She just seemed angry all of the time.  She actually told me once that she knew it was wrong to get mad at her Dad, but that she really couldn't help it.  I guess that must be what is going on with Haley.

I feel like I am the moderator.  On Sunday when they were yelling at each other I decided to just step in.  I resisted the urge to sit there and let them work it out.  I went upstairs and asked her to step out of the room with me.  I ended up taking her to the bathroom and changing her.  She seemed to be in a better mood after that, I don't know if she was just uncomfortable or if it was just the change of scenery.

She is testing our patience.  I guess she is testing us.  Teenagers do that, don't they?

"Wiggled" Out

Thursday morning Haley had an appointment to have her canine baby tooth extracted or "wiggled out" as the dentist put it.  I tried to explain to her what would be happening.  I asked her if she remembered when her other teeth had come out.  I have not been privy to that. 

I would notice occasionally that a tooth was missing, but I never knew when it had come out or where it went.  I don't know if she took them out of her mouth and put them in the garbage or if she simply swallowed them.  I told her that one of her teeth needed to come out and that the dentist was going to take it out.  I told her that she would have something over her nose that would help her relax and that the dentist would take the tooth out and then we would go home.

We got to go into a different room in the dentist's office.  It was still decorated with fish, but it had a door that shut.  Haley sat down in the chair and the doctor came in right away.  He explained to me what was going to happen and then he tried to get Haley to sit back.  She did really surprisingly well and then she sat back up again.  The dentist tried several different positions until they came to a mutually agreeable one.

They put the gas mask on her nose and asked her what it smelled like.  Apparently it smelled like cotton candy, she didn't say.  Haley took it off and put it back on many times.  I was afraid that she wasn't breathing through her nose.  It almost seemed like she was trying to get more air.  Eventually she relaxed and put her head back on the chair after much coaxing.  After a while she kind of got a little smile on her face.

The dentist put a swab in her mouth that would numb the area he was going to work on.  She put up with that really well.  Then he used the needle.  I hate needles.  Truth be told, I hate the dentist.  Not this one, but the whole experience in general.  My children are much better about going to the dentist than I ever was. 

Haley actually took the needle really well.  I saw her foot flinch a couple of times, but that was it.  The dentist took a long time with the needle, I mean a long time.  He was basically upside down the whole time and I was fully expecting his arm to start shaking, but he did it.  We all breathed a sigh of relief when it was over.

Haley actually kind of giggled.  Then she pointed at something on the wall.  Then she sort of waved at me.  I said "Hi, Haley." and waved back.  A little while later the dentist went through that whole process again.  The second time the hygienist had to hold her hand.  Throughout the whole thing she constantly told Haley what a good job she was doing.

The dentist had the hygienist squirt water in her mouth and run the suction, presumably to keep her distracted, while he "wiggled out" the tooth.  I rubbed her leg and prayed.  Soon it was out and again there was a collective sigh of relief.  The dentist said "We did it, Mom."  I was crying.

He tried to get Haley to bite down on the tube of cotton, but she wouldn't.  He told me it would be a few hours before her mouth would feel normal and that she needed to be careful not to bite her tongue, her cheek or her lip.  I thought to myself, what can I do about that and we were done.  Haley got to choose two "prizes" from the prize room, they had horses.  There were no horses on Tuesday.  I think they were there because of her (she carried Chelsea and Sandy to both appointments.)

I bought applesauce, sweet potatoes and rice cereal so she wouldn't have to chew.  She didn't appreciate her lunch very much.  I tried to give her a little coconut milk ice cream, but it seemed to bother her tooth.  I gave her Tylenol after some tears and she spent the rest of the day resting on the couch.

Again, my child has amazed me.  She did so well.

The Best Dentist Ever

Haley's history with the dentist has not been good.  At one of her early appointments the hygienist tried to put the bite wings in her mouth first thing and Haley wasn't having it.  They really couldn't do anything else with her after that.  The next time I asked them to clean her teeth first because of the previous experience.  They tried to sit the chair back.  No.  I sat on the chair and held her on my lap, we tried to lean the chair back.  No.  Haley does not like to lie back for anything.  Not for a haircut and not for the dentist.

I thought that she would like the cleaning because she used a tool that vibrated around her mouth in speech therapy and she seemed to like that, but even though they tried to clean her teeth with her still sitting up she really wouldn't cooperate.  The dentist came in to look at her teeth and told me that her constant drooling was keeping her teeth very clean.  I took comfort in that. 

True confessions:  She didn't see another dentist for six years.  I didn't do that intentionally.   I never said "Well she will not be going back to the dentist and that is that."  Time got away from me.  Next thing you know it was six years later and she hadn't seen a dentist and I panicked.

Luckily I was talking to a friend of mine about teeth and dentists and she recommended me to the dentist she takes her kids to.  Dentistry for Children.  I called them and explained our situation, Haley is developmentally delayed, Haley will not sit back, she probably won't even open her mouth, but she hasn't been to a dentist in six years and I know she needs to go.  They made an appointment for early in the morning before anyone else would be there.

We walked in to the office and Haley bee-lined straight for the Thomas the Tank Engine layout.  The place was full of toys and Disney music was playing from the overhead speakers.  They showed Haley around the office and let her look at each cubicle.  Each one was decorated differently; some with fish, some with woodland creatures and one with a pirate theme.   They also had a train set that ran around the office near the ceiling.  Haley loved the place.

They were very patient with Haley.  They tried to get her to sit back, but didn't push it too much.  They used a lot of cute techniques to get her to open her mouth.  The first couple of visits were just to get Haley used to the idea of being there.  I think it was about the fourth visit when they finally cleaned every tooth and got some x-rays.

The x-ray experience amazed me.  They could hold something in her mouth that was connected to the computer and in seconds the images were on the screen.  It was so efficient and quick.  Some of the hygienists are better than others at getting her to cooperate, but they are all so sweet.  They really love her there.

Haley had a appointment this week for a cleaning.  She has lost a lot of her baby teeth, but one is still hanging on.  She did pretty well getting her teeth cleaned and letting them check them over.  The hygienist that worked on her was a little timid and Haley can sense that.  She does better with someone that has a gentle but firm hand.  The doctor came in a checked her teeth and told me that he would like to see what they called a "pano" which would give him a better look at the state of her whole mouth.

Haley needed to stand still in a machine and put her chin on a rest and hold something in her mouth and bite down, the machine circled around her to take the picture.  I was dubious that she would do all of that, but she amazed me once again.  The picture was very interesting, we forgot to take her glasses off so on the screen was what looked like a giant grin wearing glasses.

The thing that stood out the most about the x-ray is that above the canine that had not come out yet was a tooth that sat at a right angle to the rest of her teeth.  The dentist said that the baby tooth would have to be extracted so that the rogue tooth would have a chance to come down.  He said that it might just come down on it's own and it might not, but if that baby tooth didn't come out that it would most likely not come down.

So I made an appointment to have her tooth extracted.  Tune in tomorrow to find out what happens next.

The Hot Tub

Haley loved the hot tub at the house we rented.  She was really good and didn't even splash her cousins.

Our Week at the Beach

We spent last week at the Oregon Coast.  We rented a great big house and had a family reunion with my Mom and her boyfriend and my brother and his family and my sister.  It was great to have us all together in one place.  Several years ago we all spread out and moved away from each other.  It has been over four years since Haley and her Big Sis had seen their cousins.

We decided several years ago that renting a house is so much better for Haley than trying to stay in hotels.  Haley tends to get a little stir crazy cooped up in one little room.  Hotels work well if we are staying for one night, but any longer than that is not worth it.  We also like to rent a house so that we can cook and have the foods we are used to.

We were surprised that Haley did not want to go on to the beach on this trip.  She would step down on to the sand and then kind of whine and want to turn back.  I managed to get her to sit on a log and hang out while everyone else spent time on the beach.  We couldn't tell if she was cold or she just didn't want to get sand on herself.  It was windy.  She usually likes wind, one of her therapists had told me that wind against her skin is one way that she can feel her body in space.  She just was not into the beach this time.

We brought her laptop and she played on that a little.  She was a bit put out that she couldn't get on the internet.  We brought her videos and she watched a few of them, her little cousin enjoyed her videos as well. 
The highlight of the trip for Haley was the hot tub.  She got to get into the hot tub several times.  I only let her be in it for about fifteen minutes at a time, but that seemed to be enough for her.   She got into a pattern.  We would spend some time on the beach and then come back to the house and sit in the hot tub.  Then we would put her pajamas on and she would hang out in the living room until bed time.

Haley slept really well at the beach, she never woke me up the whole week.  She even slept in.  The first day I actually checked on her because she slept about three hours past her normal wake up time.  Haley and her Big Sis shared a bed and when I checked on them they were both fast asleep.  They slept in everyday of the trip.  That helped me enjoy my trip even more because I could sleep all night long and then get up and go for a walk on the beach and come back and shower before she even got up.

We had a great vacation.  Seeing my family was wonderful and seeing the cousins play together was a real treat.  I hope we can get together again soon.  Four years is too long.

The Top of the Heap

Meet Chelsea and Sandy, Haley's newest additions to her stable of Schleich horses.  We caught Haley admiring her horses while we were doing the dishes the night of her birthday.

Right now they are the horses of choice.  If we are going somewhere in the car they are the ones that get to come along,  They are the ones that get the honor of sitting on the table during meals.  They are the ones that she was clutching, one in each hand, this morning when I went in to her bedroom to wake her up.

I don't know if they will remain the horses of choice or if they will get bumped by someone new.  They may get relegated back to number two position by one of the senior horses in her stable.  We will have to wait and see.

Cake with Candles

Blowing out the candles on her birthday cake has always been one of Haley's favorite things about her birthday.  This year was no exception.  She knew the cake was made and frosted.  She is very good about waiting for dessert.  She has learned that she has to eat her meal before she can have dessert.

It's pretty funny actually how that connection has played out over the years.  If she wants a treat she will ask for food and then when she is done eating she will ask for the treat.  The first time she did this I didn't catch on until it was too late.  I just thought she was hungry, but in fact it was just logical to her that if she can't have the treat until she has eaten then she must eat in order to have the treat,  I was actually quite proud of her for thinking that through.

This is Haley enjoying her birthday cake with a candle on it.  We have given her the one candle on her piece of cake rather than thirteen candles on the whole cake because she can't even blow out the one candle by herself.  I don't see the point of frustrating her by giving her thirteen of them.  She likes her one candle though.  I help her blow it out.

You'll notice in this picture that she is not even trying to blow the candle out.  She makes the slightest blowing sound, but it doesn't have enough power to actually extinguish the flame.

So at lunch the next day Haley eats her lunch and then asks for cake.  I get up to cut her a slice and she says "Candle."

"You want me to put a candle on your cake?"

"Yeah."

I set the cake down on the table in front of her.  She looks at me.  "Do you want me to sing?"

"Yeah."

So I sing her the Birthday Song again and we blow out the candle and then she can eat her cake.

Haley has wanted me to put a candle on her piece of cake, light it, present it to her, and sing her the song every time she has had cake since then.  She has wanted this after lunch and after dinner.  She says "Cake with candle."

There is only one piece of cake left.

Another Year Older

This spring a friend of mine asked me if I could stop at the Feed Store on the way to her house and pick up some baby chicks.  She has chickens in her back yard that she keeps for eggs.  She thought that Haley and her sister might enjoy getting the chicks and carrying them in the car to her house.  They did enjoy that and Haley really enjoyed the feed store.

The store had a full rack of Shleich animals and a whole wall devoted to Breyer horses.  She had a lot of fun looking at the store, but I was grateful that she was distracted by the cacophony coming from all of those baby chicks.  There were hundreds of them and you couldn't even have a conversation if you were right by them.

I decided that for her birthday it might be fun to go to the Feed Store and let Haley shop.  We didn't direct her one way or another we just let her look.  She was excited to find a horse just like Chelsea, the horse that went lame a while back.  She grabbed the little horse and immediately said "Yelsee" which is how she says  Chelsea.  She also got a horse that kind of looked like a Shetland pony I used to have and a little deer.  She looked at the wall of Breyer horses, but she didn't seem like she wanted to bring one home.  I think she prefers her little horses because they are small and she can carry several in her hand as well as in her purse.  She also likes to sleep with them.

We got to the car and told her that we would have to name all of them.  Chelsea was done already named of course, so Dad suggested Sandy for the sandy colored mare and Haley came up with Raina for the deer.  We stopped at the grocery store on the way home and picked up a gluten free cake mix and a can of frosting that didn't appear to have dairy in it.  I put the cake in the oven when we got home.

We had stopped at the mailbox on our way in and there was a package for Haley as well as a couple of Birthday cards.  She opened them as soon as we got in the house.  The package was a gift from her Grandma C, she got a really pretty box with horses on it and a couple of magnets with horses on them, a key chain with her name on it and two shirts.  She was excited that she got money in her birthday cards.

Haley's Big Sis called and wished Haley a Happy Birthday and asked if she had opened the gift from her yet.  She hadn't, so she opened it while she was on the phone with her.  She opened her present and found a Polly Pocket doll and some clothes for it and then her Big Sis sang the Birthday song to her.

Later Dad frosted her cake and we had dinner.  After dinner we put a candle on her piece of cake and sang the Birthday song to her.  I helped her blow out her candle.  I had forgotten about one more present from me, so I asked her if she wanted to open another present.  She said "yeah."  It was clothes for her Barbie dolls.  After that we went for a walk.

So now I have two teenagers.

Boom! Bang! Joojoojoo?

Haley has been looking forward to the 4th of July fireworks for some time.  She knows that they go hand in hand with her birthday, which she has also been looking forward to.

We had a discussion about whether or not it would be a good idea to take Haley shopping for fireworks before went to the stand, but we decided to try it.  She didn't understand the boxes.  It didn't mean much to her.  She kept saying "Fireworks?" kind of like, where are they?  She also didn't like the idea that we bought them the day before we used them.  She wanted instant gratification.  After all it sounded like everyone else in the town was already using theirs.

Haley's Big Sis went out of town for the weekend with some friends so it was just the three of us together for this holiday.  We didn't really do anything related to the holiday all day.  We were watching a movie after dinner and Haley was playing upstairs.  She came down after a while and sat with us.  Shadow was not happy about all of the noise so I was holding him.  He rolled over on to Haley's lap for a while so that was entertaining her.  As it was getting darker I could tell that Haley was getting a little restless.  The sounds outside were getting louder, closer and more persistent.  Finally it sounded like someone set off a firework in our front yard and I jumped.  I asked Haley if she thought we should join them and she said "Yeah."

We set up our lawn chairs in our driveway and Dad got out the fireworks we had bought.  We live on a culdesac, the center of which is the popular spot for setting off fireworks.  There were already several neighbors actively using it.   Haley's Dad took turns setting off fireworks with the other families.  Haley and I Oohed and Ahhed and Haley said "Joojoojoo."  I don't know where that came from, but she did it all night long.

After we had set off our last firework it seemed like the other neighbors were done as well so we went inside.  Haley didn't even fuss.  I told her we could watch out the window so we set ourselves up in front of our bedroom window and I got the cat and we all sat there and watched the fireworks.  Pretty soon that died down a little and we moved to a window in the back of the house.  That was not as fun so we decided to get our pajamas on.  I think if the show would have continued Haley would have watched it all night long, but as it was she went right to bed without a complaint.  The sounds lasted for at least another hour and half, but I never heard anything more from Haley.  I was very proud of her.

Break it Up Back There

The horses have been at odds lately.  It is rather distressing.  The sound is strange and I did not know what was happening at first, but it has become all too clear.

The other day from the back of the car I heard a ruckus.  I couldn't see what was happening because I driving.  I stopped at a light and looked back to see that two of Haley's Schleich horses were battling it out.  Imagine the sound of small plastic animals smacking together rapidly.  I asked Haley what was going on and she said "fighting" - no joke. 

"Your horses are fighting?"

"Yeah."

"They must be sisters."  I say. 

At this Haley busts out laughing.  Raucous riotous laughter.  I couldn't help but join her.

Riding the Emotional Rollercoaster

It has been a crazy ride the last couple of days.  I think it might be the change in routine.  School was out last Tuesday and then we had a couple of nice sunny days that actually felt like summer, then she got to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  Since we have been back it has been nice, but not really nice enough to swim.  She really wants to swim (and by that I mean splash in our kiddie pool.)

On Tuesday Haley had a meltdown.  I don't even remember what started it.  Her Big Sis had a girlfriend over for a sleepover on Monday night and although they were very quiet it always kind of messes Haley up when her sister has friends over.  I think that anything that is out of her normal routine is hard for Haley, which is why summer can be difficult in general. 

We had plans to visit a friend and I wanted Haley to eat her lunch so that we could go, but Haley didn't want to eat her lunch.  First of all I chose the wrong lunch and she threw herself onto the floor.  This reaction was bad enough when she was little, but now that she is 5'-3" it is awful, I am really worried that she will damage her knees.  Anyway, I made her something else for lunch and she wouldn't eat that either.  She threw herself on the floor again and started crying.  I didn't want to bribe her, but I was running out of options.  I had told her that we wanted to go soon so she needed to eat her lunch, but that didn't phase her.  So I brought out the big guns and told her where we were going.

What happened next was not a surprise to me.  It has happened before.  Mind you I was shocked the first time it happened, but after many times it is something I have come to expect. 

Haley was crying, seemingly inconsolable.  I had tried many things to calm her down to no avail, but when I told her where we were going she took a quick breath and said "Happy."  And then she giggled and she was ready to go.  She didn't eat anymore after that, which was my original goal.  She wanted to put her shoes on and get in the car.  We were going to visit one of her favorite people in the whole world, her "Fairy Godmother."

Haley and her Big Sis used to go to an in home daycare.  They really loved their daycare provider.  They missed her when I retired.  When the girls were baptized we asked her and her husband to be their Godparents.  Haley's Big Sis called her their Fairy Godmother.  We don't get to see her on a regular basis anymore, but when we do it is a big deal.  Of course while we were there Haley was an angel.

Yesterday I had to go to Costco and Fred Meyer.  Haley's Big Sis went to hang out with friends so Haley went with me.  She is really pretty good at the store in general, she does ask for things that she sees though just like other kids.  I let her have some things and I tell her no for others.  At Costco she saw a swimming suit that she liked.  I wasn't sure about the size, but I thought I could return it if it didn't fit. 

I didn't think about how Haley might feel about that.  As far as Haley was concerned if she was bringing it home it was hers.  When we got it home it just barely fit her.  I would have liked a little more growing room, but Haley didn't care.  I still needed to go to Fred Meyer so I told her if we found one there we would take this one back. 

Haley loves to shop.  As far as she is concerned if she likes something it should be hers, no matter if it fits or not.  Well, we tried on a couple of suits and they didn't fit her properly so we got a few groceries and went home.  Haley was already in a bad mood because we weren't bringing anything home for her.  Then we got home and she wanted to put on the swimming suit she did get.   To make a long story short, after many tears I gave in.  She put on the suit and I cut of the tags.  She didn't get to swim however, it just wasn't warm enough.  She wasn't happy about that either, but she did wear the suit for the rest of the day.

So I didn't blog yesterday.  I didn't have the energy and wasn't feeling it.  Maybe today will be better.